To be fed up when people have an opinion on how many children you have or want

[brummiegirl1]

I have 2 young boys aged 2 and 7 months and would like 4 children if i'm lucky enough as i was an only child and knew i wanted a big family. Before i went off on maternity leave with my youngest a woman at work said are you done now and i said i would like more children in the future and she said im mad.

Other people have also asked the same thing. Is it me? I wouldn't dream commenting on how many children someone wants or has as it's up to them, when im asked now i feel all defensive about it and don't want to tell them like im a naughty teenager not a 33 year old married woman!

I have 5 in total and used to hear those negative comments from mainly english people. Lived in Spain for a little while and never came across any ignorant comments, in fact, the Spanish would congratulate my husband and i on our children. If you feel offended by someone's comment, you should say so or just walk off.......I also think sometimes its jealousy. Either these folks aren't able to have that many for one reason or another. There's nothing wrong with have more than 2.4 children or large families....

*have = having

I agree CruCru😊

This is interesting in respect to overpopulation
"And although family planning and contraception have indeed secured a low fertility rate in most parts of the world, the overall fertility rate remains at 2.6, far above replacement. Sub-Saharan Africa, the poorest region of the world, still has a total fertility rate of 5.1 children per woman, and the global population continues to rise by about 79 million per year, with much of the increase in the world?s poorest places. According to the medium-fertility forecast of the United Nations Population Division we are on course for 9.2 billion people by mid-century."

"In the coming decades we will have to convert to solar power and safe nuclear power, both of which offer essentially unbounded energy supplies (compared with current energy use) if harnessed properly and with improved technologies and social controls. Know-how will have to be applied to long-mileage automobiles, water-efficient farming, and green buildings that cut down sharply on energy use. We will need to re-think modern diets and urban design to achieve healthier lifestyles that also cut down on energy-intensive consumption patterns. And we will have to help Africa and other regions to speed the demographic transition to replacement fertility levels, in order to stabilize the global population at around 8 billion. "

So not just about reducing birth rates. And not just about reducing birth rates in UK.

Very bad show to over achieve! (I'm not actually sure how one can 'over' achieve ). And I can't see that being good looking in any way disadvantages the planet: it's environmentally neutral. So thatose comments are silly. I'm also hoping that since they do seem to have achieved, or be achieving, that they'll all be in a position to provide their own housing too.

I only get positive comments in RL. so I'm not overly worried by snitchers on MN :)

those comments, not thatose (I can usually spell, despite being by definition pretty thick).

We actually desperately need global populations to decline if we think it's reasonable for everyone in the world to enjoy the same standard of living as people in the west. If everyone in the world now (i.e. assume zero population growth) had the lifestyle of the average Westerner, the planet would need to have 2.5x the resources (metals, coal, gas, arable land,etc) that it does. On that basis, massively likely that we'll end up having a huge fight about it within the next 100 yrs and solving the problem by nuking at least half the world's population in one go.

There seem to be two parallel discussions going on here.

The first, posted by those who explain that they chose to have large families, but that those DC are high achievers, or that green lifestyles are enjoyed by the family. Or that those who have serious concerns about overpopulation are somehow jealous or ignorant for failing to applaud people who have large families (BarbJohnson)

Then the second type of discussion, posted by those who refer to various statistics, both current and projected, and then seek to relate these to the implications for future life in the UK and indeed around the world.

Implications such as infrastructure stretched to its limits. A need for more energy,much of which we already import. We already are desperately short of housing in this country. There is a loss of farming land to build that housing.

We already have to import around half the food we use.

We will need to build more schools, hospitals and roads. And we'll need plenty more jobs- yet how many million people are currently unemployed?

What about nature, what about wildlife? And what about quality of life?

Because thats what I want for my DCs.

The fact that DCs in large families may make a serious contribution to society and don't leave more carbon footprint than small families is relevant panda, sorry.

The fact that we live in a small three bedroom house, that I have a single car and drive less than eight thousand miles a year and that we average two visits to the doctor a year between us is also relevant.

How do they not leave more carbon footprint yellowtip?

Yellow - does that mean you are happy for your DCs and their future families to live in your current house together without the need for further houses built?

I just don't think large families are common enough to be seriously blamed for everything they have been blamed for on this thread.

What tasmania said

So we will need 8 more houses then - or will they all be staying with you?!

Annunziata what do you think about these statistics on population?

Or do you think a UK with a population of 70 million will be fine?

80 million new people a year worldwide. Is that okay?

Some MNers have vast houses for only two DC in overpopulated areas and travel extensively. I'm not going to apologise for living a sensible life as we do. I think you're pretty offensive.

So will your 8 dcs be living with you? Is having 8 "sensible"?

a lot of mumsnetters are critical of any one/thing that is against the acceptable norm.

I say let them carry on with their narrow minded judgy attitudes. I on the other hand am going to carry on loving my oversized brood of potential sperminators.

I think people will cope and change.

But surely it's large scale change you need, rather than simply blaming large families. Because I don't know enough large families to make a sizeable difference to 70 million.

Yellow - so you prefer people to live in smaller houses, so that more be packed into an already overpopulated area?Is that not treating the "symptoms" rather than the underlying problem??

Yellow I think you should have more than 8. How about 10 or 12.

I suspect the posters on this thread are right and you are both incredibly ugly and amazingly thick with little care for anyone in the world but yourself.

I suggest you raise your football team on benefits, travel the world excessively, dump highly toxic rubbish in areas of natural beauty, spray non ozone friendly deodorants liberally around your garden just to keep it smelling nice and train your children to have a million children between them.

Oh and don't forget to use the NHS as much as you can, even when you don't need to, just for fun.

Now I must dash as I have my own world ending family to cultivate, although I really am so thick I'm not entirely sure what that means!

I'm not particularly 'sensible' generally, I err towards the rash, but having had eight DC I have lived an environmentally sensible life.

My DC are ok with sharing bedrooms rather than having little princely suites and they like the fraternity and solidarity and security of a communal life. There are a lot of goods to be had with more than the standard two DC. Your view appears to me to be overly standard and unimaginative and narrow.

It's about the future, not now.

I stopped posting on this because I knew it would probably degenerate into "How dare you judge me!" And "I find that offensive!" Oh look. It has.

ArielThePracticalMemaid

I've given up pointing at the future. It seems people will only react once it hits their own DC. By that time it will be a little too late.

Scary.

Ariel it's pretty thick to say most mums of large families must be ugly and thick. And therefore offensive.

I don't tend to blow my own trumpet but I'm a fairly petite size 10, usually get lots of attention, very good skin, argey green eyes and a solid educational run with each of the DC. Put that together with low energy bills, small house in an underpopulated area and less miles on the car clock than most. Well, yes, not many apologies really.

Not sure where argey came from. I typed (or thought I typed) ok green eyes.