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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that Chris Huhne's son was very wrong to call him 'autistic'

357 replies

Sallyingforth · 04/02/2013 17:03

He is may be an unpleasant creature but that word should never be used as an insult.
order-order.com/2013/02/04/peter-huhnes-texts-to-lying-father/

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 21:08

Im glad its had a positive affect on how you view things desertgirl, really I am.

I get people misunderstanding, what I find unacceptable is when they go out of their way to be nasty about things like autism, there is a lot of that and Im not sure 'educating' people like that makes a difference.

Not everyone is as open minded as you have been on reading about it.

Zavi · 04/02/2013 21:19

I think there is a general perception - amongst those uneducated about exactly what autism is - that it describes someone who "doesn't get it".

In my view, that's what Peter Huhne probably meant when he described his father using those terms.

I don't think he meant to offend anyone with a disability.

I've been quite shocked actually by how offensive some contributors to this thread have found his comments.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 21:23

I'm sure he didn't.
I'm sure actual people with autism didn't cross his mind.
I don't think anyone is suggesting otherwise.

JoanByers · 04/02/2013 21:24

He is telling his father to think more about others.

His words weren't ideal, but they were not intended for publication.

limitedperiodonly · 04/02/2013 21:29

It is not acceptable. It is understandable.

Autistic should not be shorthand for 'person with no understanding of the feelings of others'.

I would like to work towards that. Would you?

NcNcNcNc · 04/02/2013 21:29

Would just like to say that reading threads on MN has been very, very helpful in my current position of having a dd with (waiting to be diagnosed, possible) autism/aspergers. It has helped me immensely and changed my crap understanding/feelings/ill educated spouting no end.

I know you shouldn't have to educate but I for one am very thankful that you did Smile

CommunistLegoBloc · 04/02/2013 21:31

So it's alright to be privately racist, disabilist, sexist etc? Genuine question. Don't see how such ignorance would be an entirely private affair. If you're prepared to call someone autistic as an insult, I'll bet my bottom dollar that you'll call someone a retard or a spaz as a 'lighthearted' remark.

Real people, with actual autism couldn't have been further from his mind. That's almost worse. Chuck out an insult without the blindest bit of knowledge on the subject or the actual people involved. They can't have feelings, right?!

http://jezebel.com/5954589/special-olympian-with-down-syndrome-writes-awesome-open-letter-to-ann-coulter-about-her-use-of-retard is an interesting bit to read on the use of disabilist terms as insults.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 21:35

Its not acceptable, no. I understand that he used the term in ignorance, yes. I disagree that its understandable that he used it, because to me, that is saying well, he was angry, its understandable.
And yes, I would love to see a time when casual low level use of disablist language was not understandable no matter how upset you were.
Working towards it -each and every conversation we have like this is working towards it.

Spero · 04/02/2013 21:37

I agree with desert girl. You don't have to educate. You don't have to campaign. You don't have to do anything. But I think it is sad to keep reading the eff off and google you ignoramus type posts. That doesn't take anyone any further forward.

If you have the time and the energy to contribute to this debate what is so weird about suggesting you take your energy further forward into other arenas and get the message further out?

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 21:39

Spero maybe we don't have the time or energy to take it further?

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 21:40

You obviously have no idea how fucking depressing this is.

limitedperiodonly · 04/02/2013 21:43

I say it's understandable because some people misunderstand the term. I agree that conversations like this one will help them not to.

Being unwilling or unable to understand why people say or do the things they do, and not to encourage them to change, is perhaps less helpful. Which is ironic, given the nature of autism.

Spero · 04/02/2013 21:44

Fair enough. But don't slap it down as a weird or crass idea. The response on twitter to RG - thinking of Nicky Clarke in particular - seemed to have a big and positive impact.

I really don't know what else we have in our armoury, other than getting the message out. I was knackered this evening and m daughter had a play date - her little friend saw my leg and was all 'eurrg! That's horrible!' That was actually quite upsetting, but I didn't tell her to get out and go and educate herself, I let her touch it and ask questions. She still said 'eurrrgg' but I hope I have planted a tiny seed and the next time she meets a physical disabled person she won't be quite so horrified.

And by the way, I don't think she has been 'taught to hate'. It does look weird if you are not used to it.

desertgirl · 04/02/2013 21:45

Amber - is there anything (other than a magic wand, obviously) which would make it less depressing?

Paiviaso · 04/02/2013 21:47

I agree with angeltulips reading of the texts - the son says several times, "You just don't get it do you" before telling his dad he's an "autistic piece of shit". If the son just wanted to insult him, "piece of shit" would suffice; the addition of the word autistic tries to hammer home how uncomprehending his dad seemed to be about the level of anger his son was feeling (even if his use of the word is incorrect).

But really, I can't believe their is a topic criticizing the PC-ness of a private text conversation between a very angry teenager and his philandering father. Only on Mumsnet.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 21:50

You think this is about political correctness?

desertgirl · 04/02/2013 21:52

Paiviaso, would you call it 'criticizing the PCness' if the word used was 'retarded'?

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 22:01

desertgirl, thank you.

Not sure really, its a big world out there and it can seem relentless trying to put things out there as it were.

I have a thick skin, but sometimes it does seem pointless, but not for long!

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 22:15

Spero, I didn't slap it down.

Spero · 04/02/2013 22:26

Ok, maybe too harsh a phrase.

The whole ignorance, fear, hatred, contempt, about disability is depressing. All that can be done is shine a little light. No one is obligated. But ignorance doesn't diminish without a push.

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 22:29

I am always pushing.

Too much some say, but I won't stop.

SirIronBottom · 04/02/2013 22:34

I disapprove of the son's language in general. That's not the way to talk to family, even if they have done what Chris Huhne did.

TapselteerieO · 04/02/2013 22:47

Defending the indefensible that is what I see the apologists doing on this thread, I haven't read the whole thread but the more I read the angrier I get. I haven't actually read any of the texts/articles, but the use of the word autistic as a word of hate makes my blood boil. And yes I think it is worth discussing no matter who said it.

Spero · 04/02/2013 22:59

Who has said it isn't worth discussing?