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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was awful to leave this girl out of whole class party just because shes new?

91 replies

stormforce10 · 29/01/2013 21:11

DD came home with a party invitation tonight. She rushed over with it and ad I knew she'd be able to go I told party girls mum that dd would love to come. She said that was great and they'd invited whole class except for girl who was new this term as they didn't really know anything about her or her family.

AIBU to have responded "sorry I think you should have asked her its hard enough being new as it is without being left out of something like this" Party girls mum just said well luckily its nothing to do with you and walked off. Fair enough nothing to do with me but couldn't leave it unsaid

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
stormforce10 · 29/01/2013 21:12

Year 2 so 6 & 7 year olds by the way

OP posts:
Roseformeplease · 29/01/2013 21:13

I was that girl once. New to a school overseas so lots of changes in pupils. Not only was I left out, I was clearly told why (My Mum says she doesn't know if she will like you or not) and it really, really hurt. Actually, nearly 40 years on, it still does. Well done for sticking up for her. yANBU

Ponderingonaquandry · 29/01/2013 21:13

As the 'new family' yanbu it sucks when your kid is left out because they moved into the area

halcyondays · 29/01/2013 21:13

Yanbu

McNewPants2013 · 29/01/2013 21:15

Yanbu, as a parent I would think this would be a good way to make a posible new friend.

mirry2 · 29/01/2013 21:15

Good for you stormface. That mother sounds horrid and she's sending a dreadful message to her child about exclusion.

chickencurryfor7 · 29/01/2013 21:15

YANBU and good for you! I don't know that I'd have been that brave, I'm a bit of a wuss at the school gates and try and keep my head down.

What an awful thing to do to a new child!

SirBoobAlot · 29/01/2013 21:17

Poor girl. That mum sounds delightful Hmm

LoganMummy · 29/01/2013 21:18

YANBU the other mum offered the information she had left one person out, it's not like you found out and then challenged her on it.
I would have said the same thing.

PrettyKitty1986 · 29/01/2013 21:18

No YANBU. Ds1 had his 5th birthday party on Sunday, and I made sure I asked at school that I was ok to use the class list we had at Xmas...I had to check they hadn't had anyone join this month because I would have felt so awful leaving one out. I even persuaded the school secretary to use their texting system to send a message to the parents of two kids that had been off the whole week the invites went out so that they knew lol.
Very mean of her.

LittleChimneyDroppings · 29/01/2013 21:18

Mean cow. She sounds horrible.

specialsubject · 29/01/2013 21:19

it is a pity that someone breeds with the school bully. It is the MUM that is doing this? Do they think that a six year old will wreck the joint?

well, you know what to do when it is your daughter's party. Although is it possible to get all the other mums together and for everyone to refuse this invite?

toffeelolly · 29/01/2013 21:21

yanbu That is terrible to leave a child out like that, ho like that

carabos · 29/01/2013 21:22

When I was a kid we used to compete to be friends with the newbie. I've never heard anything quite so horrible - what a ghastly woman.

greenpostit · 29/01/2013 21:23

Yanbu in principle.

However you could have possibly been a bit more diplomatic. Instead of saying I think you should have asked her, you could have said something softer and more positive like - my dd says new girl is really nice and maybe pointed out her mum or something like that.

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother · 29/01/2013 21:23

YANBU! Good on you for saying what you did!

Can't believe a grown woman would act like this. Its ridiculous.

Poor little girl Sad
I wonder what she'd say if it were her own daughter at a new school!

Could you invite the little girl for a playdate sometime? I'm sure her and her family would really appreciate it!

Original poster
stormforce10 · 29/01/2013 21:24

Thank you was wondering if I went too far by saying what I did even though I wouldn't go back on it as I meant it.

DD's got a couple of girls coming for lunch and play at weekend. Do you think it would be a good idea to pop a note to new girl and ask her along as well? DD seems to get on well with her and from the little I've seen of her mum she seems lovely. Four 6 / 7 year olds will be no harder than 3 Grin

OP posts:
helpyourself · 29/01/2013 21:24

Good for you OP.

delphinedownunder · 29/01/2013 21:25

yANBU and I am glad you were blunt. Well done. Can I have your backbone please!!

Original poster
stormforce10 · 29/01/2013 21:26

Greenpostit you're right I should have been more diplomatic. However I was so surprised I engaged mouth before brain

OP posts:
NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother · 29/01/2013 21:26

I think you should definitely invite her! You sound like a really nice person by the way Smile

toffeelolly · 29/01/2013 21:27

yanbu that is terrible to treat a child like that what age is this woman . how would she like somebody to treat her child in this way . what a horrid person . cannot understand how a parent could act like this .

xxDebstarxx · 29/01/2013 21:28

What a lovely welcome Hmm

Well done for saying what you said. YA sooooooooooooo NBU.

KC225 · 29/01/2013 21:29

Good for you. How awful for that little girl.

One month before the end of the year a girl joined our reception class from abroad. The class rep mailed everyone the week before and told us to look out for the family in the playground and introduce ourselves. On her first day she got two party invitations for upcoming parties. Her Mother said she couldn't believe how friendly and welcoming the class was.

DizzyHoneyBee · 29/01/2013 21:31

There is no way YABU.