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Original poster

to think that Chris Huhne's son was very wrong to call him 'autistic'

357 replies

Sallyingforth · 04/02/2013 17:03

He is may be an unpleasant creature but that word should never be used as an insult.
order-order.com/2013/02/04/peter-huhnes-texts-to-lying-father/

OP posts:
DameMargotFountain · 04/02/2013 19:42

there's a massive difference between using a word in error than to using one as an insult

and so if the lad was using the term he chose to reflect the shortcomings in his father's response, then he was most definitely using it as an insult

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 19:44

Yes, it would have been better.

Don't get me started on rg.
Or that sack of shit frankie boyle!

I'm not up for tarring and feathering the kid, but I don't do degrees of disablist, racist or sexist language.
I'm an 'it's right or it's wrong' woman.

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:44

Spero

It is very clear from the tone of the texts that he meant it as an insult.

Spero · 04/02/2013 19:46

Yes, an insult to a perceived shortcoming in his father's emotional makeup. Or at least that is how I read it, I could be completely off base.

Hecate, if you don't do 'degrees' are you saying that PH and RG deserve equal condemnation? That is what I find difficult. In terms of educating and communicating with people, I don't think that will help. From my perception, he is a million miles away from Gervais, Boyle and all that ilk.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 19:47

I am sure he wasnt setting out to cause harm and pain. I don't think that for a second. I have no reason either to think that he hates people with autism.

Its simply that when he was looking for a word to describe how revolting his father is - that's the word he chose. Because he sees autism as those qualities he hates in his father.

It simply highlights that people need to understand what autism is and what it most certainly is not.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 19:49

I don't do degrees of acceptable disablist, racist or sexist language, no. I think the only acceptable level is zero. There is no 'ok' level, imo.

Spero · 04/02/2013 19:50

I wonder if this issue will be addressed by any journalists? That's one wa to get the message out. Or will they be too busy frothing about all the Jeremy Kyle deliciousness of a family in pain. I won't hold my breath wondering.

echt · 04/02/2013 19:50

I read it as a reference to his father's emotional disengagement.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 19:51

I don't see my children as having a shortcoming in their emotional makeup. That's not what autism is.

SamG76 · 04/02/2013 19:51

I'm with Spero on this. The poor lad may be friendly with lots of autistic people, and be suggesting that his undiagnosed father lies somewhere on the spectrum.

I have read quite a lot on this subject, and there seems to be a decent case that lack of empathy is a feature of autistic conditions, though sufferers often lack cognitive rather than affective empathy. This means that if they did spot that another person was upset, it could affect them a lot, but they might not work it out, because they had missed the social cues.

DameMargotFountain · 04/02/2013 19:52

can i face palm now please

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:52

Im sure in sending his father that text he wasnt setting out to cause harm or pain to anyone other than his father, but now that it is public, it has upset people.

It wasn't meant to be public, but he still said it so I dont understand how the sentiment behind it can be defended?

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:54

My autistic child isn't emotionally disengaged.

CommunistLegoBloc · 04/02/2013 19:54

It doesn't matter if he was using it because he had made a hackneyed diagnosis of autism for his father. The fact is he used it as an insult, as the worst possible thing he could think so call him.

He might think that people with autism lack empathy (wrong) and therefore leveled it as a term of abuse against his father. So he used it both ignorantly and as an insult. Wrong wrong wrong.

Pagwatch · 04/02/2013 19:55

Oh please.
I have said I think he s probably clueless rather than malicious. But he wasn't pondering whether a level of emotional disengagement may lie at the root of his difficulties with his father and suggesting he may appear somewhere on the spectrum.

He was furious and spitting insults (deservedly and rather painfully) at his dad and he reached for autistic as an insult.

I get that some people don't make the connection. But let's not pretend it was intended as anything other than to offend and hurt his father.

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:55

The poor lad may be friendly with lots of autistic people, and be suggesting that his undiagnosed father lies somewhere on the spectrum

Ha! do you really read what he said as some sort of helpful nod towards his father having undiagnosed autism?

Really?

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 19:56

Neither are mine, amber.

I am not trying to fight with anyone. I just think it shows that more is needed re autism awareness.

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:57

Also if he is friendly with lots of autistic people, I doubt very much that he would use autistic in that context.

CommunistLegoBloc · 04/02/2013 19:57

If somebody did something stupid, and their child called them 'a retarded piece of shit' or said they acted like someone with Down's Syndrome, or called them a 'mong', would that be okay? Because doing stupid things and having a disability are automatically synonymous? So it's okay to use a derogatory term which insults disabled people to describe their actions?

Being emotionally withdrawn and being autistic are not synonymous.

AmberLeaf · 04/02/2013 19:58

Yes, I think lots of people have the wrong idea of what autism is, That isnt their fault, as you say, more awareness is needed.

DameMargotFountain · 04/02/2013 19:58

well done him then, for raising awareness during a fucking argument with his father Hmm

absolutely unbelievable

Spero · 04/02/2013 19:58

I am not defending the sentiment. I am pointing out he is not as bad as someone who deliberately uses hateful words to be provocative and encourages others to do the same.

Just one quick google of 'autism' tells me 'the hallmark of ASD is impaired social interaction'. Those of us who do not know people with autism will only know what we are told. Education and communication tend to be lost in condemnation.

But we can argue pointlessly over whether he wanted to find the most hateful word possible or whether he was making a point about his father's inappropriate emotional response to his pain. Why not write to one of the newspapers and make the points made here, get the message out. Help people understand.

DameMargotFountain · 04/02/2013 19:59

am backing out now, seeing how supposedly enlightened people really think upsets me, every time

thanks to those of you who do understand Thanks

TandB · 04/02/2013 20:02

I would imagine that the thing that is hurting parents of children with autism is not that this person threw it out as an insult when he was in a very bad place indeed, but that it was even there for him to use as an insult, ie it is in common enough use as an insult for him to think it was a suitably hurtful thing to say.

If it wasn't in common use and this one young man had picked it at random, it would presumably be unpleasant, but not quite so soul-destroying. It's the fact that so many people think that mental health/learning disability/autistic spectrum conditions provide a ready stock of insults that is the problem.

CommunistLegoBloc · 04/02/2013 20:02

Impaired social interaction does not equal emotional disengagement.