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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to flounce my current church...

122 replies

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 03:55

and to point out to them that praying for LGBT couples be denied marriage like everyone else and that they should be happy with civil unions is akin to telling African Americans in the 50's to be happy they got their own water fountain?

And also want to tell them what a pile of fucking hypocrits they are?

OP posts:

BuntyCollocks · 04/02/2013 03:56

YANBU. knobs.

Original poster

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 03:57

Love the name, Bunty!!!!!

OP posts:

MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 04/02/2013 04:00

What bunty said.

Original poster

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 04:03

I had to walk out in the middle of the service: I just couldn't listen for a second longer to reanting about 'love' and 'protecting children' and being there for those who don't have the benefit of family 'the widowed and orphaned' guess single parent's don't fall into their little perfect plan either.... blah blah blah. Protecting children!?!?! From what? I'm protecting my child...by not taking him back to what I've shockingly found out to be a toxic environment.

Now I have to find a new church...with an active children's ministry (as requested by DS) shouldn't be too hard....right?

OP posts:

Anna1976 · 04/02/2013 05:52

Cripes. What total nutters.

Where are you? What denomination is this? Not for naming and shaming purposes - but for example among the Anglicans there is a fairly big split between churches where that would be utterly unacceptable, and churches where that kind of sentiment would be regarded as right and proper. Anyone with some level of radar should be able to say "oh, yes St X's is a bit like that, why don't you try St Y's up the road, they're much more [enlightened/ family-friendly/ family-unfriendly/ lentil weaving hippy... depending how you want to see it]".

MrsToddsShortcut · 04/02/2013 07:26

Sorry, just to clarify. The church led a prayer where they wished for LGBT couples to be denied marriage and be happy with civil unions? Did I understand that right??

MrsToddsShortcut · 04/02/2013 07:27

Oh, and well done for walking out!

lalabaloo · 04/02/2013 07:31

No YANBU, it upsets me that this viewpoint is presented by some churches as the norm, as if all Christians agree with this. Good luck finding a new church, are you in an area with a few to choose from?

CabbageLeaves · 04/02/2013 07:33

Had same issue in my church - I stood up and confronted the minister. I have stayed because there are a group of us who feel that way and are standing up for it. It doesn't affect my Christian faith. It affects how I feel about a building and the attendees.

My church was far less in your face and more contemplative but with an undercurrent of what you describe.

AuntLucyInPeru · 04/02/2013 07:38

I would definitely have WORDS to say about that. Some of them quite long ones...

Pendipidy · 04/02/2013 07:41

A lot of Christians believe that.

ImAlpharius · 04/02/2013 07:44

And a lot don't.

firesidechat · 04/02/2013 07:44

You might not share their view on marriage, but they are as entitled to their view as you are to yours. Like it or not the issue of marriage, as opposed to civil partnership, is difficult for some christians and some churches.

I don't go to church any more for various reasons and would probably have been uncomfortable too about the prayers you mention.

HoratiaWinwood · 04/02/2013 07:44

My vicar is taking that line too. He will not see me at a service until the issue is resolved.

I think people who aren't religious don't realise how significant it is to leave a church. It isn't like changing supermarkets.

ohfunnyhoneyface · 04/02/2013 07:48

I would also write a letter expressing how you feel.

Jesus preached love and never excluded anyone. None of the gospels provide any evidence of his denouncing homosexuality. It's ridiculous to hide homophobic views behind religion. It's not a religious view, it's an ignorant one, and has no place in this day and age.

Has anyone seen that clip of the minister who stands and makes a speech denouncing gay marriage and then stops half way through to say he has the wrong notes and what he just read was a speech about the need to continue black/white segregation? It's brilliant. Must find link...

NumericalMum · 04/02/2013 07:57

YABU for going to church. If you must support organised religion then YADNBU for leaving! I was dragged to church once and particularly enjoyed when they escorted the drunk homeless man out for disturbing the service

fromparistoberlin · 04/02/2013 08:06

I know!!!!

