Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate hate hate having tiny boobs

157 replies

Alwaysasking · 01/02/2013 17:48

Without a highly padded bra my chest is completely flat - like a bloke. I am relatively small framed but I hate my lack of boobs sooo much. My friends always go on about how 'lucky' I am because big boobs are painful/annoying etc but in reality I would be delighted to have C or even B cups which I don't imagine to be hard to live with!

AIBU to hate having small boobs? I hate that I live in 'Abracadabra Bras', hate that I can't wear a bikini because I look ridiculous. I don't know anyone else as flat as me!

OP posts:
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:17

Yes, the OP should be grateful for a healthy body and so on, and there are people paralysed, but it doesn't stop her hating having very small boobs. Life doesn't work like that.

And all this bollocks about being able to wear pretty clothes etc, is just that - bollocks. When you are very flat chested, you cannot wear the normal pretty tops that others take for granted. They gape. The show ribs and collarbone instead of flesh.

The OP is not talking about being petite or small-breasted. She is talking about being flat chested. It's different.

LindaMcCartneySausage · 01/02/2013 18:19

No, YABNU to feel the way you do. A happy medium is always best.

I've always been pretty big for my build - usually Im a 32E - and its not great (back ache, dresses never fit me) but at 35 weeks pg I'm already in my old nursing bras which are whopping 34H. Hate it :-( God knows what size bras I'll be forced to fork out for when my milk comes in. And after breadtfeeding DS for 12 months and planning to again for DB when he/she arrives, my pair will eventually look like a couple of naan breads stapled to my chest.

TomHardysPinky · 01/02/2013 18:21

YANBU,

I'm thankful I have a healthy body but hate my boobs. I'm allowed to, and so are you, I hate it when people spout 'you should be grateful because you are healthy etc' but theres always somebody worse off no matter how bad you got it, doesn't mean no one should complain or air their negative feelings!

I went from a small B cup at 19 to a EE in pregnancy, boobs went huge, then shrunk after pregnancy.

This happened 4 times.

Now I have small boobs in the very stretchmarked skin of big boobs ... you can imagine how awful that looks :(

Alwaysasking · 01/02/2013 18:21

Yes I am flat chested, and struggle to find clothes I feel comfotable wearing. I am due to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding soon and the other bridesmaids each having boobs bigger than E cup, I am going to feel so unattractive stood next to them. I would love to feel more feminine. I'm too scared to get a boob job, after my nose job I was very poorly so I wouldn't take that risk again.

Also after I had my ds, I was unable to breast feed him as he wasn't gaining weight ad the midwives told me to formula feed, rationally I know this won't have been because of the size of my boobs but for a while I certainly felt as if it was a factor.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 01/02/2013 18:24

YANBU. I'm fairly flat chested and have never wanted them bigger, they would only sag more when I'm old Grin

lljkk · 01/02/2013 18:25

your feelings are your feelings.

BUT, YABU to think it matters. I think your thinking is faulty which is how you got to your unpleasant feelings. It irritates me hugely that women invest so much of their self-esteem in their bra size. I don't want to blame anyone, but it is a wrong wrong wrong situation, however we got to it.

I'm about average & always wanted to be flat-chested. Seems brilliant to me. What's not to like? If a bloke didn't like it then sod him, I don't fancy blokes that work like that, anyway.

TheCraicDealer · 01/02/2013 18:26

I think you should try to wean yourself off the super-dooper bras. I have some but wear them just for work/going out. Some clothes are obviously just designed and cut for C or D cups, the most common sizes, so they can seem a little gape-y.

Anyway, get yourself some comfy unwired bras for around the house with very little padding. No one will see you, you'll be comfortable and most importantly you'll stop "seeing" these big norks all day and then feeling disappointed when you take your bra off and look at yourself in the nud.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/02/2013 18:28

Ironically my failure to bf both times has been because of my size (38G). There was no way that anyone could think of for me to bf that wasn't lying on my side. Great for bedtimes but highly impractical for 75% of the time.

I hate hate hate my breasts. I would give anything for a flat chest.

Sallystyle · 01/02/2013 18:29

I am small chested.. A cup.

I don't often wear a bra unless I am wearing a lower cut top then I wear my miracle bra.

I used to really be bothered by it, It made me feel like I wasn't as womanly and I spent a lot of years wanting a boob job.

Now I don't care as much. If I could take a tablet and get bigger boobs I would be all over it but I have learnt to live happily with it and concentrate on my good bits!

Plus, mine are a great shape and five children later they are still perky.

sassytheFIRST · 01/02/2013 18:31

If your tits are anything out of the ordinary you will hate them. Fact. I have a slim back and slimmish frame but my tits are 10inches bigger than my ribs. 30jj. They are awful.

But. I mostly cope ok, dress carefully and look as unmatronly as possible in the circumstances. YANBU - tits which feel unattractive are not great.

BTW, what size do you wear? You might be wearing wrong size - lots are - and a change of fit might look better (or the number might make you feel better if nothing else!)

SorrelForbes · 01/02/2013 18:31

Aha, a boob thread

Alwaysasking Have you read this very, very long thread about small boobs?

Loads of great advice and help about buying to correct bra to maximise what you have/haven't got.

I'm large of chest but look much smaller due to great bras. My size 8 niece is pretty much flat chested. Honestly, she has tiny bumps. She was measured recently as a 28DD. Just saying...

greenpostit A true AA cup is very, very rare as it means that your under bust and across bust measurements are exactly the same. The thread above has got some examples of people thinking they're a 34AA when actually they're a 28D!

