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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be happy that I am having another son?

66 replies

space21 · 04/02/2013 18:42

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with number two son.

When people ask me what I'm having and I happily say a boy...the main reaction is "oh another boy, what a shame it's not a girl - as that would be perfect"

I'm overjoyed with my 2 boys!

AIBU to slap the next person who says it? Grrrr

....and don't even get me started on "oh good grief look at your bump isn't it huge / too small / too low / too high etc" gah

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 04/02/2013 21:01

Is dd alright Megatron? It is possible your MIL is related to mine. The woman who shortly afer ds2 died and after my inglorious sucessions of miscarriages announced how relieved she was that SIL1 "could perform". . I am a Christian; I have tried to forgive. doesn't stop her being a bitch

RubyrooUK · 04/02/2013 21:02

Megatron - that's mad.

My ex's mum was like that. His sister was a gem and while he was lovely, she was far more thoughtful and good to her parents. Yet she adored my ex and told me that there was something special between mums and sons that her daughter couldn't compete with.

As the mother of son(s), I think my ex's mum is a fucking loon. Who chose to diminish the relationship with one of her children over a crazy gender bias. Why would you do that?

Hope your DD is fine now.

LittlePicnic · 04/02/2013 21:02

Rubyroo- second time around people seemed less interested for us and I found it really upsetting. Particularly a few days after the birth when I just felt so sad that people were just less interested. I don't think it had anything to do with gender, just birth order and made me sad. He is such a Lovely little boy too!

Minty82 · 04/02/2013 21:06

Am so outraged by Megatron's and marriedinwhite's MILs that I can't quite believe it. How could either of them possibly expect to have any kind of normal relationship with you again after saying something so mindblowingly disgusting?! Really hope your DD's ok, and I'm so so sorry married.

RubyrooUK · 04/02/2013 21:07

Thanks LittlePicnic.

Luckily my mum (who once drove me mad saying how she always imagined I'd have girls as we are so close) has come up trumps. She is so excited about DS2 she has spent weeks sewing for the new baby - I cannot tell you how uncrafty she is normally - and making DS1 special presents for being a big brother. She is alight with joy, so definitely makes up for a more muted reaction from others.

shesariver · 04/02/2013 21:09

I am also the Mum of 3 boys, and yes Ive had a fair share of inane stupid comments such as "of thats a shame 3 boys - it would have been better if at least 1 was a girl eh"...I mean do they expect me to agree with them! And to the often asked "aww wouldnt you have liked a girl" question - seriously..what do they expect me to say, its not as if we get to choose is it!

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass · 04/02/2013 21:09

YADNBU!

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd son (I have an almost 2 year old boy already) and I am over the moon! I couldn't imagine ever having a girl now and I don't want one.

zipzap · 04/02/2013 21:11

When I was expecting ds2 and people used to say silly things like that to me, I'd just say that actually I was hoping for a kitten. Or a lamb. Or a baby elephant. (actually, scrap the elephant - much too long a gestation and oooouch! :o)

It was such a silly thing to say that it stopped people in their tracks - and made them realise that what they were saying was pretty silly too...

MerylStrop · 04/02/2013 21:12

People just say the most insane things, and it is all to do with projecting their own feelings.

Don't let them wind you up OP

Kveta · 04/02/2013 21:14

I have a friend who is expecting her second boy, and is openly devastated.

But when I was pg with DC2 everyone, but everyone, said you must be hoping for a girl this time, girls are better, easier, nicer etc and Dh heard the you're not a man until you have a daughter! I was so upset by it all, I used to cuddle DS tight and hope for a second boy.

DD is fab though, so I suspect gender is ultimately irrelevant at the baby age, and you fall in love with your own baby without noticing their genitals too much.

louisianablue2000 · 04/02/2013 21:23

YANBU, two of the same is fab. I have two DDs, my brother has two DS. They are all great!

SnowHOHOboarder · 04/02/2013 22:00

I have 2 boys - they are completely wonderful and like chalk and cheese. DS2 is only 7 mo but you can already see they adore each other. I couldn't be happier to have two of the same. I'd have 4 sons if I could!

Congratulations. Boys get a bad press sometimes but honestly, they're wonderful!!

Original poster

space21 · 04/02/2013 22:02

Girl or boy I would be overjoyed - it's just the absurdity of the comments that wind me right up!!
Think I will try a shocked and offended face next time and I'm sure there will be a next time ...

megatron and married - I'm outraged your MIL even thought those things let alone say them aloud

OP posts:

amazingmumof6 · 04/02/2013 22:08

space21 when my DS4 was a newborn someone asked what we had, I said another boy, grinning proudly. she said, oh what a shame it would have been nice to have a girl.

I'm glad I don't remember who it was, because I'd haunt the bastard.

after that I had a MC (a girl) so when I was pg with DS5 I just could not hold back any more.
every time some one said " are you hoping for a girl?" or " I hope it's a girl this time!" I'd just reply that having been pg with a girl who died before she was born, I don't give a flying monkey's left bollock whether it's a boy or a girl as long as it's a healthy baby.

that shut them up.......

we actually have a DD now after 5 boys and I can not tell you how many people say - "oh FINALLY you have your little girl!"
...like I could choose either way?
or as if the sole reason for us to "keep going" as they put it so delicately was to have a daughter!
what idiotic brain leak is that? as if every time we had a son we went, oh well, not good enough, let's try again.... grrrrrrrrrr

what is wrong with having any number of kids of the same sex? or a mix of them? who the fuck cares?

I wish people like that just shut up and mind their own business!

BTW congrats on baby number 2! YANBU

Megatron · 04/02/2013 22:57

Sorry, should have said thank thank God DD recovered and is just grand now. I didn't have to say anything to her at the time because the rather wonderful ICU nurse who was also there promptly turfed her out of the room. She said afterwards that I hadn't heard her properly but I know I did. We have no relationship really now and I don't want one either. Anyway OP big congratulations!

andubelievedthat · 04/02/2013 23:04

you be happy happy happy !!! new life , boy or girl >>>fab ! well done you! hope it goes great for you!

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