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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To judge people who use could of/should of/would of?

184 replies

sneezingwakesthebaby · 09/02/2013 18:59

Am I being unreasonable?

I suppose I am a bit because someone could have any form of difficulty which affects their grammar.

But generally, I still form an opinion about someone and what type of person they are just based on their use of "of" instead of "have". I don't decide to do this. It just automatically happens when I read it.

Hmmm.

OP posts:
mummybare · 09/02/2013 19:00

YABU but I do it too, ALL THE TIME.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 09/02/2013 19:01

YABU

It's could a / would a / should a

FlouncingMintyy · 09/02/2013 19:03

Yabu. Its just about the most horribly judgemental thing I can think of - to judge someone who hasn't had a great education.

Yik!

vamosbebe · 09/02/2013 19:07

YABU to judge people by it, YANBU to compare it to nails grating down a blackboard like I do
They sound so similar when spoken that lots of people write it that way, too. I'm not a fan of it but then I am an English teacher and a bit of a pain in the ass stickler for grammatical perfection. I wouldn't, however, judge someone by it or point it out.

Rattitude · 09/02/2013 19:08

Does one really need to have had a great education to know that it should be 'should have', etc.?

usualsuspect · 09/02/2013 19:09

I judge people who start sneering threads like this one.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha · 09/02/2013 19:09

I say it and I have 3 degrees. Languages evolve. Whatever. Biscuit

usualsuspect · 09/02/2013 19:11

I wouldn't even notice if someone said could of.

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/02/2013 19:13

YANBU

Purple2012 · 09/02/2013 19:14

I notice it all the time. If its being said then it is just the way it sounds but i hate seeing it written in professional settings. I am an avid reader and the amount of books that have this astound me. It should be right in a book. On forums etc i dont particulary notice as i speed read a lot.

Salbertina · 09/02/2013 19:17

Definitely NBU. And it makes no sense when written down- English is not a particularly phonetic language so no excuse that we pronounce a certain way..

ilovesooty · 09/02/2013 19:17

I don't think the OP was sneering. She simply said that the use of "could of" etc does have that effect on her and she invited feedback on whether others thought that reasonable.

It absolutely grates on me and I do wonder about how someone thinks it's correct, but I would generally not mention it in the interests of not sidetracking the thread or being thought of as unnecessarily rude.

MsVestibule · 09/02/2013 19:18

I notice it, as I do most obvious grammatical/spelling mistakes, but it doesn't bother me on an internet forum. As long as posts are legible and not in text speak, I don't care.

If I was reviewing CVs/application letters, then yes, unless the candidate was particularly good, their application would go in the bin.

FlouncingMintyy · 09/02/2013 19:20

Not great is not the opposite of great or is that too subtle for you Rattitude.

Judge people for being mean, unkind, spiteful, criminal, unwashed, thoughtless, petty, sneering, pedantic, lazy, workshy, crude, vain if you must. But don't judge them for not knowing exactly the right spellings or grammar all the time!

Theala · 09/02/2013 19:20

this is why pronouncing h is a good idea. it mostly avoids this problem. :)

FlouncingMintyy · 09/02/2013 19:20

How can the op not be sneering if she says she "judges" people?

ilovesooty · 09/02/2013 19:21

If I was reviewing CVs/application letters, then yes, unless the candidate was particularly good, their application would go in the bin

I agree with that.

What I do find irritating is people claiming that they're "writing casually"/"not at work now" etc. Surely if you know how to write correctly you do it automatically?

PickledInAPearTree · 09/02/2013 19:23

I think grammar is not a huge indicator of someones intellectual prowess. Younger people cab have poorer grammar as its not even taught that well in schools any more.

I worked for a grammar mad boss doing lengthy reports a few years back and she could pick holes in each one.

Plus your just chatting on a forum, I don't take great care on here to be honest.

So I think YABU.

OurPlanetNeptune · 09/02/2013 19:23

I am not English, not brought up in England and I feel I am still learning learning the language. It is sometimes confusing for me when I read this. I do assume the person who has written it is not very educated. Very wrong of me, as the poster with three degrees demonstrates. I have rejected job applicants based on their very bad grammar.

PickledInAPearTree · 09/02/2013 19:24

And I phones and bloody auto correct.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 19:25

Mmm. I think probably everyone has something they wince at while knowing it's not entirely logical or fair. So as far as that goes, YANBU.

But it is a daft one to get worked up about. It's not a mistake I make myself, but for some people it is the phonetic spelling. I would imagine in 50 or 100 years it may well become acceptable. On the face of it, it isn't any more or less logical than 'have', after all. It just happens to be grammatically incorrect.

ilove - no, you don't necessarily do it automatically. I can tell this, because 'one' is better stylistically than 'you' in that sentence, but neither you nor I went for it, because we chose instead to be colloquial.

floweryblue · 09/02/2013 19:26

In speech 'could of' sounds similar to 'could've' so doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think of email/forums as being like normal speech, so water off a ducks back.

When I am reading a novel I have paid money to buy, I find the few bits of grammar I know being abused really annoying.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 19:26

Oh, and it's: 'if you know how to write correctly [comma] you [would] do it automatically?'

babybarrister · 09/02/2013 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickledInAPearTree · 09/02/2013 19:27

I was about to say that flowery.

Would've and would of for eg sound similar.

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