Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To (in the future) give up our bedroom...

101 replies

Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:24

So the children get one each?

We have 3 children, and 3 bedrooms. No chance of getting more/adding more!

Children or bedrooms Wink

The boys share , they are 14 and 9. They don't get on at all. Our 14 yrs old is very mature for his age both in stature and mentally. Our 9 yrs old , is just 9 ...annoying to our other son. The room is not large, and is dominated by the bunk-beds and computer stuff (my son builds them)

I feel that our 9 yr old never gets any space for himself, a place to invite friends etc...he is a very sociable boy and I think he would really like a place of his own.

Our other child is a four yr old girl.

I'd like to buy a really decent sofa-bed and keep a wardrobe in our dd's room.
Its quite spacious.

I wouldn't miss a bedroom for a few years, in fact I think we would get more space as the 9 yr old would have a room to use/enjoy.

The boys are like chalk and cheese, and I think the age difference is very marked.

Has anyone done this? AIBU to think it would work? I'm hoping it just might? :)

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 06/02/2013 12:26

No and wouldn't consider it for a minute. Nothing wrong with kids sharing rooms imo.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/02/2013 12:26

So where will you sleep, in the lounge?

I dunno, your decision but personally I think you should encourage your 2 boys to get along and to share nicely rather than just give up your bedroom. You are just allowing the rift to get even bigger??? Can their room not be sectioned off or anything- is it big enough for a stud wall to go up rather than you have to lose your room?

I wouldn't to be honest but I am sure there are loads who have done it and it turned out fine.

Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:27

vallium you haven't met my kids Wink

The eldest is like a man already!

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/02/2013 12:28

When DH was a kid he shared a room with 2 brothers....so there was one of 13, one of 5 and one of 3!

Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:28

Yes, we would sleep in the lounge.

I'm thinking it would be easier on 'play dates' for the 9 yr old, he'd have space too!

There is the option of dividing up the room I guess?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 06/02/2013 12:29

Isn't that part of being in a family, getting on with people even though they piss you off sometimes most of the time?

Tryharder · 06/02/2013 12:29

Could the younger 2 share for a few years, perhaps?

But no reason why your plan wouldn't work as long as your DH is on board.

I have 3 DCs and 3 bedrooms as well so my boys share but they do get on (most of the time) and are younger.

We are saving for a loft extension Smile

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/02/2013 12:30

Well, either divide up the room or make them share nicely (ish) What message are you giving them if you give your room up and sleep in the lounge. They will know you are def bottom of the food chain :)

FelicityWasCold · 06/02/2013 12:31

I wouldn't. But I'd consider making the 4year old and 9 year old share.

By the time the 9 year old is 13 the current 14 year old would be 18 and hopefully, maybe possibly moving out?

MrsKeithRichards · 06/02/2013 12:31

I know people that have done this and it didn't last long!

Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:33

Vallium, so true. I wish it could work for us. The boys are in such different points in their lives. We are not well off, its as if (in my mind) I'm giving them 'space' as opposed to other things.

Our youngest is so sociable, and the 14yr old is an introvert who likes to unwind and be alone. The youngest only has the top of his bunk to call his own, and I want him to be able to have friends over...without the 14 yr old glaring at him!

I take your point-thanks :)

OP posts:
littleblackno · 06/02/2013 12:33

Have you got a lounge/dinner that could be split to make a bedroom? OK you may lose the dining room but a least you'd still have your space to sleep. I think it sounds ok if your kids really can share and no other room is big enough to split. But I do think you would miss your own space too, especially if you were ill or just wanted a lie in. How would you feel about your friends coming over for a cuppa and sitting in your "bedroom". Depends on the layout of the house I guess. You could try it and see how it works. If you're not happy with it then change back and tough luck on the kids - you still pay the bills!

Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:34

felicity I wanted to make a girly room for dd Blush

OP posts:
littleblackno · 06/02/2013 12:34

or a caravan in the garden - stick him out there for the rest of the winter and see how much he'll compromise on coming back in!!

jumpingjackhash · 06/02/2013 12:34

You seriously wouldn't miss a little space to call your own / get some time to yourself? Do you have a DP/DH?

How do you think your DD will like sharing with mum (with/without DH/DP) - granted she's only 4 at the moment so I could imagine it might be fun for a while, but what about when she wants friends to play or stay over?

Do you have a loft you might be able to convert into a bedroom? Or perhaps another room, such as a dining room or sitting room, you could transform?

hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 06/02/2013 12:35

I think you'd seriously regret it, and let ne explain why.

First off, your back will end up buggered by a sofa bed, long term. They're not designed to be slept on every night for years.

Secondly, you as parents need some child free space in your home. Can you honestly commit to sleeping in the living space of the whole family? Having your "bedroom" scattered with toys/books/general day to day clutter with no sanctuary to retreat to?

Thirdly, and most selfishly, if your eldest wants his own space, he can acquire it in just four short years when/if he goes to university or moves out. You are the parents. It is your home that you pay for. I wouldn't be sleeping on the sofa because my eldest couldn't learn to get along with/ignore his slightly annoying younger sibling.

I grew up sharing a bedroom with my two younger brothers until I was 12 and they were 8 and 4. When we moved to a three bed house, they continued to share. Yes, my youngest brother annoyed my middle brother and I, however, it was never up for debate that our parents would sacrifice their bedroom because of that.

sparkle101 · 06/02/2013 12:35

I wouldn't do this. I appreciate having my own space to go off to, where would you take yourself off to if you were ill and needed to go to bed?

valiumredhead · 06/02/2013 12:35

I would look into dividing the room and when younger ds has a play date then ask the older one to stay downstairs in the front room and vice versa.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 06/02/2013 12:36

Presuming your room is bigger couldnt you swap the boys to the biggest room, DD to the smallest and you take the other one.

More space for them might help the problem.

DuchessFanny · 06/02/2013 12:36

Sleep in the lounge ? madness ! i'd never give up my sanctuary bedroom ! my youngest two share a room and yes there is sometimes a massive barny heated discussion or two, but ultimately i think it's good for them to share. Can you section their room easily ? if not you said your daughters room is spacious, could you section that one and move her to their room iyswim ?

Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:36

The living room would really look like a living room. Sofa bed and duvet in a blanket box! see I have it all worked out

I wouldn't mind having friends over in that type of situation.

We are not that in to personal space for us (myself and DH) if the kids are in their rooms ....we will have the living room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feminine · 06/02/2013 12:38

Yes, maybe moving them in to the bigger room would (on reflection) be better?

The boys have never got on Sad its not a new thing. They are beyond different.

OP posts:
Mosman · 06/02/2013 12:39

I wouldn't miss my bedroom at all, i hrdly get the sheets warm these days i'm in it so little time.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/02/2013 12:39

I think as adults we also need our own space to escape to.
You won't have this at all.

They are kids - they should share. I shared with my DS until my late teens and it didn't do us any harm.
Also agree with the others - can't the younger 2 share?

ExitPursuedByABear · 06/02/2013 12:40

My brother and I shared a room until I was 10 and he was 12 - my parents then moved my single bed into their room for a year, until we moved to a larger house. Never really understood why.

I would make your younger two share for a while.

Swipe left for the next trending thread