To think that DM has gone too far this time.

[ModreB]

My DM has issues. She lacks responsibility, common sense, is selfish, only thinks of herself.

Yesterday I spent the morning with her, at a Police Station, while she was questioned under caution after being accused of taking advantage of another person, who was her friend, at the complex she lives at. The other person is now sadly deceased.

Can I say now that I believe that she is completely innocent, she might be a silly stupid old bat, but she is honest.

She had been going to the cashpoint for this other person, drawing out money using their PIN and card, then giving the money to them. The family, who visited this person twice in 12 months have made the complaint.

What I cannot forgive is that she confessed that she has also been giving DS3, who is 13 yo that cashcard and PIN to get the cash when she couldn't be bothered to go the cashpoint for her friend. He may now also need to be interviewed by the police about it.

How dare she. How FUCKING dare she implicate my DS in her FUCKING stupidity. I am so cross. How FUCKING dare she.

I took this to be a supported living environment or a warden assisted complex, not a home - therefore more independent and fully capable of making their own decisions.

And I missed the part where the OP refers to her DM as a "known liar"

Many elderly people who live in their own homes are not fully independent or capable of making their own decisions, never mind people who need to live in an assisted living facility.

They can be extremely vulnerable to being ripped off. That's why conmen and fraudsters target them.

Convincing an elderly lady to give you her pin and getting money out for her while disappearing most of it is one of the oldest tricks in the book (well the edition of the book written since ATMs were invented).

At the very best, the OP's mother has been incredibly irresponsible to involve her teenage grandson in something that looks exactly like ripping off an old woman.

If someone had taken £50 a week out of someone else's account, using their PIN, I'd assume they were doing that person a favour.

It's a shame the deceased friend's family couldn't be bothered to make sure she was well looked after whilst she was alive, really.

So your DM was being interviewed under caution and you are angry that she told the truth?

Would you rather see her with a criminal record for attempting to pervert the course of justice?

Have you taught your DS not to take cash out for other people, or when you say DS thinks it's fun to go and get cash from the machine. do you send him to the cash point yourself?

Tell DS if he is arrested not to say a word until he has a lawyer and you present.

The £50 a week thing was invented on this thread.

We don't know how much was taken out and how many withdrawals there were.

And if I found out someone was taking £50 a week from my Granny, I would not presume anything about it being a favour.

Where were her family to help her get her money out? I agree that £2500 over a year is not a lot of money for an old lady to spend, no doubt some of it was sent in birthday cards to said relatives!!!

Yes, I'd be mad at 2 people.
One, your mother for giving your son the card and pin number.
2, your son for not telling you he did this, right away.

But your mother was right for telling the truth. She was wrong to get your son involved in the first place, but had to tell the police, it would have been very suspicious if she didn't.

The family might well have had other arrangements in place to make sure their mother had access to cash.

The missing £2500 might be on top of that.

We don't know, the OP doesn't know, her mother might know, her son might know, the old woman might or might not have known, and the police will try to find out.

But I would not want to be a teenager who had been taking money out of the account of an elderly woman I was not related to.

And I'd be looking for a better explanation than finding ATMs "fun".

fuck! what a mare

OP your son is a minor. so whatever happens, he and you will get through this

xxxxxxxxxxxx

I agree with AThingInYourLife

The police are holding her for some reason. She says she gave the money to the old woman. The family obviously disagree. I'm amazed how many people on this thread totally accepted at face value that the family only visisted twice a year! If that was claimed by the Mother, well, she would, wouldn't she!?

I wouldn't take any of your Mothers story at face value OP, as you said she usually withholds a story until it's wormed out of her so take her spin with a grain of salt.

"I'm amazed how many people on this thread totally accepted at face value that the family only visisted twice a year! If that was claimed by the Mother, well, she would, wouldn't she!?"

I know, right?

The OP's mother has every reason to lie about how often the family visited.

And even if she didn't, it's just 3rd hand information.

My Granny (her again :o) tells anyone who will listen about how she's always on her own and terrible lonely. She lives with her daughter! :o

Thank you for all who replied. I am still furious with DM.

To clarify, the family did only visit twice in a year. It's apparently on the electronic signing in logs at the complex. They had an electronic fob to get in the building, and it is registered to one person and was only used twice in the year.

DM was away for some of the time that the disputed withdrawals were made, and yes some were made after her friend died. So she was in a different town entirely.

However, it also now seems that her friends handbag went missing while she was in hospital.

2 other residents have made statements saying that they witnessed the friend asking DM to go to the machine for her at least once a week, and also have stated that they witnessed DM giving back the card with the cash, the reciept slip and the PIN after she had been to the cash point. DM never held the card for longer than it took to get the cash, it was then returned to the friend.

I have had stern words with DS, and told him that under no circumstances is he to go to a cashpoint for anyone, even if he is asked to do so. I have also had stern words with DM and told her that she has put DS into the situation, especially as I had told her over a year ago that she shouldn't be going to a cash machine for anyone, and if anything she should have taken her friend with her.

I just got so frustated as DM never listens to anyone, no room for disagreement, she just ignores anything that contradicts her own point of view and carries on regardless. I have told her that if she continues the way she is, I will not allow DS to see her unsupervised, which didn't go down well at all.

So I guess DM was bailed pending further enquiries? I hope everyone has watertight alibis for the withdrawals after the death.

Not sure why the families visiting frequency is really relevant, it's poor, but doesn't really add or take anything away from the real issue which is an accusation of theft.

I guess the bank statements will tell the whole story, if multiple small withdrawals were taken out on the same day for example, that would spell trouble.

Like I said earlier. Lawyer up and make sure the boy says nothing to the police without an adult present. No comment is his friend here.

Thing is, if she asked dm she could have asked other people to get her money out too.

Is anyone else struggling with Ajay's logic of inviting Priya back to live with them but without properly explaining this to his teenage daughter who was last seen stabbing mum's clothes with a pair of scissors??

I can see the logic of trying to mend relationships but this just seems to be like chucking oil on a fire!! is that just a plot device for more juicy confrontation scenes by the sad story writers?

Ok...posted that on the wrong thread

Don't even know how I got onto this thread...