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AIBU?

To think I should get to pick what my dd wears?

143 replies

cherryonthetop2013 · 07/02/2013 11:31

So MIL gave a dress, tights, shoes and shrug to DP the other day. I don't like it, neither does DP. The shoes are too small for her, the tights and shrug are also not nice.
I'm not fussy or ungrateful, I just really don't like it, she'll look like a bridesmaid on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Far far too fussy for a baby (she's only 5 months).
MIL bought the dress before Xmas so I doubt I'll be able to return it.
Anyway, last night DP told me that MIL wants DD to wear it to our birthday meal. MIL and I share the same birthday so we're having a big family meal at a lovely restaurant.
I've already got a dress for DD that she was given when she was first born and I've been dying for her to grow in to it, it's stunning and she looks so beautiful in it and I can't foresee another occasion for her to wear it.
DP has said he's not getting involved over the dress politics but "it is also my Mum's birthday and I think she'll be upset if she doesn't wear it".
But honestly the dress makes me want to vomit, I'd cringe every time I looked at my dd looking so rediculous. A couple of my friends have also seen the dress and say the same, it's vile!

Having a boy was so much easier, no bloody dramas about dresses then!

What do I do? Put her in a dress that I hate so to not upset MIL or put her in a dress which I love?
Btw it's my 30th and MIL's 60th so both special birthdays, so I can't even use that as a decider.

OP posts:

Report

Mumindoha · 07/02/2013 15:14

Put her in the dress and take loads of pics. It will GUARANTEE hilarity for you all in a few years' time when you get the pics out

Mumindoha · 07/02/2013 15:25

We have so many pics of us (in the seventies) and our children (in the nineties) wearing bad clothes...so funny to look back on

Francagoestohollywood · 07/02/2013 15:28

Oh come on babies are comfy as long as there are arms to cudfle them and their belly is full, usually. Never met a 5 months old able to differentiate between a babygrow or a dress, unless the dress is made of needles..

AThingInYourLife · 07/02/2013 15:30

What's so uncomfortable about dresses?

They were what babies wore before poppers were invented.

Anyone "suggesting" that a baby be attired in their choice of clothes at their choice of event is being a bossy boots.

I love how the grandmother and her son are just well-meaning eejits but the child's mother is a controlling lunatic for wanting to dress her own kid.

Greensleeves · 07/02/2013 15:34

lol at needles franca

It's impossible for us to know whether the MIL is a toxic undermining witch or a perfectly nice woman with minging taste

I think we all bring our own baggage to a thread like this. For me it's a binary thing - my mother = controlling hag, nothing is really "just a dress", it's always part of the wider score sheet. MIL = lovely, a bit loopy, grit my teeth and bear it. So I guess every time I post on a MIL thread I am projecting to a degree

only OP knows what is really going on with her and dh/MIL/dd

twofingerstoGideon · 07/02/2013 15:35

I don't know what thread you're reading AThing but has anyone called the child's mother a 'controlling lunatic'?

maddening · 07/02/2013 15:41

Exactly mumin - these people had no dress sense when dressing us and they want to carry on with the grandchildren :)

CatsRule · 07/02/2013 16:48

My mil insists on buying all things Tigger for my ds and dh and I really dislike Tigger clothing.

However, as horrible as the woman is otherwise, I just put him in those clothes anytime I know we will see her as ds is too young to mind what he wears (recently as it's so cold I've been putting tights on him, navy or red, not pink ...choose your battles!

Your dd won't know the difference and you won't have to worry if she pukes on it or spils something down it if you dislike it that much.

Maybe your dh can take you and dd out for a nice family meal and she could wear your nice dress? Create another opportunity to celebrate and put her in the nice dress.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 07/02/2013 16:59

You can't tell from the OP whether it went like this

(a) "I've bought your dd a dress, it would be lovely if she wore it for our birthday meal [thinks ... and I'll be momentarily sad if she doesn't but I understand DIL's taste is different to mine and its her birthday too so I'll keep quiet]

or like this

(b) "I've bought your dd a dress. It is gorgeous, BE GRATEFUL. I expect and insist that she wears it and I shall cry conspicuously if she doesn't and never let anyone forget it and ruin everyone's day so just do as I say or else"

The fact that the DH has instantly said that he isn't getting involved in 'politics' points to it not being (a), doesn't it.

But we don't know, and we have no idea what the MIL is like generally, so everyone has mentally given her the character that suits their own worldview and replied accordingly. Total pointless thread, therefore.

OP, we need more info!

ArbitraryUsername · 07/02/2013 17:06

Of course, the answer is that the OP's DH does not get to opt out of 'politics' when they involve his mother. Get him to tell your MIL that you'd already bought a dress. Instead, dress your DD in the vile frilly night are next time you go to visit her (minus the shoes, obviously, because she's 5 months olds and doesn't need them).

You need to post a photo of the dress OP. just so we can all comment objectely, of course.

Mymooncuprunnethover · 07/02/2013 17:31

I would definitely not put her in the MIL's dress. If you think it's really awful, then your DD shouldn't have to wear it.

Also, it's a big family gathering. I don't know, but maybe there will be some people there who haven't seen the baby yet, or see OP very infrequently. OP will want to be proudly showing off the baby, not being embarrassed about what she's wearing....other people will think she likes the hideous thing!

Don't make excuses either, just don't mention it and hopefully it won't be a big deal.

Would be interested to see the outfit, but the fact that there were shoes for a 5 month old with it speaks volumes...

Floggingmolly · 07/02/2013 18:43

Why don't you post pictures of the two outfits, op?
You think yours is the bees knees, your MIL's is the total opposite to yours...
I wonder how many posters would be able to tell which was which? (bad taste is not confined to older people)

UniS · 07/02/2013 18:50

start the day in MiL dress, no bib, (no shoes, they are too small .) give DD shrug to suck in the car, by the time you have got to meal it will need changing. put DD in your dress, by pudding it will also need changing, scratch around the car to find a baby grow, put DD in that, relax.

BigSilky · 07/02/2013 18:53

Go on, post a picture.

I would put her in the dress for her grandmother. It'll make her so happy.

blondefriend · 07/02/2013 19:12

start the day in MiL dress, no bib, (no shoes, they are too small .) give DD shrug to suck in the car, by the time you have got to meal it will need changing. put DD in your dress, by pudding it will also need changing, scratch around the car to find a baby grow, put DD in that, relax.

My thoughts exactly. My dd is now 4 and I never get to choose what she wears. She goes out in leggings, skirt, socks, trainers and jumper all in slightly mismatching shades of pink. sigh

Yfronts · 07/02/2013 20:05

combine both outfits?

Yfronts · 07/02/2013 20:06

Start meal in grans outfit, spill gravey on it and then change to your outfit

Yfronts · 07/02/2013 20:06

or say 'thats a lovely idea but i've already got her a special outfit for the party'

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