To think I should get to pick what my dd wears?

[cherryonthetop2013]

So MIL gave a dress, tights, shoes and shrug to DP the other day. I don't like it, neither does DP. The shoes are too small for her, the tights and shrug are also not nice.
I'm not fussy or ungrateful, I just really don't like it, she'll look like a bridesmaid on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Far far too fussy for a baby (she's only 5 months).
MIL bought the dress before Xmas so I doubt I'll be able to return it.
Anyway, last night DP told me that MIL wants DD to wear it to our birthday meal. MIL and I share the same birthday so we're having a big family meal at a lovely restaurant.
I've already got a dress for DD that she was given when she was first born and I've been dying for her to grow in to it, it's stunning and she looks so beautiful in it and I can't foresee another occasion for her to wear it.
DP has said he's not getting involved over the dress politics but "it is also my Mum's birthday and I think she'll be upset if she doesn't wear it".
But honestly the dress makes me want to vomit, I'd cringe every time I looked at my dd looking so rediculous. A couple of my friends have also seen the dress and say the same, it's vile!

Having a boy was so much easier, no bloody dramas about dresses then!

What do I do? Put her in a dress that I hate so to not upset MIL or put her in a dress which I love?
Btw it's my 30th and MIL's 60th so both special birthdays, so I can't even use that as a decider.

[Greensleeves]

I didn't think I was being mean-spirited! I think unless it is part of a wider campaign of deliberate undermining OP should put dd in MIL's dress

the "batty relatives" comment was meant slightly affectionately - I just think we all have to do a bit of appeasing to protect the feelings of older relatives. I put ds1 in a strange flared sailor suit with lambs on it because MIL had kept it from when her (now 40yo) ds1 was little.

[atthewelles]

I cannot believe that people would be prepared to 'stand their ground' over what a 5 month old baby wears to a party, even if it means hurting the feelings of a well meaning grandmother. God help the OP, and some of the posters on here, if they ever have any real issues to argue over.
It's quite sad, actually.

[Greensleeves]

My MIL isn't like that seeker. She's lovely. We have completely different values on almost everything, but we get on because we meet each other half way.

I see plenty of posts about MILS who are lovely

[seeker]

Sorry, I didn't think you were, greensleeves. One of the few!

[nokidshere]

Thank goodness I have boys :D

And 5 month old babies should be in a beautiful babygro surely?

[AThingInYourLife]

I've put my girls in all sorts of outfits to please gift givers, but no ducking way would I be following anyone's orders about how to dress my child on a particular day.

[WorriedMummy73]

Personally, I wouldn't put her in either of the dresses. It's a 5 month old baby, not a fecking doll to be dressed up for people. Put her in a nice -comfortable - babygro ffs.

I love the fact that this is about MIL and people are so quick to jump on her, despite op saying nothing about her personality - all these assumptions about how controlling and pushy she is when nothing of the sort has been established. I would be interested to see the responses had this been a dress from op's Mum - I suspect there would be a lot more sympathy for op's Mum in that case. Why is there such a backlash against MILs on here?

[morethanpotatoprints]

Ah, bless her. She really means well you know.

Ok " what a beautiful outfit, dd looks absolutely lovely in it, we were really looking forward to her wearing it tonight " Unfortunately she chucked up all over it before we came out, no time to change.
Tell the biggest whopping lie you ever have. Not forgetting to tell her how nice it looked. Bingo, no horrendous outfit for dd and mil upset averted.

[Francagoestohollywood]

I agree with Seeker, Hully and Greeny.
After all, you can dress her how you like every day, often more than once a day at that age!

[AThingInYourLife]

My answer would be the same if it were the Dalai fucking Lama issuing edicts about how I should dress my children.

[Pandemoniaa]

Is it worth upsetting your MIL over something as trivial as a dress? I, too, dislike all this "ur baby, ur rules" crap when it over-rides a simple act of kindness that'll hurt nobody. In years to come, you can laugh over the photos since your 5 month old dd is not going to be traumatised by an unfortunate outfit worn once.

Take the dress you want her to wear with you. I'd be amazed if your dd doesn't need changing anyway.

[getoffthecoffeetable]

Have you thought about taking DD to get a photo taken while she's wearing the outfit that MIL has bought her? You can get one done for less than a tenner nowadays. Wrap up and give MIL the photo as a special present from DD. then you can put DD in the outfit that you want her in for your special day.

[twofingerstoGideon]

I cannot believe that people would be prepared to 'stand their ground' over what a 5 month old baby wears to a party, even if it means hurting the feelings of a well meaning grandmother. God help the OP, and some of the posters on here, if they ever have any real issues to argue over. It's quite sad, actually.

I would be willing to bet that the people who believe in 'standing their ground' over such a trivial issue are exactly the sort of people who will end up being nightmare MILs.

[plantsitter]

I would just put it on her TBH. Maybe not the shoes. I like doing stuff to make my MIL feel nice even if it's not to my taste. Helps family relations.

[ArbitraryUsername]

Just you wait until she's a toddler and wants to choose her own clothes... This will all seem like a storm in a tea cup.

[MavisGrind]

Like another poster, I'm not sure why this thread has pissed me off so much but really - shoes and a fucking shrug for a 5 month old??

Put her in a baby gro - she'll still look beautiful, she's a baby - they're all beautiful!

[AThingInYourLife]

Obeying a bossy cow telling you how to dress your child isn't an act of kindness, it's an act of submission.

It boggles my mind that anyone would even make a demand like that.

[atthewelles]

Oh for God's sake AThing. She bought her granddaughter an outfit that she thinks is really special; she thinks it would be lovely if the granddaughter wore it for a family occasion coming up and has said this.
She sounds like a loving grandmother with not great taste in clothes; not a bossy cow making demands.

[Touchmybum]

On the one hand, it's only a dress and my first reaction was to put baby in the MIL's effort, and make sure she needs a change.

However, I am recalling the horrid, nasty, old-fashioned, ugly, frilly dillies that my MIL bought for my daughters.... and I'm sorry but sometimes you just CAN'T!!!!

[twofingerstoGideon]

Wasn't aware that OP said MIL told her how to dress her child?

[AThingInYourLife]

She sounds like a bossy cow to me.

Buying someone an outfit for their baby doesn't mean you get to demand when it is worn.

[AThingInYourLife]

I'm going to ring my brother and get him to tell his wife that I want my new niece dressed in the outfit I bought her the next time I visit.

Oh no, I won't. Because that would be unbelievably bossy and overbearing. and because I haven't got them a gift yet

[twofingerstoGideon]

Where did she 'demand'?

[atthewelles]

But I don't think she's demanding, AThing. She probably said something to her son like 'oh I hope DIL puts DGD into that outfit I bought for our birthdays. I'm dying to see her in it'. DS (not particularly interested) says 'oh yeah, I'm sure she will'. DS then goes home, says to DW 'Oh mum wants DD to wear that yucky outfit to the birthday bash' DW goes 'Whaaat. But I already have a dress for her'. DS 'Oh right. I think she was looking forward to seeing her in it. She might be a bit upset now'.

Maybe I'm wrong but I didn't get the impression from the OP that her MIL was stamping her feet and insisting the dress be used.

[Sashapineapple]

A little baby wouldn't be that comfortable in a dress anyway surely. Jeez both our kids were in babygrows until they were about 9 months, they were nice and comfy for them. MIL got us loads of clothes but aside from not being our taste at all, we just wanted the babies to be comfy.