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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kick dp in the balls!!!!!

135 replies

InTheNightGarden · 10/02/2013 17:59

We have a 22month old dd who is teething atm and is a nightmare! (No fault of her own)
And a week old ds.

We live in a small terrace house...SMALL! things are hard enough atm with dc and the fact we're moving in just 3 weeks and I've been trying to pack things up (no help from dp) he's had his brother here ALL weekend, all they've done is sit on their asses in the lounge playing fucking fifa!!! The lounge tv is the only one we have and I dont particularly get on with his brother (he's caused us a lot of problems!) so I've been in my bedroom all weekend with ds, he's had dd playing downstairs.

I was unaware his brother was staying! I was never asked, or even told, technically it's my house although he helps pay for things.

His friends have now turned up... I've gone upstairs with ds to express milk, he's come up telling me I'm rude and that I need to be downstairs to occupie his friends partners....my boobs are killing me there so full and there's only enough milk in the fridge for another 2 feeds.

I'm hungry! (Can't eat with people around, own problem I know) so havnt really eaten all weekend,my boobs kill, I'm tired from nights with ds, I'm sick of boxes everywhere and trying to organise everything, I'm fed up of dps attempts of licking my ass because he knows I'm annoyed he's been a cock all weekend.

And I don't feel I'm being rude by NEEDING to get this milk out my sodding boobs!! I just feel like crying... dp's now come and announced its my hormones! ...foot in balls very shortly!!!!!!!

OP posts:
spiritedaway · 10/02/2013 19:22

Try not to express. . Maybe a little hand expressing is ok, . But it encourages more milk and messes with the foremilk so baby gets too much, can't fill up, suckles frequently and encourages even more milk. It's a horrible cycle that can lead to mastitis. If it's only expressed he's getting then he is probably getting too much foremilk. That is the only practical advice i can give, except please don't move house with your ex if it means you're trapped. Don't do it for the kids to have more space. Send him packing.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 10/02/2013 19:22

Oh INTG, you know deep down you really need to get rid of this horrible man.
Your P should be waiting on you hand and foot, his only break should be putting DD to bed, then bringing you dinner on a tray.
He really is a horrible man and you know he is. You'd be so much better off with out him.

CartedOff · 10/02/2013 19:22

He is a petulant child. You gave birth a week ago. Your body is recovering and you need to eat and he is refusing to cook for you because you are "rude".

Can you not see what a heartless person someone must be to act like this?

StuntGirl · 10/02/2013 19:23

I would take your daughter downstairs again and ask tell him to look after his daughter while you feed your son.

Is he cooking for all his friends too, just not you?

Seriously, go and cry if that's what it takes to get rid of them!

Could you call a friend/relative to come over? If my friend called me into this situation I would have no qualms shaming her partner and getting rid of the unwanted house guests on her behalf. In fact if you live near me I'll come and do it for you anyway! Grin

kalidanger · 10/02/2013 19:23

Can you rope in his mate's DP to do the kicking out for you?

Theicingontop · 10/02/2013 19:25

You gave birth a week ago! A WEEK AGO!

Your partner is the dickiest of dicks. Tell him to chuck his cronies out, settle yourself on the sofa with a cup of tea and make him fucking pack.

Angry
TheMightyLois · 10/02/2013 19:25

Why the actual fuck are you putting up with any of this! Kick everyone out, give your 22mo back to him, and stop letting him behave like this towards you.

BlueGoddess · 10/02/2013 19:25

Get your arse down those stairs right now - you need to have a complete meltdown at him, regardless of whether his mates are there or not!

Before you go work out exactly what you are going to say so you don't trip yourself up verbally.

Nagoo · 10/02/2013 19:26

Jesus, is he 15?

There's no way I'd be moving from 'my house' to 'our house' with this man.

No fucking way.

spiritedaway · 10/02/2013 19:26

I mean your p not your ex, he deserves to be ex imo x

TheMightyLois · 10/02/2013 19:27

So what if you end up crying - I'd be SCREAMING if anyody, let alone DP, treated me half as bad as he's treating you.

Crikeyblimey · 10/02/2013 19:27

I suspect the time has come to act - even if that means making a tit of yourself by crying. You have a newborn - you are allowed to cry.

Reclaim the sitting room NOW. Thank people for coming but it is late on a Sunday and they need to go now and let you be.

Please please go down now and cry at them.

Oh, and then, get dp to feed you, bring you a nice cup of tea, bath dd and put her to bed.

anastaisia · 10/02/2013 19:29

YANBU to want to so long as you don't actually.

I'd be asking them to all leave - him included.

I wouldn't be moving anywhere with him - if he wanted me to consider taking him back he'd have a LOT of making amends while living elsewhere to do. I'd rather just take care of me and the 2 children who are actually children than pander to a grown adult acting like one as well.

ImperialBlether · 10/02/2013 19:29

How many people are down there? I would go down and say, "Thanks for coming everyone, but it's time for you to go now. In case Twat didn't tell you, we've got a new baby and I want to sit down here and try to feed her. Twat, please go and bath the toddler. When you've finished, you can cook both of us some dinner."

If he causes trouble, tell him to get out with the others (and mean it) then phone for pizza delivery.

HumphreyCobbler · 10/02/2013 19:30

why does it matter what these selfish arses think of YOU? Go and tell them to piss off. I really wish I could do it for you, the fact that your partner is 'punishing' you by not cooking you a meal when you are 1 week post partum is giving me the rage on your behalf.

PurplePidjin · 10/02/2013 19:31

Shock Go and embarrass the fuck out of him. I'm sure one of these so-called mates can find a floor for him to doss on Angry What a twatweasel!

KenLeeeeeee · 10/02/2013 19:32

Please, please don't move in with this "man".

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 10/02/2013 19:32

go and make a tit of yourself. Go and cry and be upset and tell them that they need to leave BECAUSE YOU HAD A BABY A WEEK AGO and need peace and quiet. Tell DP to go too. Scream at DP that if he thinks that was rude then he can stick around and see ruder if he wants.

geez louise.

ImperialBlether · 10/02/2013 19:34

What's he like normally, OP? I find it hard to believe a normal nice guy would behave like this.

TheMightyLois · 10/02/2013 19:36

I really hope the OP has gone downstairs and is tearing her DP a new one.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 10/02/2013 19:36

oh and the geez louise was at DP, not you. He has piled arse upon arse. I can't believe he wouldn't cook for you and expected you to look after your other kid too.

Please please reconsider moving. He sounds very immature and not thinking at best.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 10/02/2013 19:38

Tell them all to go home.

This is so unfair :(

OHforDUCKScake · 10/02/2013 19:40

Fuck me, Id be leaving the bastard, not moving in with him. What an absolute utter prick. No way could I be with a 'man' like that.

BTW has your baby been checked for tongue tie?

Isityouorme · 10/02/2013 19:42

I think I would tell them all to fuck off and fuck off some more. Ignorant twats for doing this when you have a week old baby, and stupid cows to the women. I would throw a wobbly. And he can't make you dinner! He s a twat and I would actually kick him I the balls.

simplesusan · 10/02/2013 19:46

Op- please go downstairs and TELL the guests to leave-now.

If you cannot do this is there anyone in the house who you can get to do it for you?

Your oh is a complete selfish pig. Seriously his behaviour will get worse as you recover from your pregnancy.

Sometimes people don't think, my dh let lots of guests in after the birth of dd1, albeit many of them turned up uninvited. When I was pregnant with ds I told him straight, no visitors until I give the go ahead.
You need to tell your dp that you do not want visitors. If he cannot deal with this then I seriously would not be moving house with him.