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Original poster

To be fed up when people have an opinion on how many children you have or want

471 replies

brummiegirl1 · 09/02/2013 20:58

I have 2 young boys aged 2 and 7 months and would like 4 children if i'm lucky enough as i was an only child and knew i wanted a big family. Before i went off on maternity leave with my youngest a woman at work said are you done now and i said i would like more children in the future and she said im mad.

Other people have also asked the same thing. Is it me? I wouldn't dream commenting on how many children someone wants or has as it's up to them, when im asked now i feel all defensive about it and don't want to tell them like im a naughty teenager not a 33 year old married woman!

OP posts:
Tasmania · 16/02/2013 17:13

JacquelineHyde Fair enough - made the mistake of thinking that a general statement would be less hurtful than pointing out certain comments.

juule · 16/02/2013 17:31

Tasmania your description of China doesn't sound too dissimilar to the situation in the UK as you seem to say yourself. . On a larger scale but the China is a lot bigger in area as well as population than the UK.
I was also under the impression that the one child rule was more rigidly applied in rural areas.

But I'm not an expert on those things.

I also agree with JacquelineHyde

Yellowtip · 16/02/2013 19:09

Tasmania I haven't read the thread closely but the thick people comment is thick. I have eight DC. Four are university age. All of those four are at Oxford. I've forgotten how many GCSE A* they have between them but about 45 I think. Similar hit rate at A2. They're all very far from ugly (beautiful in fact) and decent in the extreme.

Your comments are narrow minded and rude. No-one ever mentions Catholicism I note.

Tasmania · 16/02/2013 20:23

Yellowtip - if you read the thread more thoroughly, you'll realize it wasn't me who brought that up the first time round. Several other people have mentioned it a long time ago. And my comment was linked particularly comments of people justifying their multiple kids because eventually everything in this world "evens out in the end" (i.e. for everyone who chooses to have 6 kids, there are some who have none or only one). If that was the case, population growth would cease to exist, but it does not. And yet, people kept mentioning that one lie again and again... which IS stupid.

juule - it is the similarity that makes it scary. But despite the bad press they have, I have to say at least they take note of the effect of mass population on society and the environment. Have you ever figured out why there are so many Tiger Mums in the Far East? Because the world over there is that competitive. That trend is increasing here, too (you only need to read the threads on here).

Yellowtip · 16/02/2013 20:40

Isn't the European population declining?

ShellyBoobs · 16/02/2013 21:21

Isn't the European population declining?

No.

CheerfulYank · 16/02/2013 21:24

Plus, all the only children I know are self-important brats.

:o

CheerfulYank · 16/02/2013 21:26

Although that ^^ includes my own a lot of the time. I'm excited for DC2 to arrive and knock DS off his attention-seeking throne.

Yellowtip · 16/02/2013 21:29

Shelley I've just looked it up. It's declining markedly in some major European countries esp.Germany and it's marginal growth overall. In spite of the ugly thick people in the UK shelling out babies like there's no tomorrow. So we should all chill.

ShellyBoobs · 16/02/2013 21:45

Looked it up where, Yellow?

I can assure you that as a whole, the population of Europe is increasing. I need to know this information for business purposes so I'm fairly sure of the source we use (Eurostat).

Yellowtip · 16/02/2013 22:09

It's marginal overall though Shelley. What are your figures for overall growth?

Tasmania · 16/02/2013 22:21

^^ Yes, according to Eurostat, Europe's population is increasing, and most European countries follow the growing population trend apart from Germany (people there are ridiculously guided by logic) and certain Eastern European countries.

Still wondering how long people will try to argue that the population is decreasing, when it is so obviously not (scratches head). Maybe once their dcs are seriously affected by this trend, e.g. competition for school places, university places and jobs...

Then, all of a sudden, it's either the government's fault or that of immigrants. Of course, don't ever blame yourself.

Yellowtip · 16/02/2013 22:28

Tasmania it's marginal according to official stats, isn't it? Not a biggie tbf.

CarnivorousPanda · 16/02/2013 23:14

There are various estimates of population growth, one I saw projected an increase up to 70 million for the Uk by 2030. It may be an over estimate, but there is no doubt our population is growing. We are already one of the most densely populated countries in europe.

