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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the most appropriate birthday present for mil from hell

121 replies

plim · 11/02/2013 21:16

So nothing new, my mil is a witch. I actually think she is very clever as she manipulates me, dh and her entire family like puppets on strings. Anyway, she hates me, offered me money not to marry dh, called dh two days before wedding begging him not to marry me saying he was making a huge mistake etc, that she was losing a son and then called me and told me a dark cloud has landed over her family and it's me. yada yada. I think it's because they are a family of top Drs and I didn't go to university - she brings that up a lot. I do however run a successful business but I am not what she hoped for. Anyway, on our wedding day she chucked a bottle of red wine over me - classy, she then ruined our wedding day by crying outside and then there was a fight between dh sister (a bridesmaid) and one of our family friends. Awful!

That's a very brief summary of ten years of hell. We agreed not o cut them off after much discussion and let them see the grandkids although she's starting her manipulative ways with the kids ( told my 7 yr old daughter that she shouldn't eat everything on her plate or she will end up like mummy) and tells my 4 yr old son to ask mummy if he can come and stay with her and she will give him lots of sweets etc etc. Anyway, trivialising for a moment - for the last three Xmas she has bought me the most obscure presents. A nailbrush from tk max with a bar of soap, following year a doormat, and this year a hand towel. Now, dh and I now laugh about it but it is a tad upsetting. It's her birthday next week.......what should I buy her?

OP posts:
GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 21:33

And a nice framed picture of said goat with its new owners.

yaimee · 11/02/2013 21:34

I like the broom. Or a massive vibrator, might loosen her up or at least keep her off your back for a bit!

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 11/02/2013 21:34

Some vintage sports memorabilia: ie an old bat

Binkyridesagain · 11/02/2013 21:34

Weight watchers cereal bars?

plim · 11/02/2013 21:34

Gregbishopsbottombitch omg love it, is there such a thing? Googling now....

OP posts:
manicbmc · 11/02/2013 21:35

A bottle of red wine stain remover and a pic of your kids wearing t-shirts that say 'Fuck off' and 'Grandma' Grin

justmuddlingalong · 11/02/2013 21:36

A bag?Wink

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 11/02/2013 21:36

Charity present. Moral high ground. And at least if she pays you back in kind, someone's benefitting.

ladymariner · 11/02/2013 21:36

A photo of you and your dh, arms round each other, looking totally loved up and happy........

LatteLady · 11/02/2013 21:37

You need to buy her Sansevieria trifasciata, otherwise known as Mother-in-law's tongue... subtle but pointed... it also known as the snake plant grin

MyDarlingClementine · 11/02/2013 21:39

Sorry if its already been mentioned:

A Bottle of Poison Perfume by Dior.

plim · 11/02/2013 21:39

Wow these are all so good, a broom, a goat, def an old bat and the picture - love it as she has no pics of me in the house, they're all of dh and the kids!

OP posts:
plim · 11/02/2013 21:40

And the plant, I know the one

OP posts:
GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 21:41

Quote What a shit present that would be.. Grin

plim · 11/02/2013 21:47

Flamin eck 2 cruise tickets and a loo roll

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 11/02/2013 21:47

The biggest pair of granny knickers you can find

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 21:49

Gay porn video disguised as family moments between DH and kids.

manicbmc · 11/02/2013 21:49

Tea towels? Or may be that's what she is getting you for your next present?

AudrinaAdare · 11/02/2013 21:50

How about a naice pair of nutcrackers?

And a Waterford crystal jar filled with some sweeties

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 21:50

Today at work, somebody donated a blood pressure machine, get one for her and tell her your emigrating to Oz.

plim · 11/02/2013 21:50

A hot water bottle?

OP posts:
GailTheGoldfish · 11/02/2013 21:52

Does she ever snoop? If so, glitter bomb.

CSIJanner · 11/02/2013 21:58

Are you breastfeeding? There's a lovely lady on Facebook who can take your breast milk and make it into a price of jewellery that your unknowing MIL will wear around her neck as of course, you'll tell her that her beloved GC choose it especially.

Am thinking of getting a pendent for my anti-BF rellies...

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