To have complained about this dog being in the park?

[TangoPurple]

The deed is already done, so it's more a case of was i unreasonable?

Today we've had the first bit of sunshine in months!

I picked dd up from school and took her to the park. It's inside a local council run museum. The park is at one end of the place, with the museum and attractions at the other. Free entry for everything.

Anyway, after spending ten minutes in the park, a family turned up with a dog in tow. The parents were sitting on the grass playing with the dog, off its lead, while their children played on the slides etc.

Well, my dd is terrified of dogs. That's the reason we specifically walk the extra length to go to this one as it's strictly no dogs allowed. DD noticed the dog right away and had a mini meltdown. I explained to the couple that my dd was frightened and that dogs weren't allowed (as detailed on the sign on the main gates you have to pass to get in the place).

They just said they'll be sure to keep the dog on the grass. It's the first nice day in ages and their kids wanted to come to the park. I said, 'well so does mine.' They said something about their dog being a puppy (a really big puppy) and it couldn't be left at home alone.

I went up to the reception/gift shop and told them there was a dog on the grounds. The member of staff left saying she'd tell the family the dog would have to leave.

So me and dd spent ten minutes walking around the gift shop before heading back down. The family were taking their time packing up their snacks and bottles etc, with their kids upset about having to go home so quickly. The parents said (very loudly!) some parents should stop letting their kids be so 'feared of everything'.

Their kids seemed really sad to be leaving so early. One of the girls was the same age as my dd which is why i feel guilty about what happened.

Was i being unreasonable?

YANBU. If it is clearly no dogs allowed and you asked them nicely to leave, that is their problem.

But if there is any way to try and get your DC feeling happier about dogs, you should try it. I mean, I know some people are just scared, but it is a pretty hard thing to be scared of because dogs are everywhere and it is not nice to be frightened all the time.

Sorry didn't see your second post. My mum has a dog as do several family friends. We've also had a 'small pet' session at Rainbows which some girls brought their dogs to. None of its helped. She has gotten much much better over the years, but is still pretty terrified.

YANBU at all. You specifically went to a "no dogs" park to accommodate your DD's fear and to give her a nice day out. It would be different if it was an ordinary park where dogs were allowed - then you would be interfering with other people's enjoyment of the place.

I agree with mrs

Dogs are everyday creatures, I think it's such a pity they present so many problems for you both. It's like a disability in my mind

One of the most ridiculous statements I've ever read on here. Not liking dogs is like a disability? As someone who hates dogs after being attacked by one and as someone who is disabled, I can assure you there is nothing disability-like about hating dogs. It is rude, ridiculous and patronising of you to suggest it.

But MrsWolowitz, i've been advised against 'forcing' dogs on her. The alternative park is based in the centre of a field rife with dogs out on walks.

This is the first day of sunshine in months. My choices were to go to one she'd refuse to enter as it would involve walking through a field of dogs, or to go to one i could (supposedly) guarantee dogs weren't allowed.

We still encountered two dogs on the way there, and one on the way back, all out walks with their owners on the street. DD wasn't too bad with this. Its the ones off leads she's borderline phobic of.

It's a shame you don't live near me. You could meet Whippy. Parents of fearful children often tell me how amazed they are that their children show an interest in her and eventually ask to pet her.

I have no clue what is so special about her. I can only assume it is because she is small, wears clothes and when she meets you will go into a submissive down whilst furiously wagging her tail, so she ends up kind of winding across the floor on her belly like a snake

I don't really have any out of control phobias, so I'm no help. Maybe a thread in MH might bring about some suggestions?

Good luck with working on your DD's fear of dogs, especially challenging as she has learning difficulties.
Of course, it would be a lot easier to help her learn to be calm and relax more if the sodding dog owners would make their animals stay calm, under control and not unpredictably rushing around, sniffing at crotches and bouncing up at people who really don't want that level of intimacy.
That's before you even get to the growling.
Loveliest dogs we ever encountered were assistance dogs and gun dogs, calm, obedient and fantastic recall. Worst are usually family pets with entitled owners.
'Oh, Shittyarse is just being a friendly boy. Loves rogering random strangers, licking babies and playing skittles with toddlers.'

Dog owners were being very unreasonable. Why would anyone think an off lead puppy is acceptable in an area that stipulates no dogs?

When you approached they should have dealt with it. Certainly if two adults were present one could have left and walked the dog, the other stayed with the children. I can't abide lazy dog ownership.

When you had to go to gift shop and get the management to ask them to leave they should have left with good grace. Bit off to criticise your parenting when theirs was hardly an exemplary example for their children.

My dc's know fine well that if they want to go to the park then the dog gets a damn good walk first. Privilege of puppy ownership.

If the place says no dogs then I would not take my dog there.

I'm very PFB about my dog and I truly believe that he can be a little shit can never put a paw wrong, however if there is a no dog rule I wouldn't take him there. There are enough places to go that welcome dogs.

Also OP you really should help your daughter with her anxiety.
The little girls who live next door to me were terrified of dogs, howling and shrieking and trying to climb up mum's legs. We taught them that not all dogs are scary and now when they see my dog in the front garden they say "Look its my Naysadog. He waited for me to finish nursery because he loves me so much" he's actually just out for a poop but I don't tell them that

I'm not comfortable around dogs. I can share the world with them and don't go into a meltdown around them, but I don't like them and I would be really annoyed if someone brought a dog into a specifically dog-free place.