At the risk of being a complete bra bore:

Measuring
Measure under your bust (hold the tape tight) to get your band measurement. Do not add on any inches to this measurement. Then measure across the fullest part of your bust. Each 1" of difference between the two measurements equals a cup size. So, let?s say you measure 30" underneath and 35" across? That would give you a starting point of 30DD.

Usually you should take the across bust measurement whilst wearing your best fitting bra (preferably an unpadded one although slight padding shouldn?t make too much of a difference). If you think that your bras are fitting so badly that you'll get a distorted measurement, then measure without a bra, but lean forward so that your boobs are hanging towards the floor (attractive!). The cup size is always harder to get right by measuring than the band size.

Testing the band and cup
To test the band size, put the bra (in this example a 30 back) on back to front on the loosest hooks. If you can breathe but if feels tight and you can only fit two fingers underneath the wire at the front, then that's the correct back size for you. If it's so tight it's unbearable then go up a size.

The cup will differ much more between brands and styles than the back. Turn the bra round the correct way, lean forward then take your right hand and put it inside your left cup. Reach right round under your armpit/towards your back and scoop all the backfat/escapage forward in to the cup of the bra. Repeat at the other side.

Then put the shoulder straps up and adjust as necessary (not too tight as it's the back that should be doing most of the supporting work). If for example, you've started with a 30D, you will probably find that after scooping, you have some bulging over the cup and four-boobage going on! This means you need to go up one or more cup sizes. Keep going up through the cup sizes until all your breast tissue is firmly in place.

Stolen from HazelNutt:
Bra myths and D+ denial
There are thousands of women who should be wearing 32 back or smaller and a D+ cup or bigger but:

? They went to M&S for fitting
? They haven't seen anything smaller than a 32 back in the shops
? Have read that [insert a really slim big-boobed celebrity] wears a 36DD and therefore cannot imagine they could need a smaller back/bigger cup (the celebrity in question is of course in a wildly wrong size as well).

So the next time a tiny woman claims to be a 34 bra, you know what to do..

And finally There is no such thing as an AA, or a D cup!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:32

AlwaysAsking clothes shopping is a nightmare isn't it? You have my sympathy. When I was shopping with my sister for a dress to wear at her wedding I ended up in tears of frustration. She wanted me in a strapless number and I just couldn't keep them up. It was awful. I ended up with a shift dress which admittedly did look nice

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:32

Oh hello Sorrel! Grin Knew you'd pop along!

SorrelForbes · 01/02/2013 18:33
Blush

It's usually a three way race between me, StatisticallyChallenged and HazelNut to see who gets here first!

NotYouNaanBread · 01/02/2013 18:33

I was a 34A before I got pregnant, ballooned to a prow-of-ship-like 36B when bf-ing ahem before deflating to a pathetic and soft 36AA (if even) after weaning. I'm not impressed by them I admit, but I think that both now and as I get older there are lots of advantages to being flat - you can wear practically anything, bikinis still look great (and you can wear the REALLY weeny Miss Selfridges ones if your bum is up to it!), you probably couldn't look slutty if you tried and as you get older there's pretty much nothing to droop.

Try Wacoal Petite bras on figleaves. They come in weeny sizes and look remarkably good, esp. the Petite Push Up Bra, which is really nice on.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:34

However these women most emphatically do not "look tiny" to me, and I suspect the OP!

SorrelForbes · 01/02/2013 18:35

NotYouNaanBread See above. Bet you a kitkat that you're probably not an AA unless your above and under bust measurements are exactly the same?

SorrelForbes · 01/02/2013 18:36

*ArielThePiraticalMermaidFri 01-Feb-13 18:34:43

However these women most emphatically do not "look tiny" to me, and I suspect the OP!*

Point taken but I bet those pictures still aren't what many people thinkg a DD looks like.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:37

:)

StuntGirl · 01/02/2013 18:37

Oh sorrel, I have been thinking about your last bra thread recently! I need to get a new bra and keep thinking about your suggestions. My 'true size' according to you makes me want to weep though Sad

SorrelForbes · 01/02/2013 18:38

That attempt at making everything bold went really well.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 18:39

You need to keep it all in one paragraph

Corygal · 01/02/2013 18:39

Well, I bet you look lovely. Neater bosoms are a gift for the most feminine of qualities, elegance, chic, etc. Plus one ages brilliantly.

I have cartoon knockers - stopped buses etc - and people rant with envy - but honestly, the only person who's ever really enjoyed them is Mr Cory, the fat tabby who likes a nap on the cleavage when I am on the Kindle. You know, being liked for your boobs can be a bit creepy. Altho I dont have to bother much with make-up (no one ever looks up that far).

greenpostit · 01/02/2013 18:40

I am 6 feet tall and my underbust is 38 inches. There is no way I am in denial about needing a small back measurement Grin. I am a gigantic person!

Overbust 39 inches. Even if you say this doesn't make me AA, an A cup bra swamps me.

Fluffeh · 01/02/2013 18:42

YANBU I hate my usual (non pregnant) boobs! They don't exist.
Right now I'm a D cup and its fantastic but I've been warned they'll flatten back to an A cup after breast feeding :(.
I've had CBT and counselling and still hate them. And as for the healthy body comments - I don't have that either. I'm blind and have long term health issues and if I could fix one thing it would be my boobs. Simply because my confidence is amazing now my boobs exist, before pregnancy I felt horrible most days.
Everyone is entitled to like/dislike whatever they choose about their own body.