To have complained about this dog being in the park?

[TangoPurple]

The deed is already done, so it's more a case of was i unreasonable?

Today we've had the first bit of sunshine in months!

I picked dd up from school and took her to the park. It's inside a local council run museum. The park is at one end of the place, with the museum and attractions at the other. Free entry for everything.

Anyway, after spending ten minutes in the park, a family turned up with a dog in tow. The parents were sitting on the grass playing with the dog, off its lead, while their children played on the slides etc.

Well, my dd is terrified of dogs. That's the reason we specifically walk the extra length to go to this one as it's strictly no dogs allowed. DD noticed the dog right away and had a mini meltdown. I explained to the couple that my dd was frightened and that dogs weren't allowed (as detailed on the sign on the main gates you have to pass to get in the place).

They just said they'll be sure to keep the dog on the grass. It's the first nice day in ages and their kids wanted to come to the park. I said, 'well so does mine.' They said something about their dog being a puppy (a really big puppy) and it couldn't be left at home alone.

I went up to the reception/gift shop and told them there was a dog on the grounds. The member of staff left saying she'd tell the family the dog would have to leave.

So me and dd spent ten minutes walking around the gift shop before heading back down. The family were taking their time packing up their snacks and bottles etc, with their kids upset about having to go home so quickly. The parents said (very loudly!) some parents should stop letting their kids be so 'feared of everything'.

Their kids seemed really sad to be leaving so early. One of the girls was the same age as my dd which is why i feel guilty about what happened.

Was i being unreasonable?

YWNBU. It really annoys me when dog owners look down their noses at people who are afraid of dogs and show no regard for rules re keeping them on leads etc. because they, personally, think these rules are silly.

In my local park there is actually an area sectioned off where dogs can be let run around off the lead. But you will still get idiots allowing them to run around in the main area, or keeping them on such extended leads they might as well not be on a lead at all.

If it says no dogs you don't take your dog there, simple - so YANBU to complain

You can leave puppies and dogs alone, if they were bothered about potential mess (wee on the floor, chewed up stuff ect) then they should invest in a crate and in crate training

Did they have to leave or were they able to stand outside the play area and watch their DC play?

Sign said no dogs allowed, you were definitely NBU. Has your dd got any sensory issues? My DS has a degree of LD and AS, he doesn't like dogs because they have cold wet noses that touch his skin and makes him feel really uncomfortable, he hates them licking him for the same reasons, and the loud barking hurts his ears. So it's not due to a specific event that he doesn't like them, but they cause sensory issues for him iyswim.

I have frequently asked people to remove their dogs from our local dog-free play area. I have no compunction about it at all. While a family may be happy that their dog is friendly and safe around children, I don't know the dog and can't make that risk assessment. I'm not afraid of dogs, but especially with small children where the dog is so much closer to face height, I won't let them get too close.

I too find it unbelievable that a fear or dislike of dogs is called "life limiting", and is compared to " a disability" and that posters are even pointed in the direction of the Mental Health section.

Not everyone loves your dog. End of story.

OP YANBU. No Dogs means no dogs. It doesn't mean no dogs unless you have a cute puppy, or no dogs unless your dog doesn't like being alone at home, or no dogs unless your dog is lovely and won't hurt a fly.

It means NO DOGS.

That's the problem with some dog owners Youoldslag, they seem to think normal courtesy and consideration should go out the window where their dog is concerned. Saying "oh he's just playing. He won't hurt you" instead of pulling your dog away from an obviously terrified person is rude, insensitive and downright stupid.

I'm quite surprised about the amount of posters telling you that you are shielding your daughter from her fears by not wanting a dog in a park where NO DOGS ARE ALLOWED

Sometimes people are irrationally afraid of things - even adults. And whether or not OP was "shielding" her child is irrelevant as the dog was not meant to be there!

I am a dog owner. I take my dog into the park where dogs are not allowed only if there is nobody else there. The second that somebody else arrives I tie her up outside of the park.

YANBU

I just want to add that I used to be terrified of dogs and would behave the same way as your DD. I know exactly how she was feeling as I felt the same way especially when they weren't on leads. However, I now have a pet dog and not just a placid, quiet thing, but a very active bouncy staffy. So it is possible she will one day lose her fear. I found it helped to be around dogs to lose the fear.

I am a dog lover but also help run a village playground. it's amazing how many people think it doesn't matter if they take the dog in if 'there's nobody else there'. It does matter. One person's dog being there encourages other people to think that we're not serious about trying to keep dogs out.

lilleth I was similar. I was absolutely terrified of dogs as a child. My parents never pandered to me by taking me to dog free places though. And at around age 10 they bought me a puppy to help me get over my fear. It worked and I am absolutely fine now.

But the OP was NBU to do what she did in an area that should have been dog free.

If it was a couple why couldn't one adult stay in the park with the children & the other look after the dog?

Where I live, in a Muslim country, they ask us politely to microchip our dogs, avoid family areas and not be a nuisance. For a non dog country, this is very tolerant, the only difference being if your dog is running riot in a family area, it will be removed by the police. I don't have a problem with that and the last thing I would want at the playpark (despite having 3 dogs) is a dog running around. So YANBU

YANBU. OP, you shouldn't feel guilty because the other kid's day was spoiled - it was their parent's fault for taking their dog into a no-dog area.

I'm a dog-lover but you just don't take dogs into no-dog play areas. If we want to go somewhere dogless, we work out a way to do it without taking him in. e.g. adults take turns walking the dog outside.

Yes it was the parents who ruined their child's outing, not you.

Yanbu OP, and I also feel you are getting an unfair amount of criticism about your childs fear.
From your subsequent posts, I can see that you ARE taking steps to help your dd cope better around dogs and how the hell taking her to a dog free park for a nice stress free day out can be classed as enabling is beyond me. The area was a no dog zone. The dog owners were in the wrong. End of story.
My ds was terrified of dogs ( which is strange as Ds and I love them) but he is much better after gradually getting him used to friendly family pets. The idea of us taking him to a dog park for a nice family day out in the early days is laughable!

Whoops, I meant Dh and I love dogs, not Ds

My kids like dogs and I still don't want dogs in children's play areas! I'm not "shielding" my kids I just don't like dogs running round in children's playgrounds.

Yanbu.

No dogs means no dogs.

They shouldn't have taken the dog in, regardless of whether children were scared of the dog.