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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that my dd should be able to walk alone without being followed/hassled?

37 replies

singingsoprano · 01/02/2013 16:39

Dd is in 6th form, is beautiful and petite, usually wears jeans/leggings but seems to be constantly whistled at/bothered/harrassed. Have reported today's latest incident to local police, as she was being followed by a 'man in a white van.'
Apparently, he kept pulling in beside her, then when she sped up, drove slightly behind her, pulled in again. This went on for about 6 minutes and she was quite scared.
Luckily, another woman noticed the van following her, crossed the road and walked with her until the van drove off.
We are now waiting for the police to contact us for a statement and dd has said that this time she felt really scared. She said she is fed up with the attention and just wants to walk in pease. It's not too much to ask, surely?

OP posts:
CailinDana · 01/02/2013 16:41

YANBU of course, poor thing. Did she manage to get the number plate of the van?

pictish · 01/02/2013 16:43

God almighty.
What is with men who behave like that???
Dreadful.
Yanbu.

thebody · 01/02/2013 16:43

Definatly not. Poor kid. Hope she managed to get licence plate.

Tell her to never walk too near the pavement and what about some self defence classes to boost her confidence in situations like this.

What a vile pig of a man.

ApocalypseThen · 01/02/2013 16:43

It seems it is too much to ask, unfortunately. Shouldn't be, if course.

Original poster
singingsoprano · 01/02/2013 16:44

No, unfortunately not, as she was too scared and was using her 'phone to talk to a friend as she was so 'freaked out'!

OP posts:
Original poster
singingsoprano · 01/02/2013 16:47

Self-defence classes are a good idea, we will look into that. Dd has even had comments/looks when with me and it is very disconcernting.

OP posts:
simplesusan · 01/02/2013 16:47

YANBU.

Just as an aside, if at all possible, tell her to walk facing oncoming traffic in future.

Original poster
singingsoprano · 01/02/2013 16:48

Another good idea, simplesusan. Thank you.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 01/02/2013 16:49

While the suggestions of self defence classes and walking facing traffic are sensible it makes me so angry to think that we're sitting here advising a lovely young woman on how to change her behaviour so she can walk down the road in peace. FFS!! What a fucking shit world we live in.

KenLeeeeeee · 01/02/2013 16:52

While the suggestions of self defence classes and walking facing traffic are sensible it makes me so angry to think that we're sitting here advising a lovely young woman on how to change her behaviour so she can walk down the road in peace. FFS!! What a fucking shit world we live in.

This. Am so Sad and Angry for your DD.

CatelynStark · 01/02/2013 16:54

Your poor daughter! This kind of entitled behaviour from fuckwit males makes me bloody furious!

While I'm really pleased that she got support from a passer by, it's disgraceful that some men think that it's ok for them to do this. I really hope she can give a good description of him and the van and the police go round and put the fear of God into him. The wanker!! Angry

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 01/02/2013 17:01

YANBU

Completely agree with Cailin. We should be adopting a zero tolerance towards this sort of behaviour not advising women on how to alter their's.

simplesusan · 01/02/2013 17:01

YANBU.

Just as an aside, if at all possible, tell her to walk facing oncoming traffic in future.

Theicingontop · 01/02/2013 17:03

YADNBU. What a vile thing to happen. And what a lovely thing for that woman to do.

simplesusan · 01/02/2013 17:04

Sorry posted twice.

Yes I agree the man was completely at fault and your dd hasn't done anything wrong. However, it is always sensible to consider your safety and make it easier to escape idiots like this.

magimedi · 01/02/2013 17:05

YANBU.

If (& I really hope it doesn't) this happens again tell her to ring the police straight away.

And I agree with zero tolerance but kids still need advice on coping strategies.

LizzieVereker · 01/02/2013 17:09

I agree with Cailin.

Why do people think this is acceptable? Poor young woman, I'm raging for her. Angry

FlorriesDragons · 01/02/2013 17:10

I still get this kind of thing happening to me and I'm 26 and occasionally pushing a buggy. Sad Angry

Never be afraid to call the police for things like this. These men need to know that this behaviour isn't acceptable.

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 01/02/2013 17:12

Yes we should agree a zero tolerance policy. But getting through to idiot blokes like him can take time and some won't listen at all. In the meantime, the OP's DD needs strategies to make her feel confident. I think self-defence and anything that makes her feel more able to handle a situation like this is good.

Original poster
singingsoprano · 01/02/2013 17:14

Thank you for all your comments. Dd said because it happens a lot, she didn't think of 'phoning the police, but now realises that it would have been sensible. I am very grateful to the woman who noticed and stayed with my daughter until she fely it was safe. Thanks

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 01/02/2013 17:15

Although probably inconvenient, always walk facing oncoming traffic, it stops people drawing up behind you and 'kerb crawling' - I do hope she got the number plate though.

Bathjelly · 01/02/2013 17:25

She might feel a bit safer if she carried a personal alarm (i think you can get them from the police station)? As far as I know, you pull a pin out of them and they make a piercing sound , that would hopefully teach men like that a lesson.

ApocalypseThen · 01/02/2013 17:55

She needs to get her phone out and get the reg.

QuickLookBusy · 01/02/2013 18:00

How awful for her.

You have done the right thing in phoning the police, they should take today's incident seriously.

FlouncingMintyy · 01/02/2013 18:02

Well OBVIOUSLY not unreasonable. So why are you asking if you are?