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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have complained about this dog being in the park?

93 replies

TangoPurple · 28/01/2013 16:34

The deed is already done, so it's more a case of was i unreasonable?

Today we've had the first bit of sunshine in months!

I picked dd up from school and took her to the park. It's inside a local council run museum. The park is at one end of the place, with the museum and attractions at the other. Free entry for everything.

Anyway, after spending ten minutes in the park, a family turned up with a dog in tow. The parents were sitting on the grass playing with the dog, off its lead, while their children played on the slides etc.

Well, my dd is terrified of dogs. That's the reason we specifically walk the extra length to go to this one as it's strictly no dogs allowed. DD noticed the dog right away and had a mini meltdown. I explained to the couple that my dd was frightened and that dogs weren't allowed (as detailed on the sign on the main gates you have to pass to get in the place).

They just said they'll be sure to keep the dog on the grass. It's the first nice day in ages and their kids wanted to come to the park. I said, 'well so does mine.' They said something about their dog being a puppy (a really big puppy) and it couldn't be left at home alone.

I went up to the reception/gift shop and told them there was a dog on the grounds. The member of staff left saying she'd tell the family the dog would have to leave.

So me and dd spent ten minutes walking around the gift shop before heading back down. The family were taking their time packing up their snacks and bottles etc, with their kids upset about having to go home so quickly. The parents said (very loudly!) some parents should stop letting their kids be so 'feared of everything'.

Their kids seemed really sad to be leaving so early. One of the girls was the same age as my dd which is why i feel guilty about what happened.

Was i being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/01/2013 18:45

YWNBU by virtue of the fact the dog simply wasn't meant to be in that park.

I wouldn't take my dog into a park with "no dogs" signs at the gates.

WorraLiberty · 28/01/2013 18:53

They were BU for taking the dog there

But you were BU for going to great lengths to get the dog removed as this will not help your DD's fear of dogs at all.

It just reinforces here feeling that there's something to be scared about, otherwise you would have just continued playing.

Original poster

TangoPurple · 28/01/2013 19:03

She wouldn't have continued playing Worra. She was screaming to get home because of the dog.

It wasn't a case of ignoring the dog (which i was doing) and dd would calm down eventually.

If i didn't ask for the dog to be removed, then i would have had to leave with dd instead.

OP posts:

BombayBadonkadonks · 28/01/2013 19:09

Def not BU!

I don't mind dogs but would complain if one was in a no dog area just because they might poo!

Not all dog owners pick up and I really hate having to clean poo off shoes/hands etc!

MordionAgenos · 28/01/2013 19:12

YAdefinitelyNU

If dogs aren't allowed then they aren't allowed and that's that.

diddl · 28/01/2013 19:14

If it´s no dogs, it´s no dogs.

Your daughter´s fear isn´t relevant.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/01/2013 19:17

YANBU. This annoys me in the summer, when the people on the beach think that "no dogs on this part of the beach" couldn't possibly apply to them, or it doesn't matter because they're just walking along the beach, not sitting down.

badtasteflump · 28/01/2013 19:17

No YANBU. No dogs means no dogs!

We purposely go to dog-free parks, not because the DC are scared of dogs, but because we don't want to be trying to avoid the piles of dog crap which seem to be all over the parks where dogs are allowed. Therefore I would be pissed off to find a dog in a part we've gone out of our way to visit.

LiegeAndLief · 28/01/2013 19:26

YANBU.

Actually I think your daughter's fear of dogs is not unusual and has a basis in common sense. Dogs can be very big next to children, are strong and have sharp teeth. It's pretty healthy for any juvenile animal to be nervous around a carnivore of another species which could easily hurt them (intentionally or not). Judging by the numbe of children I know who are scared of dogs, most of them outgrow it.

AmberLeaf · 28/01/2013 19:28

YWNBU at all.

You were right to request the dogs removal, it was not meant to be there!

I hate dog owners like that and Nebulousbloom, I love that description of 'shittyarse' the dog!

5inabed · 28/01/2013 21:52

Yanbu this really pisses me off the dog should not have been there at all clue is in the dogs are prohibited notice. So why is everyone saying oh you should deal with a terrified child's over reaction? If the dog wasn't there there would have been no problem. My sister has a phobia of dogs, had counselling as a child it didn't help should she not be able to go to one of the very few places dogs are not allowed? Or maybe people should keep their animals on a lead and away from people who don't want them near them. I cannot stand the assumption that the people who don't want a smelly yappy slobbering dog near them are the ones with the problem.

VinegarTits · 28/01/2013 22:11

it annoys me that dog owners expect you to teach your dc not to be scared of them, for what? for them to then approach a strange dog that might rip their face off?

my ds2 is scared of dogs, i dont teach him not to be scared, i teach him to stay well away as you never know when a dog might turn, even the really friendly ones

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 28/01/2013 22:20

Ywnbu.

The dog was prohibited from the park.

It makes no odds whether your dd was scared of dogs or not, or whether it was a puppy or not. Prohibited is prohibited.

