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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think parents should keep their children off Facebook?

42 replies

JoanByers · 01/02/2013 17:36

This girl was apparrently abducted, possibly by 2 19-year-old males, now found safe and well:
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/02/01/missing-girl-kerry-goddard-found_n_2597373.html

Her FB profile is public (v. easy to find), and is being followed by a man in Delhi (Delhi, India), who likes all her posts and says things like "sexo pic" (this girl is 12 years old), as well as another 20-something male from Karachi (that's Karachi, Pakistan).

12 year old girls should not be dealing with this shit.

OP posts:
eachtigertires · 01/02/2013 17:39

Yanbu, I think some parents are really naive to the dangers.

littlewhitebag · 01/02/2013 17:39

Parents need to educate their children about the dangers of Facebook etc and make sure they keep all their information private and only accept people they actually know as friends. I bloody hate Facebook but my DD's use it a lot - always safely.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 01/02/2013 17:41

Ds is 11 and has fb. He has his friends and family on it (we moved 500 miles away last year). I supervise him on it and check and delete anything I think is unsuitable begore he goes on. The problem is lack of supervision not fb imo.

Hulababy · 01/02/2013 17:41

I think teaching chlidren about internet safety and keeping their personal information private is probably the better way forward tbh. Showing them how to set their privacy settings to maximum, only having real friends as FB friends, etc.

13y will always be on FB ime (only a year older) and many younger. I don't let my 10y on, but some of her friends have access. When a friend let her DD use it I declined the FB request (I don;t have children on mine) but I did advise her mum how to restrict her settings - as I am not a Fb friend it is useful to let her mum test them out too.

When DD is on Fb I will make sure she is on my FB friend list - though restrict what she can see of mine :)

ellenjames · 01/02/2013 17:42

children aren't allowed to use facebook until they are 13, what gets me is the parents that allow their kids to use it and dont keep it private, then befriend that child so the child sees all the crap on their parents wall! Not good!

Original poster
JoanByers · 01/02/2013 17:44

Personally I think FB should be for 16+, but I think the 13+ rule is because of US privacy/consent laws.

Anyway, I don't understand why parents would send out mixed messages about the rules - no under 13s, simple as.

OP posts:
jendot · 02/02/2013 08:09

I've watched a couple of horrific videos unwittingly on Facebook recently. 2 really really awful car related accidents and one with an Indian lad who jumped from a pier and landed on his head on a concrete slab, with full on close ups in the hospital of his TOTALLY mangled head/ face and the distress and pain he was in ( has anyone else seen it?) . I am not a squeamish person at all. But this video was horrific and left me shocked and horrified. I still have almost flashbacks about it. I would HATE my son or another child to stumble across any of those 3 videos!

EarlyInTheMorning · 02/02/2013 08:14

Jendot, thank you for the graphic description Hmm

Joan, YANBU at all

JakeBullet · 02/02/2013 08:20

jemdot has a good point though....a child on FB could have seen that.
My DS is 10 and does not have a FB account but many of his classmates DO and I know it's just a matter of time until he wants to do the same. He is autistic and developmentally about three years behind his peers, it's the one time I give thanks for his young ways as FB means nothing to him.
A friend's DD (10) has an account but she is only allowed her Mum and her Nan as "friends" and my my friend checks everything and has has the password.

LindyHemming · 02/02/2013 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyBerryBush · 02/02/2013 08:25

Do you think these videos are not available on the internet? Do you think children cannot access these on their phones? at school? on a friends PC?

DowntonTrout · 02/02/2013 08:27

Why would you click on a video link to watch something like that though jemdot?

Those sort of videos are freely available on You Tube, which anyone can access, there are no age restrictions for that. It's not just a FB thing.

jendot · 02/02/2013 18:44

Sorry if my description was too graphic!! It was marketed as a 'funny clip' until you actually watch it you have no idea of the content...! I am now far more careful which videos I click on.
I'm sure all these videos are on the web but I would never go looking for something like this so would never have seen them! With fb they are just there on my morning news feed! No warnings, no ratings, no idea of what you are about to watch!
My children are approaching Facebook age and I am worried about the things they will no doubt be watching Hmm

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/02/2013 19:00

one of my mates is an animal rights type person, and posts stuff about grim abbatoirs etc. Her friend complained because her 5 year old was upset at seeing graphic pics, my mate rightly said erm what is your kid DOING on FB ffs.

Tee2072 · 02/02/2013 19:02

Am I reading the right article? Where does it mention Facebook?

Too many parents don't know how to use FB never mind children,

exexpat · 02/02/2013 19:05

Facebook is not the sole source of dodgy video clips - they are mostly on YouTube and can just as easily be spread by email, chat rooms etc. it would be naive to think that not being on FB means your DC are protected from that sort if thing. Better to allow it but be strict about privacy settings, who can be a friend etc.

badtemperedaldbitch · 02/02/2013 19:07

Yes I will.definitely be keeping my dd off Facebook. I just don't understand why so many parents allow it.

OkayHazel · 02/02/2013 19:12

Before 13, yes. After 13 no.

The online world is as real as any other world in the 21st Century. just because you grew up without it, doesn't mean your child needs to. You wouldn't stop them experiencing other parts of society? Sex for example. You don't like it, but it's very real.

The key here is education. It is your duty to keep your child informed and safe. Obviously the parents the OP described have failed.

Keep your child aware of online dangers, and monitor where they are online (like you would when they go out with friends) and they will be fine.

gordyslovesheep · 02/02/2013 19:15

YANBU my two eldest girls are 10 and 8 - their class mates have sent friend requests to me - they are children ffs what do they NEED Facebook for anyway

Our local college did a brilliant bit of work around online safety n which they created a false FB profile and ONE of the student added the faker as a friend. The faker then sent friend requests to other and within about 2 weeks 'he' had 500+ friends - they then used this profile to go into schools and explain that from that profile they knew who went to which school/college what area they lived in etc - and did a really good drama piece on FB and stalking

Kids can be keener to be 'popular' than to be safe - FB is not suitable for children

MariusEarlobe · 02/02/2013 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SneezySnatcher · 02/02/2013 20:05

YANBU. I asked one of my classes (Y3 so 7 and 8 year olds) how many of them had a FB account. 11 of them did and a few more use their parents' accounts. Three of them have Twitter.

I was shocked. This was before an e-safety lesson BTW so we did discuss how to be safe online afterwards.

mrsjay · 02/02/2013 20:16

I think some parents are quite vague about what their children do on the internet tbh kids with laptops or tablets in their bedrooms yanbu I am like facebook police with dd2, dd1 is a grown up but it was bebo and something else at that age i was on her all the time,

mrsjay · 02/02/2013 20:20

and it isn't just facebook some children have free reign of you tube etc

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 03/02/2013 08:14

Thanks Joan.

I 100% blame her parents. Why were they not watching her FB activity? She's under-age, anyway.

I'm glad she's safe. I hope her parents wake up.