To ask what SAHM,s with kids at school do with their days?

[totallyfrazzled]

I am mainly a SAHM but both my children are now school age. I do work PT, but as I work freelance my work days are erratics so I often find myself being a SAHM for a full week. Despite the fact that I do work, albeit slightly randomly, I find that I cannot give myself credit for the multiple tasks that I perform in anyone day at home....getting the DC's dressed and ready for school, driving them to school, clearing up the breakfast chaos, making the beds, doing the shopping, blah blah blah, preparing the evening meal, collecting the DC's, getting thru the homework, etc etc etc. i seem to be able to fill a whole day with domestic drudgery and still I am treading water, i.e. I am keeping everything at a status quo rather than actually achieving anything. I feel duty bound to keep on with domestic duties whilst not actually in renumerative employ. I feel guilty doing otherwise.Wondering if any one anyone else is in the same boat?

A simple response to Dozer's post of why is it usually women who have SAH role .... because women have babies and men tend to earn more in the workplace etc etc !

That is v sad angels. Horrible employer.

Yes, exitpusuedbyabear, it is presenteeism, I don't think it is changing much yet though.

Rubbish, juggling, "women have babies", so because men have a penis they can't SAH and do childcare?

Earning differences don't fully explain it either.

What newNN said.

I work very part time but am now on maternity leave. For 2 years i did this with school aged dc. Believe me it wasn't all going to the gym!. Now i am incredibly busy. I seem to spend half my life ferrying older dc to one activity or another. Or going to meetings at school or goiing to hospital appointments. (Have accident prone dc)
I have so much respect for those who work full time. I really don't know how you manage.

Part of my determination to be a SAHM ( fear of being a WOHM ) came from working for a particularly nasty boss ( an area manager)who used to take great delight in calling his branch managers in for after hours meetings at an hours notice.

I was his assistant at the time and I had the lovely job of phoning these managers to tell them that they had to drop everything and be at the area office for 5pm.

A few of these managers were good friends of mine and I knew they would be at breaking point over the stress of having to arrange emergency childcare at short notice because of these meetings.

I noticed that the male managers would be given the "meeting over a lunchtime pint" option whereas the women with children would be allocated the late meeting.

He was a special kind of evil and was actively trying to force these women to take downgrades by making their jobs impossible to balance with their parental responsibility.

So you tell me then Dozer, what does explain it ?

I think I looked after DD and DS more in the first year than DH because I'd given birth to them and was breast-feeding as well as social expectations.

Having started to be the main carer to them I have continued to be.

DH's career became more settled than mine partly as he hadn't taken a break from it/ parental leave and partly again due to society's expectations and construction.

It does seem a bit of a basic question to ask why is it usually women who are SAH's !

Tis the patriarchy juggling

Cool ! (not the patriarchy of course, just reaching an understanding )

I love being at home and feel very lucky that I am able to do so.

I took the children to school this morning (hour round trip)
Did a yoga session for an hour
Walked the dog for an hour
Saw to the horses, another good hour
Did some essential admin for a (bit)
Went back to collect the children another hour
Off out tonight with friends.

I hate cleaning with a passion and my house is a bit of a tip because I'm always out and about instead of being a good little housewife (urgh I hate that word). I should probably do more but there are too many interesting things to do, people to see, books to read, films to watch blah blah.

I'm very sociable and probably chat a lot every day, don't really do that whole gym, coffee thing quite so much but do love a good lunch. Someone up-thread asked just how many lunches one could have and I maintain 365 a year sounds good to me !

I love my life and wouldn't change a thing. I know some people would be bored to death but I ain't one of them !

woman hating loon.lol.no observing the thread the coffee and gym habit housewives
so thats your summation,the best you can come up with,incisive or what
should I have gushed ardest job in world,should be paid you know. nearly proper work

Scottishmummy you know you come across as angry and bitter, right?

Whatever..

That was too sm not impty obviously! Sm is consistent if nothing else.

lol angry and bitter enough to call someone woman hating loon?nope not me
better to explore why it's so touchy for you,provoking such histrionics
Seriously,why so worked up?

Back in your box scottishmummy.

Today I met a good friend for cake and coffee. It was lovely

I see only one antagonist ( I always think SM gets her kicks by jumping on any sahm thread and being scathing, a bit of a wind up mercant really and to be taken with a pinch of salt) and one or two peope responding in kind.

All a bit childish.

Maybe people who are upset by SM comments should examine why it seems to touch a nerve....

And maybe SM can examine the root of her contempt for sahms. What is it about Sahms that brings out your bitter remarks? I am not sure it is envy, so wndering what it could be that rattles you so about parents deciding to look after their own kids.

the woman hating loon box?or the why have em if you leave them with strangers box?
funnily enough I don't have a I'd never miss previous moments box.or faf about all day box.ahhh so many boxes...

I suspect the poster threw that comment

like it,deliciously obnoxious in a bulgy eyed way

I suspect she threw the comment in to confirm that Scottishmummy was lurking somewhere on this thread,lol!(be less predictable in future maybe)

Today;
I did the school run.
Got home.
Cleaning, washing, tidying.
Grocery delivery came, put away.
Phone call from my mother. She was feeling very ill.
Went to her house.
Called gp.
Called paramedic.
Stayed with her til 2pm.
Came home. Finished cleaning.
Appt with man who is replacing the conservatory roof next week.
Took mum to gp.
Came home.
Did some voluntary work for church.
Dc at pils tonight, thank god.
MN.
So that's my day today.
I feel quite tired, and frankly fed up that someone who has sat on their backsides all day in a cushy office job think they have the right to judge me for being a sahm or think that my life is one long coffee break!

Do people really, honestly think that all sahms do is go for coffee, go to the gym, or salon?
I bloody wish :(