To really want to tell this child off??

[curiousgeorgie]

I go to a large baby & toddler group with my DD (2) and three other friends and toddlers.

About four months ago, my DD was pushed off of the top of the slide by a girl maybe a year older. I just picked her up and consoled her and glanced around but no parent was forthcoming so I just left it.

At the same session my friends 2 year old boy was hit in the face with a train by the same girl, and my other friends daughter was pushed.

That's life obviously and children go through phases.

Except that this is a weekly group and I think my daughter has escaped being shoved, pushed over or hit maybe twice. The same for my friends children.

The third week we had worked out who her mother was and I went over and said 'Im really sorry, but your child just pushed my child over, and it's not the first time.' and she burst into tears! So obviously we left it again.

Several weeks more of this and my friend confronted her again only to be told that kids will be kids and nothing was done or said to the child.

She refuses to tell her no, doesn't watch her (playgroup is made up of three different rooms so not always easy to keep an eye on your child unless you go with them) and is making my DD scared to play.

Today all of us didn't go because it's just becoming ridiculous.

Obviously I can't actually tell this girl off, but I bloody want to!!

WWYD??

I would tell the child off if the mum is not going to - if she has hurt your child then you are justified in doing so I think

I would find another group. Or contact a few of the people that go to that one and suggest we all meet up somewhere instead.
Or I'd follow my child round and make sure they didn't get hurt and yes, I would tell the other child to stop.
Or I'd talk to the organisers and say that they need to say something because it's making people not want to come.

You know what? I would tell her a swift, sharp 'No!' next time. And i'm not normally in favour of telling off other people's kids. But if she hurts your dc she needs to learn there are consequences!

tell the person running the group

I agree about speaking to the organisers, they need to know what's going on.

I did tell the woman running the group, more than once, and she's said she's had other complaints too but can't ask her to leave as its her most local group and the little girl needs to socialise! Ffs.

Our toddler group can be a bit the same. And my personal opinion is that people should be watching their kids for this reason & they don't! Its SO annoying!

I would tell the organisers and let them deal with it as its happened more than once.

X

I'm with telling the organisers too - explain that the child is frightening the other children and putting several people off coming. Not on.

Of course you can tell the child off! Just "its not nice to hit/push/shove"

Your DD needs to see you standing up for her!

I would tell the child off, and I probably would have done it the first time that she pushed my child and I wasnt able to see the mum anywhere..
but if the mum has started crying when you spoke to her about it then maybe she needs some support? Could you try to talk to her more?

You need to follow your child around, surely you should be in the same room as a two year old anyway? You can tell the child off if you want (I would).

If the woman cried when you spoke to her and the leader gave a response that the little girl needs to socialise at a local group then I think the leaders have decided that they are not going to ask her to leave, it could be the last straw for someone who has a very difficult life.

Tell the child off at the time, tell the organiser every time. Complain complain complain.

I'm a wuss and hate confrontation... So I'd snitch to whoever is running the group. It will have rules and controlling your child will be one of them.

I wouldn't shout at the girl but I would certainly say "No thank you, it's not nice to hit/push other people" in a firm voice. She needs to hear it from someone and I have no qualms about disciplining others children if the parent is too lazy to do it!!

I would tell the child off, I wouldn't be aggressive but a firm no and tell her we don't hit/push/snatch etc.

Also maybe the organiserscan have a word?

Did you say the mum cried when confronted?

You need to follow your child & maybe catch the child being good ie BEFORE an incident praise her for waiting or taking turns etc. You can't expect toddlers to behave when there are no adults around to enforce the boundaries of acceptable behaviour!

My child got slammed into a wall (not the first time )at a toddler group by a girl who was known to misbehave. My immediate reaction was to tell off the child but I said it rather loudly (the maternal instinct and all that) and in a very sharp voice. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look. I was really embarrassed, but it never happened again.

I'd also tell the child off tbh (another teacher!).

There's no need to shout or be unpleasant - eye contact on her level and a short, sharp "No! We don't hit" is all it takes.

I would tell her firmly 'no' and you do need to follow them around at a toddler group.

Your dd also needs to be able to say 'no' to her too but obviously that's hard.

As mom cried I would mention the situation to the leader, child may have behavioural issues so tred carefully.

"I did tell the woman running the group, more than once, and she's said she's had other complaints too but can't ask her to leave as its her most local group and the little girl needs to socialise! Ffs."
But the little girl is not socialising, she is terrorising! The organiser is not doing her job; if she feels she can't ask her to leave then she needs to tell this girl's mother that she needs to parent her daughter, not abdicate all responsibility.

So personally, I'd -

1. Tell the organiser to get her finger out
2. Tell the girl off every time she hurt somebody (I am 49 - I really don't get the modern reluctance to do this)
3. Tell the mother, if she objected, that I wouldn't need to tell her daughter off if she'd do her effing job of being a parent.

Euphemia You and me both! I am incapable of watching poor behaviour without correcting it. Must be years of teaching! (Although it's generally teens, because that's the age group I teach). Last weekend in an upstairs area of a cafe there were a group of age 13-ish girls swearing loudly and playing music on a phone and I said sharply, 'Stop swearing please and turn that music off! You are in a cafe - not a disco!'. There was a stunned silence then a couple of them muttered 'sorry' and one (bolder) one said, 'You can't tell us what to do!' to which I replied, 'I most certainly can! If you can't behave yourself I shall fetch the manager to remove you'. They muttered to each other for a minute or two and then left sheepishly. (I realise I shall probably be stabbed in the street one day by a teen I've told to 'pick up that rubbish and put it in the bin' )