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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

999 replies

Silverstar2 · 06/02/2013 17:41

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

OP posts:
JeffFaFa · 11/02/2013 11:19

can someone explain why the bras we need are so different to the store size guides? after someone telling me to look at a 30 DD i googled it, and seen a few in debenhams in this size but looking at their size guide my measurements apparently make me a 34 AA? im certainly not that! i wear a 34 D or DD now cant remember and its slightly big in the cup, very in the back as rides right up but im not an AA! so why are the guides set out this way? as surely this dicates what stores hold and ive certainly never seen smaller than a 32 back in a high street store?

SorrelForbes · 11/02/2013 13:05

JeffFaFa I think it all dates back to the times before the technology existed to produce the stretchy fabrics now used to construct bras.

Why the High Street shops haven't updated their on-line calculators and their in-store stock, god only knows. Debenhams and HoF are much better these days at stocking 28 and 30 bands. My nearest JL however didn't have any when I looked at Christmas.

With regards to your own sizing, a D or DD in a 34 is the equivalent cup volume to a 30F and a 30FF! It's not surprising therefore that your current bras are too big in the cup and band. A 30DD has the same volume cup as a 34B.

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 14:28

Right ladies, I've been scooping. I can feel a slight difference already in the sides. But what should I do about the separated breast tissue at the front? The kind of podge hitch would sit over a bandeau. Should I smooth downwards to try to fill the dent between the main boob?

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 14:30

Hitch? I mean bit. Sorry. I hate this pad.

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 14:40

MrsKoala, do you mean you have overspill at the front once you scoop everything in? That means you need a bigger cup size I'm afraid.

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:06

No sorry, I described it up thread. Because I've been wearing the wrong size for years my breast tissue appears to have separated. Even when naked I have a pouch of flesh next to my armpit which looks like a small boob, then it goes in and my boob then comes out beneath it. Imagine when you see someone in one of those bandeau wedding dresses and they have a wodge of boob on their pectoral muscles just before the dress goes under the armpit. It's hard to describe.

When I got fitted once they said all of that should be in the bra rather than so far above it.

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 15:20

Ah OK, I am with you now. I have a bit of that going on myself. A big part of fixing that is time - mine has got a lot less defined with a few years of well fitting bras. I also find it helps to find bras which are quite high cut under the armpit. Some are cut a lot lower than others and for me these make the problem a lot worse. I find Freya tends to be quite high cut under the arm. If I was ever remotely borderline between cup sizes I also tend to go up rather than down as if it is even a fraction small, it comes out the armpit Blush

I did also find that to begin with I had to scoop a few times a day - I almost had to retrain that tissue back to where it should be.

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:23

Yes, so with the 'scooping' for this it would be more of a smoothing downwards, is that what I should be doing?

CuriousMama · 11/02/2013 15:25

You need Sadie the Bra lady in our town. Actually she has a few shops.

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 15:28

from your description it sounds like it - probably a sort of forwards and down motion. You might find you need to be quite forceful to 'encourage' it back to where it belongs. It does work eventually though, mine are far from perfect but they are considerably improved.

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:33

Just looked at Freya bras and they seem to only start at dd. I am only small, I have been wearing an a cup up to now. Anyone know of any high sided, wide apart straps, balconette bras in 38b or even 38c?

KnitterInTheNW · 11/02/2013 15:46

I haven't read the whole thread (sorry) but wanted to add my recent revelation - Matalan bras! I got a couple of underwired ones from there recently after finishing bfing, took a few into the changing room to try different sizes. Their 42C fits perfectly, gives me enough support and are comfy. The ones I have are boned at the sides so they don't roll up. I've always struggled getting bras, M&S ones rub a little way under my boobs on my ribs, and there aren't that many places that make over a 40 back that aren't really expensive. I'm under no illusion that they'll last forever, but at £6 each (and got a couple in the sale for £3) I don't mind too much!

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 15:53

38b freyas

Also, just read upthread and I notice underwires are causing you massive problems at the moment - it's an utterly random suggestion but have you ever tried a wonderbra ultimate strapless? It comes in a 38b, and instead of underwires it has a plastic form in it (almost shaped liked fingers) which provides amazing lift. I have one (and my boobs are around an HH so not small or light!) and I often wear mine when I don't need strapless but do need a break from wires and straps. Its also quite high sided/ this one for example

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:55

Thinking about it, I was measured yanks ago, can't remember, may have been JL, and they said I was measuring a 36c. Which I thought was ridiculous as my back is so broad and knockers so small. They got 36c out for me to try but all the cups were too close together and really baggy and the back was so tight.

Oh this is a nightmare. I can see logically what I should be, but when I put every bra on the cups are baggy. Is this because of all the migrating boobage?

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:57

Ooh thanks, I like that one. Will it affect my new scooping regime tho?

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 15:58

I suspect the migrating boobage is the culprit as it probably means that where you are and where the cups are, don't quite match. When I was younger I had the opposite issue - my boobs were very close together and full at the front and I wound up having to wear a chicken fillet at the side of my bra, because a bra that was big enough for the front was empty at the side!

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 15:59

Obviously not yanks ago, but YONKS ago. I so fucking hate this pad thing (I left my laptop at my mums so dh has leant me his pad and it's driving me mad, I'm posting like I'm pissed without the pleasure of actually being pissed Angry )

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 15:59

Scooping works with it, it doesn't feel as tight as underwired bras but it stays put anyway. The first time I wore it I kept feeling like it must have fallen down because the pressure points are entirely different, kept checking to discover my cleavage was still where I had left it!

MrsKoala · 11/02/2013 16:02

Yes, my boobs are naturally quite far apart on my breast plate, hence why all the bra straps have cut about a third of the tissue of and forced it upwards, outside the wires and straps. All cups are baggy in the centre and over spilling under the armpit.

JeffFaFa · 11/02/2013 16:02

Ok ive just measured myself again to be sure in the bra im wearing and im 29 under pulled tight and 34 and a half across, the bra im wearing is a 34 D definatly. I tried a bra on in a 32 C recently and the cup was too small back felt ok i think but they didnt do bigger than a c

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/02/2013 16:16

JeffFaFa, on those measurements I would suggest trying a 28E and a 30D as a starting point. However, if a 32C was too tight in the cup and a 34D is what you currently wear that suggests you need a bigger cup than the measurements would indicate...

Can you try remeasuring your top measurement - but - instead of doing it in a bra, take your bra off, lean forward (so your breasts are hanging forward at 90 degrees from your body) and measure like that. The top measurement should also be relatively loose.

CelticPromise · 11/02/2013 16:16

Jeff sounds like you should try a 28E or 30D or DD.

CelticPromise · 11/02/2013 16:16

x post

SorrelForbes · 11/02/2013 16:17

JeffFaFa. On those measurements I'd try a 28F, 28E, 28DD, 30DD and a 30D.

However, I suspect that a 28E or F will be a better fit for you. Make sure you sort the back out first before working out the cup size.

SorrelForbes · 11/02/2013 16:23

What SC said Grin