Ps, I have a dog so have no problem with dogs, but I do have a problem with people ignoring the rules.

maddening · 28/01/2013 22:26

Why should her dd be constantly working on her phobia? Surely she is entitled to some play time without having to deal with dogs!

Also - surely in such a strong phobia it is best to tackle in a controlled manner rather than round strange dogs?

D0oinMeCleanin · 28/01/2013 22:28

There is such a thing as a healthy middle ground VinegarTits.

As pointed out on this thread adults can put themselves and their children in physical danger by going to extreme lengths to avoid dogs, including stepping into traffic.

My two are not remotely scared of dogs, this doesn't mean they throw themselves at the paws of every dog they see. They have a very healthy respect for dogs. They always check with the owners before going too close and they always approach the dog in a calm and correct manner. They meet several dogs daily, we live opposite a popular dog walking park and they accompany me on walks, they've never been bitten or nipped by a strange dog but they are aware that dogs can and do cause serious injury if they are stressed, hurt or tormented.

PimpMyHippo · 28/01/2013 22:35

I was petrified of dogs as a child, and really sympathise with your DD because I remember the fear so strongly. I refused to get out of the car at the park in case there were dogs around. I grew out of it when I was about 7 and now I work with dogs for a living. I agree with maddening that a stranger's puppy is not the best dog to practise getting her used to dogs, you don't know what its temperament is like and it might be boisterous which, in a big dog, is terrifying for a small child. I wish you and her the best of luck with solving her phobia though because it is much nicer being able to enjoy friendly dogs. (FWIW, I was an absolute nightmare for my mother after I overcame my fear - I would wander up to any random dog and start cuddling it, she was always having to drag me away from them!)

DeepRedBetty · 28/01/2013 22:47

YWNBU, well done to you, and up the bum to the idiot entitled parents who moaned about it.

I hope you'll be able to help dd find a way to manage her fear of dogs as she gets older, just to make her own life easier. Maybe try a PAT dog charity again in a few months? If you're anywhere near NE Wilts I can help, I know a couple round here.

kerala · 28/01/2013 22:58

Can't bear people who act as if rules don't apply to them so arrogant and selfish. Like the couple that strolled through the crowds on a strictly no dogs beach with an enormous hound. We made special efforts to go to dog free beaches as we had a toddler scared of dogs and a crawler so didn't want a beach covered in dog shit. But apparently the rules didn't apply to these numbskulls

VivaLeBeaver · 28/01/2013 23:02

Ywnbu. I'm a dog owner and wouldn't dream of taking my dog somewhere its not allowed. They need to find another park which allows dogs and kids. And they certainly shouldn't moan when pulled up on rule breaking.

ShellyBoobs · 28/01/2013 23:06

YWNBU.

The ignorant morons with the dog were.

My niece is terrified of dogs - linked to her ASD - and I would be fucking livid if some ignorant bastard dared to pick fault with her family's decision to not push her into spending time with dogs.

FuzzyClutter · 28/01/2013 23:27

Yanbu - they were caught bang to rights and shouldn't have got the arse on.

I have a dog and I have been known to take him into parks which say no dogs, but I would never let him off the lead and if I was asked to take him elsewhere I would do so.

Re dd's fear - I think some people are missing the point that a lot of kids are born with an innate fear of dogs, in the same way that many of us shit a brick if we come across a massive spider. I know most people on here think of homeopathy in the same way as the tooth fairy but it may be worth looking up a remedy called calc carb, if you google 'homeopathy fear dogs children' and have a look at the first page that comes up, a book by Paul herscue. If you think that sounds like dd it may be worth a trip to a homeopath for some constitutional treatment.

TheNebulousBoojum · 28/01/2013 23:30

But why take your dog into a no dogs area, even on a lead?
Does it not occur to you that people may just avoid you and your animal rather than complain, because they don't want to make a fuss or because you may become aggressive?
As an aside, I love spiders and snakes, and I feel that people's phobias of them in this country is ridiculous. However, I don't go round dumping random spiders on people because I think they should get over themselves.

Pleasedontpassmeby · 28/01/2013 23:36

I agree with everyone who has said that a fear of dogs is irrelevant.

The dog should not have been taken into a dog-free area.

I have had a similar experience(on at least three occasions)in a cemetery which I visit regularly and have been told in no uncertain terms to mind my own business when I pointed out that there was a notice on the gate saying
"No dogs(except assistance dogs) allowed".They were all off the lead and their owners did not seem to be visiting any graves.

YWNBU

Harriet35 · 28/01/2013 23:39

I have never heard of a park where dogs are banned but if they are banned than that is it, and they shouldn't have brought the hound.

FuzzyClutter · 28/01/2013 23:43

Well I don't go out of my way to take my dog into parks where dogs aren't allowed, but in the last 9 years of dog ownership I would be lying if I said that it had never happened (think mid winter, pissing it down, using a shortcut type scenario rather than hanging around the play equipment on a sunny summers day trying to scare kids) Obviously it's much better for me to take my dog to a field where he can have a good run off the lead. I live in a rural area where 'parks' aren't the same as cities, my local park would be lucky to see a single soul for at least 6 months of the year :)

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