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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have found this patronising?

42 replies

FrontierFighter · 10/02/2013 23:21

So I met a guy on a night out a week ago when I was out with friends, and we have been texting back and forth for a week and decided to meet up last night.

Friends asked me Thursday if I was meeting up with him at all, so did tell them that yes we have date on Saturday night. Three of them on the night sent me good luck texts.

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch but I just found it so patronising. It's just a date.

Also I'm only 23 (hardly on the shelf just yet!) and I had broken up with my ex of 4 months just over a month ago, so it's not like I've been single for ages and I actually enjoy life regardless of whether I am single or part of a couple.

I think maybe I found it more patronising because they are in very long term relationships and perhaps pity their single friend.

OP posts:
AboutThyme · 11/02/2013 01:55

OP - is there something more to this? You can say, your amongst "friends".

MammaTJ · 11/02/2013 06:27

Oh my goodness. Every day I think 'surely there cannot be something more daft to be offended about' yet every day someone on here manages to come up with something!

YABU.

everlong · 11/02/2013 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty · 11/02/2013 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wigglesrock · 11/02/2013 07:23

I suppose they wish you Happy Birthday as well - bastards Hmm

ZillionChocolate · 11/02/2013 07:23

It was kind of them to remember and be bothered to text you. That massive chip on your shoulder's distorting your thinking (unless the text said "good luck, you'll need it, I'm amazed he agreed to go out with you, let's hope it works out so you can stop embarrassing us by being single")

Saski · 11/02/2013 07:26

I would do the same. YABU.

Iaintdunnuffink · 11/02/2013 07:35

Is there an age where it becomes acceptable to wish someone luck?

KenDoddsDadsDog · 11/02/2013 07:38

Leave the bastards

exoticfruits · 11/02/2013 07:52

What dreadful friends........being happy for you! ( keep quiet about it- friends are hard work if you have to walk on eggshells and second guess that they might get upset about perfectly friendly gestures)

BalloonSlayer · 11/02/2013 08:05

Actually I think YANBU, OP

It's not an interview for the job of a lifetime they know you have been desperate to do since you were little. It's a social meet-up with a man who may turn out to be a knobber/not your type/the love of your life/not that into you/Mr OK/whatever. Luck has nothing to do with it.

However I expect they really meant to say "First date! How fab! Aww I remember my first date with DP. It's so exciting. Hope you both have a great time and it's the first of many," but "Good Luck" is shorter and they probably genuinely think it means the same thing.

trixymalixy · 11/02/2013 08:43

YABU, they're probably excited for you and a wee bit jealous in some ways, definitely not pitying. Have you not seen the threads on here where someone is going on a date and posters who know nothing about the OP are saying good luck and waiting for updates? I love to lurk in those threads and if I actually knew the person involved I'd be itching to know every detail.

BelleJolie · 11/02/2013 09:57

You have lovely friends...be thankful.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 11/02/2013 11:20
Pagwatch · 11/02/2013 11:24

I think in this context a 'good luck' just means 'hope it goes well and you have a good time' rather than 'thank the lord, you might finally be off the shelf'

Ds1 had a first date last month and I wished him good luck. I knew he liked her and just wanted him to enjoy the evening. He's 19. I am kind of hoping it isn't heading for marriage right now. But having a nice date is a good thing isn't it?

Pancakeflipper · 11/02/2013 11:25

Joins Marmalade in looking around in a bemused manner.

Mmmnoodlesoup · 11/02/2013 11:26

Wow.

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