to get annoyed with friends latest comment?

[MascaraMegan]

I feel like I am because I know I'm sensitive but anyway ...

I am a very insecure person (getting much better though). Me and my friend took an exercise class together. I had my hair up in a ponytail each week and I always pull parts down (I always have my hair down as it's almost like a safety blanket) - friend would constantly comment saying - eurgh how can you have your hair like that, doesn't that annoy you? it would really annoy me! Even when I explained she still said it.

Or once in the class (it was a hot day) she decided to wear really tiny shorts, I wouldn't have the guts to do that so worn thin leggings instead - and as soon as she saw me she commented saying - OMG why are you wearing those?! You are going to boil.

These are just a couple of examples.

She knows I am not the most confident of people and I just hate having attention brought to why I'm wearing what I'm wearing etc.

Anyway tonight we were discussing what we were going to wear to a friends birthday and I said I'm wearing a new skirt that I bought last week.

Her reaction - "Oh my god, you're NOT wearing jeans? I can always rely on you to wear jeans. If I know you're going anywhere then I know it's safe to wear a pair of jeans"

Now I am being sensitive, so probably deserve a virtual slap. But I don't know ... it just really irked me.

Well as you've said you are being sensitive and nothing you've said so far has made me think otherwise.

But I suppose your friend should know that and think before she speaks

Though to be honest, it can be hard work to kind of second guess what an overly sensitive person is going to take offence to next IYSWIM?

Are you doing anything about your problem? Have you sought any help even if it's just reading material to help with your confidence?

Was there a chance she was expecting you to wear jeans and therefore had also planned to wear jeans? And now you're not she has to replan her outfit?
In my friend group we will often do a text saying what are you wearing and multiple times I had planned to be casual, found out everyone was going more dressy and then been like ffs why? Now I have to change my outfit...

WAC??

What A Cunt?

I dont understand why she needs to comment on you so much. I dont really think you are being too sensitive. If someone was commenting on me like that all the time I would be annoyed too.

She sounds like a drama queen, you're simply the target for her silly attitude. If you value her friendship in other ways then you just have to see it as one of her character defects.

Shrug your shoulders and smile. The problem is hers, not yours.

I think it's because I've known her for years and she knows I'm not a confident person and I literally said - I wear my hair like this because it's almost like a security blanket to me.

I usually just try and let these comments go over my head, but this time ... I don't know.

Next time you see her, do the following.

Twirl. Smile. Turn around. Stretch you arms out. Say:

"Well, I am waiting."

She will say "eh. for what?"

ANd you reply:

"For the running commentary on my hair, my looks, my clothes, that you always give me when we meet up. Thought I should we should get past this straight away so I would not have to wonder when you would start commenting"

And smile.

I think you are way overthinking.

She thinks you are pretty, presumably you don't have to hide your lovely face.
She thinks your arse is presentable, so you could wear shorts with no repercussions.
She thought you'd wear jeans, so she could wear jeans without feeling underdressed.

She's not been mean to you IMO. :)

As I'm someone who is generally not that good at picking up on others' sensitivities, your friends comments don't strike me as anything out of the ordinary. Maybe she's lightly teasing you to bring you out of yourself?

Worried about crisis?

Agreed that she doesn't need to comment on everything, but I assume the examples are collected over time, not all in the last week or something.

See I don't think there's anything wrong with the comments in themselves

"Doesn't it annoy you? It would annoy me". If it were me that would be true because I can't stand hair touching my face when it's tied back.

"You're going to boil"...on a hot day could be right.

The jeans thing just sounds as though she expected you to wear jeans and now she has to rethink her outfit.

But if she's your friend and she knows you're being over sensitive (as you've admitted yourself)...then she should probably think about treading on eggshells a bit more.

Other than that, I don't see anything particularly wrong in the comments themselves.

Worra I don't really understand teenage style lingo like WAC but can state that you are most definitely not a cunt.

WAC?

She's either forgetful, because she keeps on saying the same kind of thing that winds you up, or thoughtless, because she speaks before she thinks how it might make you feel. If you don't have many friends you may think you have to hang onto this one. Have you tried saying, oh not that again, when she starts on about your hair or clothes? Sometimes we tolerate little annoyances from friends because overall, we think they're worth knowing, and keep us right.

Buy earplugs. Just for a laugh, when she starts on, put them in. She'll either have a laugh or take a huff. If you don't enjoy her company you won't miss her.

I have a 'friend' like this, constant little comments that sound petty to anyone else. But every time I saw her she would say something that would upset me. So I don't see her any more.

If it is just this friend that you find yourself sensitive like this with I would say it's not you being over sensitive and she is a toxic friend

Thanks Megatron I'm going to settle for What A Cutie

Whittles arse crisps?

safe to wear jeans bc someone else was going to wear them? FFS that shite went out with primary school. If that is her attitude (and going by her other Judgy McJudgo comments) she sounds a little insecure herself.

To persist with comments about your hair style even after you had offered an explanation makes her come across as the love child of a terrier and a two year old. Try not to justify yourself - it just gives her material to get those terrier teeth into. Ignore that shit if you can. You don't owe her any explanations.

Don't be hard on yourself it sounds like you are doing a good job of building your confidence and breaking out of your comfort zone.

Or ... what a charmer?

apostropheuse I'll take that one

Sold!

Oh but that would be WAB surely?

What A Beauty?

Not sure what 'Whatt' means...is that also teenage lingo?