I left my old church as mainly they were an unfriendly and insular bunch

but when the head priest did a diatribe on how "god does not want us to be gay" I was almost physically shocked

thanks for posting as you have reinforced I was right to leave

fromparistoberlin · 04/02/2013 08:07

"I think people who aren't religious don't realise how significant it is to leave a church. It isn't like changing supermarkets.

I agree with that. leaving my old church was a MASSIVE trauma, noone understood why I was so distraught!

Tallgiraffe · 04/02/2013 08:11

Come to ours! Of the two ministers, one is in a civil partnership and the other is my DH Seriously though, you will find somewhere sensible and if we all vote with our feet by only attending forwar thinking churches then the jokes will have to close or change.

Not all Christians are anti-gay or anti-women or whatever else garbage is spouted by a ridiculously small minority. Love thy neighbour...

NeedlesCuties · 04/02/2013 08:17

Umm, sorry, what?

It's a good thing that your church is praying to protect the current marriage laws.

Nothing against gay couples, who have all the same legal protections via their civil unions as straight people have via their marriages.

But the prayers are against the Gov pushing and pushing to push changes through that aren't needed.

If you're a Christian, have you not read Genesis - ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN becoming one flesh through marriage. Jesus did preach that we should love and respect people, including gay people. But.... the practice of gay sex is not Biblical and thus even as modern day churches we should pray against it.

I know I'm going to get flamed to high doe, but I am as shocked at this OP as she/he is with her Vicar.

BalloonSlayer · 04/02/2013 08:17

Our Vicar isn't anti gay but struggles with it as it clearly states in the Bible that marriage is between a man and a woman.

Personally I don't see why that can't be put on the same shelf as "a woman is unclean when she has her period" and "you mustn't eat pork or shellfish" but I haven't studied theology.

Original poster

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 08:23

Needles - glad I shocked you Perhaps it's what you need? It's not for the Church to force their beliefs and values on others - I strongly opposed this in America and I strongly oppose this in the UK. What next? Should we also bring back stoning to death? Because that's hugely popular in several books...Leviticus comes to mind...I certainly hope your family members and friends/neighbours are true believers because if they're not you need to get stone hunting. The word homosexual didn't even exist in Greek/Hebrew....but I overstep my point...it is none of a Christan's/Muslim's/Hindu's etc business to force their personal beliefs on others. Full stop.

OP posts:

CabbageLeaves · 04/02/2013 08:25

Ohfunny. Please an you find a link to that :)

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 04/02/2013 08:26

I am trying to compose a letter to the Bish to ask what I should do. I can hardy bear to go to church at the moment but I can't not either. My PP is an especially bigoted man and to make things worse other members of the parish keep giving little announcements at the end. A few weeks ago it was about how 'they' are responsible for abortion as 'they' are destroying marriage so there isn't a safe place to raise children. Yesterday was how 'they' are winning in a marriage poll on an MPs website and we must all vote no otherwise 'we' will lose. (incidently, the MPs poll is now being won by the 'no' camp).

I can't talk to my PP as in addition to being a bigot, he is not to bright and on the sauce. He is deeply unpopular even with those who share his views.

I am going to ask the Bishop what there is within the diocese for LGBT Catholics because right now I am effectively being excluded within my own parish. I am a firm believer that you should attend your own parish rather than shop around but I don't know how longer I can do that as I have to brace myself before I walk through the door.

Original poster

trustissues75 · 04/02/2013 08:28

And also..I guess Rosa Parks should have been glad that she at least had a designated seat on the bus? Or that there were at least schools for blacks? of hell...damned ungrateful people...we let them live on our plantation for free damnit!!!!

Why should people who are 'different' have less civil liberties than the next person? Why are people so threatened by it? What IS the threat?

It's bollocks.

OP posts:

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