We were in a restaurant when this gigantic pony of a St. Bernard walked over to our table, sniffed my son's food, and sniffed him. He was petrified. The owner was just sort of casually strolling up behind him saying "Oh! He's harmless!"

That's not the point. I should hope your dog is harmless.But, sticking his nose into our food and faces is not OK. I told the woman that my son was afraid of dogs (as was obvious from his expression) and she just acted like we were BU. The bar tender said "Oh, he's just a big old sweetie" and I had to say "The dog touched my son's food. Please bring him another plate." (My son is pretty finicky and won't finish food if a fly has landed on it or anything like that.)

Some people just don't like dogs though- it is not a fear, it is more an indifference. Also, some people ate allergic to dogs- my DB has severe asthma attacks if he touches any dog hair - if it got on his clothes for instance. We couldn't visit my gran when we were younger as he would have to stand outside her house as she had a dog. When she visited us my Mum bought her clothes and a coat to ensure no dog hair was on her- it was that bad. In my mind, it is not a dog owners choice to make the assumption that someone doesn't want to be near their dogs because they are scared of them!

TangoPurple I was phobic of dogs as a child, and I lived on a farm with three dogs! Used to climb up my mother at the sight of them apparently must have been very annoying child I now have a dog and wouldn't dream of going into a No Dogs Allowed area. Apart from anything else those areas were created in response to understanding the risk from children coming into contact with the poo of dogs who had not been wormed properly, you had the 'ealth and safety moral high ground as well the perfect right to go tell Percy the Park Keeper.

Oh it irritates the life out of me how some dogs owners feel that because their dog is "nice" they can go where they like.

I've got 3 dogs. There's a park with a play area at the end of my road. I don't take my dogs there because 1-they aren't allowed off lead and 2- because as much as I love dogs, and my dogs love all people not every one agrees that my dogs are adorable.

So we go to the dog park, where there are huge signs at the entrance letting people know that off lead dogs are allowed.

No, YWNBU to ask them to move and report them.

It's a shame your dd is so scared of dogs though, are you happy with dogs yourself? I only ask because my aunt is very wary of dogs and was always shouting to my cousin "oh get away from that dog it might bite you" and as a result my cousin is also terrified of dogs.

d0oin same thing happened to me, a woman actually pulled her toddler into the traffic because I was walking with BigDog. We were about 20ft away from her at the time.

My son's fear of dogs is based on his being chased and knocked down by a neighbour's dog when he was small. I'd like him to have positive interactions with dogs, but we don't really know any dog people well enough to do that. I think he was OK with a dog that belonged to a little boy he knew. He just got used to that dog. It's unlikely he'll ever be a dog lover, though.

I have a dog and I don't think you were being unreasonable at all.

The park I take my DD to has an area where dogs are not allowed and if our dog is with us, we don't go in there.

My neice is terrified of dogs, mine is admittedly a bit crazy and jumpy when new people come in, but my parents dog is so calm and laid back that we call him a potato. My brother took my neice to my parents house loads and encouraged her to stroke the dog and say hello when she arrived, and then let her get on with playing while the dog would lay at the other end of the room, and she would become quite relaxed after an hour or so knowing that he wouldn't hurt her. It's really helped her as there used to be dogs on the school run route and she would get really anxious but it much better now..

My dd was exactly the same as yours, she has run in the road in the past to avoid dogs.

She would go into a melt down in one was in the same park, even if it was no where near her.

YWNBU - they shouldn't have been in there with a dog.

YWNBU. It was supposed to be a dog free zone. I have a dog, and I respect the rules.

I think OP is describing a child who has a strong terror of dogs. Not a mere dislike. Any phobia is life-limiting by definition.

Tad dramatic!!

YWNBU. I don't take my dogs into dog free areas. I can understand why some people might chance it but to have it off lead and argue with you when you pointed out the rule is just completely out of order.

I was scared of dogs as a child and now have two. I do think most children grow out of it naturally and get a bit annoyed on these threads when people go on about "not letting" them be afraid of dogs and how parents need to "deal with it". It's pretty healthy and normal to find dogs intimidating if you are kid imo. They can hurt you, most of them only accidentally, so I don't even think it's irrational!

I don't think OP is enabling her child's fear of dogs by going to a place where no dogs are allowed. It's a sensible way to have a nice time. Just like me not having balloons at my own child's Birthday parties because he is balloon-phobic. Dogs and balloons aren't obligatory.

The OP can't help encountering dogs at other times and I'm sure she does the best she can to calm her child and stay calm herself, so not making things worse.

I agree that encountering well-controlled dogs is the best treatment in the long run, but it has to be done in a gradual way.

Dooin- I like the sound of Whippy (a whippet I presume)

Yes exactly its called self preservation. All a young child is demonstrating is a need to preserve themselves from an unknown aggressor(in their minds) but on MN it is a mental health issue and life limiting?? I can't say it has limited my brother's life who lives a very luxurious life indeed!

A Whippet X, she is the approximate size of a large cat.

YWNBU, if the place was clearly signed no dogs allowed.

However if I'd heard them making loud comments about my parenting I'm not sure I'd have been able to resist making equally loud comments regarding people who teach their children that rules can be broken if they're inconvenient!