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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is a good thing that dh goes to kids parties whilst I tidy?

26 replies

Beendonebeen · 03/02/2013 12:34

Dh and I split attending parties for our 3 dc which I have always been grateful for. It means I get time in the house to tidy when he does the party duty. However this morning when a friend asked why I wasn't at the party and dh said I was tidying, the friend sneered and insinuated that he was lazy leaving me to tidy. Now dh is refusing to do any more parties. So is Aibu?

OP posts:
CailinDana · 03/02/2013 12:35

Huh? You're saying your DH, a grown adult, lets others judge how he should run his life?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 03/02/2013 12:45

FGS! Nobody else's business. Just get on with doing what works for you both. Ignore stupid comment at the party.

Leeds2 · 03/02/2013 12:48

It really isn't anybody else's business. But if your DP doesn't want to do any more parties, then surely he has to stay home and do the housework?

Joiningthegang · 03/02/2013 12:52

I love dh doing parties while I tidy.

Yabu to even consider anything your friend said

chocoluvva · 03/02/2013 12:54

It sounds like an arrangement that works for you.

How does your DH feel about doing to the parties?

TrinityRhino · 03/02/2013 12:55

dont let your dh even give it a second thought

the arrangement is suiting you both

it has nothing to do with anyone else

Jinsei · 03/02/2013 12:57

It's your decision between you and DH, none of your "friend's" business.

But out of interest, does DH tidy when you're on party duty?

digerd · 03/02/2013 13:10

What a nasty/tactless friend, or perhaps it was meant as a tease/joke.?
Children's parties can be loud and exhausting < usually are> and you had all that time to yourself and theraputic cleaning in peace and quiet.
That friend was being ignorant in the literal sense - you had it easier than DH did imo< grin>
So sorry DH took it to heart and had his pride hurt. You've now got to suffer all the < insufferable> parties < sad for you face>

dexter73 · 03/02/2013 13:22

I would much rather be at home tidying up than going to childrens parties, so YADNBU!!

Cherriesarelovely · 03/02/2013 13:25

Take no notice. I would much rather be tidying than going to kids parties. When you are a couple you share jobs, why do people feel the need to make these little jibes, so unecessary!

LadyMargolotta · 03/02/2013 13:26

TBH, I'm surprised that there are so many parties to warrant a special arrangement!

But of course YABU. You should have a cup of coffee and put your feet up rather then tidyingWink

MrsKeithRichards · 03/02/2013 13:27

Did someone really insinuate anything? How does one go about insinuating that someone is lazy? She sneered? Sorry but I have a have a hard time believing shit like this goes on.

MammaTJ · 03/02/2013 16:20

I go to the parties while my DP stays home and tidies. I think he has the better end of the deal.

SamuelWestsMistress · 03/02/2013 16:55

My DH never does parties! He sometimes tidies though, if he has to.

LeftMeInSuspenders · 03/02/2013 16:57

DH always does parties if he's not working. I hate them with a passion.
Can't say I spend my time tidying though. Wink

SneezySnatcher · 03/02/2013 17:01

How strange. It's the children invited to the party, not the adult, so why on earth should both parents attend?

This is what DH and I do too, unless it's a family/close friend's child. One of us stays home and one of us tidies. Recently it's been DH's job to go to most parties as they've all been at soft play areas and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I stay home and nap tidy up.

BertieBotts · 03/02/2013 17:06

God I'd love it if I had this arrangement!

But I agree the strange thing is that he suddenly doesn't want to do it after one comment!

BackforGood · 03/02/2013 17:26

Why on earth would he want to change his behaviour because of this woman's strange comments ?

How old are the dc ? Just wondering why there is so much staying at parties, rathr than dropping and collecting.

Trills · 03/02/2013 17:45

Some people are very unimaginative and cannot understand that other people like different things to them.

You will find that there are many people in the world who think like this - they imagine that everyone likes the same things they like and dislikes the same things they dislike, in many cases they think that anyone holding another opinion is simply wrong.

It's generally best not to be be "friends" with these people unless you do agree with them on every single issue where there is more than one possible opinion.

knackeredmother · 03/02/2013 17:47

We did this today but I went to sleep. Oops. House is still a tip. We toss a coin to see who will go.

Tailtwister · 03/02/2013 17:49

We also did the same this morning! It's a division of labour and works well.

cory · 03/02/2013 18:02

When dc were of the partying age, I always used to skulk in the kitchen doing the food and drinks whilst dh ran the actual party. I always knew who was being lazy though Blush

13Iggis · 03/02/2013 20:55

Sounds like she was just making conversation. She must have assumed 'tidying' was the short straw, meaning lucky dh gets to go to the parties. Though tbh it does seem unfair if you are always doing housework while he stands about bored/chats/eats jelly or whatever, and gets to be the 'fun' parent.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/02/2013 21:13

Depends on how it was said,I agree.
DH and I used to share the party going (alot depended too on where it was, DH doesn't drive. And what the weather was like getting to and from)

But if I was chatting to one of the dads and asked "Where's your wife"
And he says "Oh, she's at home, tidying"
I might reply "Oooh,you skiver "!

Doesn't imply he's lazy Confused Just a cheeky comment Wink

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/02/2013 21:15

Beendone your DH is probably refusing to do more parties because they are (in all honesty) the Seventh Circle of Hell Grin
And he's using this as an excuse .