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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be happy that I am having another son?

66 replies

space21 · 04/02/2013 18:42

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with number two son.

When people ask me what I'm having and I happily say a boy...the main reaction is "oh another boy, what a shame it's not a girl - as that would be perfect"

I'm overjoyed with my 2 boys!

AIBU to slap the next person who says it? Grrrr

....and don't even get me started on "oh good grief look at your bump isn't it huge / too small / too low / too high etc" gah

OP posts:
Perriwinkle · 04/02/2013 18:49

YANBU at all.

Far better to have two of the same sex IMHO.

The silly idiots who say this sort of stuff are the same silly idiots who believe that "only children are lonely children" and "a son is a son until he finds a wife and a daughter's a daughter for the rest of your life" and similar nonsense.

Enjoy your two boys. Grin

themindwonders · 04/02/2013 18:50

i agree - i hear it all the time (am 25 weeks with ds3) as it was said to me, ask them if they mean to be rude, and then smile

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 04/02/2013 18:52

Yanbu! I keep getting told I'm not a real woman til I've had a son. I have two daughters. Seriously don't know where people get off thinking that mums would be anything less than overjoyed and grateful for every child they r blessed with!

Enjoy your ds2

Huge congratulations

:) Thanks

AThingInYourLife · 04/02/2013 18:54

2 the same is ace :)

Babyroobs · 04/02/2013 18:55

I have 3 boys and love it . I also have a girl. People with teenage girls keep on telling me how awful it is and I feel glad to have 3 boys rather than the other way round. On the downside now they are getting older , they are eating me out of house and home and our food bill is astronomical !

MissCalamity · 04/02/2013 18:58

I'm hoping for another boy, when DP finally gets his arse in gear to agree to TTC#2. Although I would still be over the moon with a girl, she would be wearing blue for the first couple of years of her life!!
Congratulations, enjoy your two little boys.

PeggyCarter · 04/02/2013 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LegoAcupuncture · 04/02/2013 19:01

Congatulations.

YANBU. As a mother of three boys, you'll have a great time, ignore the negative comments.

specialsubject · 04/02/2013 19:03

slap away! What is wrong with people?

congratulations and here's to your next baby!

MrsWolowitzerables · 04/02/2013 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 04/02/2013 19:06

YANBU. I have one boy and would love 3!

colleysmill · 04/02/2013 19:09

I was talking about this today with my friend - I can't personally Imagine having another child of a different gender to the one I already have. It's probably ridiculous but im so used to what I've got it might be a shock to the old system! I'm sure I would adapt though :)

Children are bloody great though when you think about it regardless of their gender.

OHforDUCKScake · 04/02/2013 19:18

When I was pregnant with DS1 I didnt mind what I had. After all, Id never had a baby before so I had no idea what to expect, boy or girl.

He was a boy, then I was pregnant with DC1 and I desperately wanted him to be a boy. After all, by this point I knew exactly how amazing, funny, lovely, endearing it was to have a boy. How could I possibly want anything different?

I have two boys. Smile

We have completed our family but if we'd chosen to continue, Id have no qualms about them all coming out boys.

Stonefield · 04/02/2013 19:27

My DP is 34 weeks pregnant with ds2. She is thrilled and really wanted boys. Plus we haven't had to buy anything at all. Gender is no guarantee of personality anyway in my opinion.

Original poster
space21 · 04/02/2013 19:31

caffeinedrip someone really said that you aren't a real woman until you have a son? Shock

I wouldn't dream of ever saying these things!!

So....what's the best way to respond to these comments?

OP posts:
EarlyInTheMorning · 04/02/2013 19:34

@ perriwinkle

Far better to have two of the same sex IMHO.

The silly idiots who say this sort of stuff

Ahem

Flobbadobs · 04/02/2013 19:34

A nice 'fuck off' with a smile on your face? Grin
I have 3, 1 boy and 2 girls. I had loads of comments about all 3. When it was a boy we got 'shame it's not a girl' and vice versa! Being serious though a vague "well we're very happy and excuse yourself should do it.
Congratulations x

LynetteScavo · 04/02/2013 19:39

YANBU.

I wanted 3 sons.

Strangers seemed completely thrilled for me that DC3 was a girl. Confused

Friends told me "You don't need to have any more DC now you have girl." As if the main aim of having children was to produce a girl. Confused

HandlebarTash · 04/02/2013 19:44

yanbu AT ALL.

Next time, say 'there's only room for one princess in my house and that's me' Grin it's a stupid response, but then it's to a a stupid statement.

FantasticMax · 04/02/2013 19:44

How rude some people can be!!! Although, I have to admit, whenever I hear that some people have a boy and a girl, I do think "Ah, that's nice". But only because I think it'd be wonderful to experience raising both a son and a daughter. But I would never express sorrow for someone having two (or more) of the same gender, ridiculous!

thebody · 04/02/2013 19:46

I had 2 boys close together, 10 year age gap and then 2 girls close together.

All unique and wonderful and PEOPLE..

Pregnant women just have to get used to all this shite unfortunately, smile and nod and ignore.

juneau · 04/02/2013 19:47

No, not at all. I was DELIGHTED to have a second son. Both DH and I had a slight preference for a second boy and DS1 really wanted a brother, so we were all over the moon. Two boys is fab!

PretzelTime · 04/02/2013 19:52

Why should you be unreasonable? It's great that you love your son and that your future one is wanted. As long as you aren't hatin on girls, what's the problem?

Minty82 · 04/02/2013 19:55

Where'smycaffeinedrip - I'm completely gobsmacked at the 'you're not a real woman till you have a son' comment. And at the notion that more than one person has said that to you!

OP - YANBU at all. I think people just say it on autopilot as a stock response, in the same way as they'd say 'oh how lovely, one of each' if it was a girl, but it's completely bizarre for a stock response to baby news to be anything but positive. I have a girl and I'd be a bit sad if she didn't get to have a sister, as I have such fantastic relationships with my own (though it would be great to have a boy too of course talking myself into having three children). So I'd be completely thrown if anyone had the audacity to be disappointed for me if I had another girl!

Writehand · 04/02/2013 19:58

I was thrilled to have 2 DSs. My DDSD love her to bits was v insecure at the time, and I was so pleased she'd still be Daddy's princess, a role that meant so much to her. Boys weren't anything like as much as a threat. They bonded really well, really fast.

That was my initial reason. Now I've got 2 teenage DSs I'm very happy because I had 2 younger brothers and it turns out I've got a way with teenage boys. I gather that teenage girls can be very hard work. I was a nightmare I'm ashamed to remember what a little cow I was. Boys can be very hard work too, but generally speaking they're quite straightforward. A bit like puppies sometimes they don't resent being bollocked as long as it feels fair to them. At least they don't get bitchy, which most people's DDs seem to at that age,