to not go to a close friends wedding?

[JadoreDior]

We have been friends since school and still see each other 2-4 times a month. Anyway she is getting married this year, it is an extremely small wedding. The only people invited to the ceremony are immediate family only and then they have invited close friends and their partners to have a meal afterwards.

She has sent me a text today to let me know the date, and they have decided to do it on a Friday, which means I will have to use my holiday time off work which is really precious to me as we are booking a summer holiday and also over Christmas we are going away and spending it with family.

There also wouldn't be any point of me going after work because the meal is at 3 and then people are just having drinks etc - there won't be a disco or anything kind of entertainment so I'm assuming people won't be staying that long after the meal is over.

Also I'm not invited to the ceremony (which is fine I understand why I'm not) but it would mean me losing a days holiday to just go to a meal.

aibu to not want to go?

Well it seems odd to me also that a good friend wouldn´t be invited to the ceremony.

As I put earlier, I´d be gutted as to me it´s-er, well what the day is all about!

Brides can't win in here though. I know a few ceremonies that have been family only and friends when to the whole day apart from that. What's the big deal? It's better than asking them to the service and saying but I'm not paying for your meal.

I'd book a half day off for shops friend for a multitude of reasons, all this begrudgy shit I just don't get it.

Well for me, I wanted everyone I cared about there when I took my vows.

Everyone is different. There are many reasons why people might not think the same.

Yes we are all different-which is why some would happily go to the meal, some would grudgingly go and some not go at all

I just can't imagine if its proper actual good friend getting all sweaty about a few hours off going for a meal.

But I can´t imagine a good friend being specifically not invited to the ceremony.

So as OP has put-it´s a day´s holiday for a meal.

Sounds to me as if she´s disappointed & perhaps thinks she´s not as good a friend to the bride as she thought she was?

Op says its fine she understands why she's not invited to ceremony. So there seems a valid reason.

Therefore no need for begrudgy nonsense. If the meals at three she could probably wangle working through her lunch and making up the time I would say.

Miffy nonsense I tell you!

Yes, but still doesn´t mean she isn´t disappointed.

I know I would be-but hopefully I´d also care enough to want to celebrate her wedding day.

Good! I've done loads for friends weddings been on hen dos all over stuffed baby tomatoes with cream cheese, worn mingy bridesmaid dresses.

If I get any nonsense when I get married there will be moider!

You don't sound like a close friend OP if a days annual leave is worth more to you than wishing her well on her wedding day.