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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kick dp in the balls!!!!!

135 replies

InTheNightGarden · 10/02/2013 17:59

We have a 22month old dd who is teething atm and is a nightmare! (No fault of her own)
And a week old ds.

We live in a small terrace house...SMALL! things are hard enough atm with dc and the fact we're moving in just 3 weeks and I've been trying to pack things up (no help from dp) he's had his brother here ALL weekend, all they've done is sit on their asses in the lounge playing fucking fifa!!! The lounge tv is the only one we have and I dont particularly get on with his brother (he's caused us a lot of problems!) so I've been in my bedroom all weekend with ds, he's had dd playing downstairs.

I was unaware his brother was staying! I was never asked, or even told, technically it's my house although he helps pay for things.

His friends have now turned up... I've gone upstairs with ds to express milk, he's come up telling me I'm rude and that I need to be downstairs to occupie his friends partners....my boobs are killing me there so full and there's only enough milk in the fridge for another 2 feeds.

I'm hungry! (Can't eat with people around, own problem I know) so havnt really eaten all weekend,my boobs kill, I'm tired from nights with ds, I'm sick of boxes everywhere and trying to organise everything, I'm fed up of dps attempts of licking my ass because he knows I'm annoyed he's been a cock all weekend.

And I don't feel I'm being rude by NEEDING to get this milk out my sodding boobs!! I just feel like crying... dp's now come and announced its my hormones! ...foot in balls very shortly!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Ullena · 10/02/2013 19:48

Ok, it's your home not his. Go downstairs, and tell your partner and the rest of his mob to get out of your home, right now. There is no need to be polite or nice. They are affecting your ability to care for your baby, your DD is upset, and your own health is suffering.

If this fails, retreat back upstairs. Dial 101 and have them removed. And don't let them back in...him included.

Really hope you don't move in with him, op Sad He won't bring you food?

SquinkiesRule · 10/02/2013 19:49

Go down, meltdown crying and tell them all you are feeling like crap, have a week old baby and your partner is being a knob. they all need to leave, including your not so dp

13Iggis · 10/02/2013 19:51

On the bf front, please get to a bf clinic (or a phoneline even) for advice, your ordinary midwife won't necessarily spot what is wrong. Then you might have one less pain in your life. I know when you have a one-week old may not be the best time for throwing your partner out, but I wouldn't think twice about standing up for yourself and throwing the friends out - that would be a start.

mousebacon · 10/02/2013 19:52

Dear God, OP. Go downstairs, stay as calm as you can and tell them to leave - your 'd' p too if needs be.

Tell them you had a baby a week ago. Tell them you're tired and sore and hungry and if they don't look shame faced and leave immediately tell them to fuck off out of your house.

Your partner should be putting you first not his mates. What a selfish twat.

Please think very carefully before moving into the new house with this manchild.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/02/2013 19:53

Please tell them to leave, if they judge you for getting upset they are fucking Wankers, quite frankly.

YourHandInMyHand · 10/02/2013 20:01

OP is it possible for you NOT to move? If you can avoid moving into a house that is both of yours then please stay put. I can't believe how you are being treated here. Sad

Do you have any family or friends nearby?

Would you feel up to giving us a rough area of where you are? (You don't have to it's just there are lots of lovely MNers who may be able to offer support).

How old is he and his friends? I'm assuming none of them have kids? They all sound like selfish kids themselves.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 10/02/2013 20:04

Fucking hell!

A week after giving birth I was wandering round topless in an emotional blur. DP was acting as a doorman and only allowing nice, helpful people who were 'on the list' in.

Honestly OP, go downstairs to your living room and tell whoever is in their that you and your week old DC need rest.

If DP does anything other than kiss you, tell his 'friends' to leave and put DD to bed then he is a twat of the highest order and there really is only one answer - LTB.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/02/2013 20:09

OP I'm so annoyed for you! Get them to leave and I suggest you re-think moving in with the cock.

YourHandInMyHand · 10/02/2013 20:21

OP just read your thread fromduring your pregnancy where he was commenting on you being fat, and making you feel self conscious, not trusting you on nights out with your friends (who don't like him), commenting if you are out of shape before pregnancy, etc. Sad Did you get to speak to your midwife in the end? Did he support you at the birth or did your mum, and was he excited to meet your baby DS?

I have to say I'm quite worried about you and whatever you do tonight please reach out to friends, family and midwife for support.

Original poster
InTheNightGarden · 10/02/2013 20:22

They've all gone....

And he's now decided he wants to leave. I havnt done/said anything :( :( :(

Think hes found all this too much, he said a couple of days ago he wasn't sure if he wanted this :( :(

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 10/02/2013 20:24

Oh I'm so sorry garden :( I think for the time being at least though this might be for the best. Even though it will be really hard to see that right now.

Katisha · 10/02/2013 20:28

IS there anyone you can ring to come round and be with you?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/02/2013 20:28

So sorry OP. that's a rotten thing for him to do when you have a newborn it might be for the best though in the long run. SadAngry.

Flisspaps · 10/02/2013 20:28

I think stuntgirl is right, not that it makes it any easier right now.

Do you still have to move (have you exchanged contracts/given notice)?

Go and get yourself something to eat, if you're BF then you need to keep yourself well nourished as your lovely baby will be taking all the good stuff from your body x

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 10/02/2013 20:29

Have you got family / friends nearby? Reach out to one of them and ask them to come round and help x

mousebacon · 10/02/2013 20:29

Oh sweetheart. What a shit. Have you got family nearby?

Ullena · 10/02/2013 20:30

Order yourself a takeaway and get some rest, op.

mousebacon · 10/02/2013 20:32

Is there anything practical we can do? I could bring you some tea if you're in the NE?

Pozzled · 10/02/2013 20:33

Wasn't sure if he wanted what? Your DS? Bit bloody late for that.
You need to make sure that he gets his arse in gear and at the very least sorts out packing etc for the move. It soundsike he's planning on walking out and letting you deal with everything, and you really need to focus on you and your DCs. Is there anyone more supportive that you could stay with for a bit- family?

PureQuintessence · 10/02/2013 20:35

Honey, you will be fine.

Let him leave on his own.

It could be so much worse if he was an arse who refused to leave and continued to treat you with utter contempt.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/02/2013 20:35

Is him being a nob completely out of the blue or does he have previous?

Hope you have someone nearby to help you out. Whereabouts are you?

TravelinColour · 10/02/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HuggleBuggleBear · 10/02/2013 20:41

I cant believe how he has behaved. It sounds like he's realised the enormity of having a baby and he's trying to kid himself nothing has changed. Don't know if its already been said but if baby has difficulty latching he may have a tongue tie, is there a breast feeding clinic you can get to. My baby had a tongue tie and it was very painful but got it snipped and that sorted out the painful latch.

BalloonTwister · 10/02/2013 20:42

Oh OP, what an utter arse! Go downstairs, make yourself something to eat, put your feet up and lock the bastard out!

Do you have friends or family nearby?

Xales · 10/02/2013 20:42

Do you have any friends or family you can get to come around and look after you for a little?

Tomorrow call your mid wife or doctor let them know what is happening and ask if there is any support you can have.

Hard as it is forget your P right now. You and your two DC are the most important and you eating and coping are by far more important than this lazy petulant git.

If there is anyway you can cancel the move until you are more stable then try to?

/hugs

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