We already have a massive house shortage in this country. There aren't enough jobs. Our present infrastructure is struggling to cope. We import more than half our food. Demand will grow for resources.

Child benefit was originally introduced after the war as a measure to increase the population. Does anyone seriously think we still need an increase in population here? If these predictions are correct, how will we be able to absorb all these extra millions?

Tasmania · 17/02/2013 00:06

CarnivorousPanda - We've been trying to ask those people who don't seem to have a problem with the population growth for ages. Never had an answer really. Denial is almost epidemic here.

Yellowtip If I fail an exam by a marginal amount, it doesn't change the fact that I still failed to pass it. Will you be able to answer what CarnivorousPanda asked? If your dc fail to get the desired school place or get into uni or get that all important job or get onto the housing ladder... who do you want to blame? A lot of those problems would not exist if there weren't too many people around.

coralanne · 17/02/2013 00:53

My DB (highly intelligent with only 2DC so I guess he passes the test) keeps the family entertained by periodically posting episodes of "Crap Sayings" online.

Episode 1 was:

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion".

"No they are not. People are entitled to their own opinion when they are fully informed of ALL facts related to the topic in question.

Then and only then, are they entitled to an opinion.

loverofwine · 17/02/2013 02:00

I've got four kids.

coralanne · 17/02/2013 03:44

Congratulations loverofwine. Enjoy and celebrate with them.

I only have 2 but am the youngest of a family of 7.

Yellowtip · 17/02/2013 09:37

Well I'm obviously reading different stats but it's all cyclical anyway surely?

I wouldn't 'blame' anyone if my DC failed to get their desired school place (they haven't as it happens) and as for university I really can't see that population growth will be the determining factor there. Ditto their jobs. I assume that they'll contribute at least as much to the economy as they'll take out.

Perhaps you'd like to pick up the point about Catholicism Tas

FreudiansSlipper · 17/02/2013 10:08

the population of the world has over doubled in 50 years

of course we all need to take responsibility we just simply do not have the recourses be it financial or natural to sustain this growth and it is our children and grandchildren that will suffer

people make comments small talk throw away comments when you have children they are a talking point but if you have chooses to have a large family others will wonder why when there are problems with the nhs, school places, high unemployment these social problems are not improved by our young none working population

Yellowtip · 17/02/2013 10:47

I suppose it depends to some extent on what the children of large families will themselves contribute and how they're brought up to deal with environmental issues etc.

I don't think that our home has gobbled up resources any more than plenty of families with only two DC. It's a matter of lifestyle. We certainly don't overburden the NHS and I'm hopeful that my DC will generate work rather than deprive others of it. One just can't generalise. On the whole I think I've been jointly responsible for putting eight sets of pretty good genes out there for eight lucky partners.

Tasmania · 17/02/2013 10:53

Yellowtip If it was cyclical, you would see population growth "evening out" as some on here say. That isn't happening.

What do you want me to say about Catholicism???

FellatioNels0n · 17/02/2013 11:12

And if those eight lovely couples all wanted to do the same as you there'd be 64 more beautiful, clever, fabulous over-achievers all needing houses one day.

Exponentially that's quite dangerous, I'd say. And I think it's quite smug to say 'well it doesn't matter if I do it, because most other people won't.'

We are back to hogging the best stuff on the buffet again, and never mind that the people in the queue behind you get stale crumbs.

No-one ever mentions Catholicism I note.

Do you there is any point? It's hard enough debating this without people getting all defensive and offended as it is. The last thing we need is to give them a religious persecution angle to froth over as well.

Tasmania · 17/02/2013 11:32

I don't think there's much of a point either, FellatioNels0n. The people who want to use catholicism as fodder just want to lead you into a trap because religion is a touchy subject.

For what it's worth... I am a catholic, and you can see my views above. My mother was a catholic. She came from a large family, but while her parents did have many children, she and her siblings had less. My cousins and I have a maximum of two - one of them couldn't have children of his own, so he adopted exactly one.

I'm not a 100% practicing catholic - but most of my cousins are. Not all catholics are stuck in medieval times.

CruCru · 17/02/2013 12:05

This has become quite a strange thread.