to not understand why so many people are 'proud' of babies rolling over, crawling, walking etc?

[HiggsBoson]

Unimportant bollocks I know, but humor me :)

I have a 3yo DD. Lately I'm noticing more and more people on facebook and in general conversation going on about how very proud they are that "DS rolled over" or "DD crawled"

As for toileting

I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD Crawling, walking or taking a shit. I mean, these are human bodily functions and surely no reflection on your offspring's intelligence or your capability as a parent? So what's to be proud of?

Sure - when DD is a little older and does something for someone else of her own volition as an act of kindness, then yes, I might be proud of that. If she helps people and achieves happiness for herself and others then I might also be proud of her for that. But rolling? Nah.

Am I being a twat?

[McNewPants2013]

rolling, crawling etc

Do you realise there are some children that will never do these things

[usualsuspect]

Mr Greensleeves speaks sense

[HiggsBoson]

Phew twokids thank goodness :)

Greensleeves thankyou for your DH's intelligent contribution.

[FeckOffCup]

I think YABU to think that parents shouldn't be proud of their child when they achieve something new even if it is something that most children will do like walking or rolling. I am proud of my 2 year old for starting to be able to carry out a conversation that makes sense (in toddler rationale world anyway) even though it's nothing out of the ordinary at her developmental stage, it gives me great pleasure to see her turning from a baby into a child who is growing up more every day.

I do get the facebook thing though, I have a friend who shares every word/drawing/action that her PFB does and then wonders why people's reactions to it quickly become "meh" or .

[Branleuse]

if you don't want to read peoples status updates, you can always delete people.
you are being a twat

[TandB]

I agree with Babooshka. There does seem to be a bit of a trend for competitive apathy - good term!

The vast majority of loving parents, particularly first-time parents, are going to be captivated and delighted by their baby's milestones, particularly when it's something that he/she has been trying and trying to achieve for ages.

I'm pretty realistic when it comes to other people's interest in my children, and I don't go on about them at length, but I did post on Facebook when DS2 unexpectedly got up one day and walked across the room, without taking any previous steps.

If people are irritating you by going on and on about their children, then block them or hide their posts. But if it's any mention of milestones or achievements that's annoying you then, realistically, you need to get over it. It's perfectly normal and nice for people to be proud of, or pleased for, or delighted with, or whatever they choose to call it, their children's little achievements.

It's not ugly. It's lovely. What a weird thing to say.

[threesocksmorgan]

so now the op says it is not "an SN debat"



twat

[wewereherefirst]

I think its bloody brilliant watching a baby go from a tiny scrunched up screaming being to a walking talking mess monster. I am amazed that I have created two bloody amazing children and I will tell my family on facebook about their milestones.

[HiggsBoson]

What I mean Threesocks is that the posts from those with DC with SN go without saying!

[Softlysoftly]

You've said you tell your dd you are proud at every step, other posts you say you don't see normal things as something to be proud of.

As I said swinging.

[usualsuspect]

The OPS attitude is ugly and joyless and she probably thinks she is oh so cool.

[HiggsBoson]

I meant every step METAPHORICALLY!!

Jeez

[pigletmania]

No op I think I read your op completely right. No I know it's not an sn debate but you say crawling, rolling over is automatically done, not in all chi,dren and when you have a chi,d with sn you won't be sp blade about it

[HiggsBoson]

Happy - YES :)

Proud? I dunno.

[gwenniebee]

YABU. I am flipping proud of my 6mo dd for just about everything she does! I remember feeling proud of her when the midwife said her heartbeat was "lovely" at an ante-natal check.

Every achievement should be celebrated, the smaller you are, the smaller those achievements, but it should still be celebrated.

[mixedupmary]

Yabu - I was proud of my dd when she first rolled, sat up, clapped, waved, fed herself etc etc.

In fact my heart swells with pride everytime she learns something new. I just find it amazing watching my baby grow and develop. Yes shes my pfb but so what

[pigletmania]

Yes Higgs you do sound like you haves bee in your bonnet have a and relax there are worse things to get your knickers in a twist about

[Yfronts]

For me it wasn't pride - I simply took a lot of enjoyment in watching all my children take first steps/talk etc. It is truly amazing and very cute. I've loved watching my friends children progress too

[HiggsBoson]

Hmmmm.....

[TandB]

But it's not a question of SN or no SN. Every baby is an individual, and every family is different.

No two parents will have exactly the same hopes and fears, and no two parents will experience the same emotions when they watch their babies reach milestones.

A parent of a child with disabilities may be absolutely delighted when their baby finally rolls over at 10 months. A parent of a child without any apparent disability might see their baby roll over at 10 months with a mixture of relief and faint unease that there might still be something wrong. A parent of a baby who rolls over at 2 months might be relieved that their family will stop nagging about their cousin's baby who allegedly rolled over at 2 days old.

There are all sorts of emotions tied up with being a parent. Some of those might be ugly. Pride, love and pleasure in their child is never ugly.

[HiggsBoson]

So IABU then

I'm very self depreciating, perhaps therein lies the rub.

I honestly DO big DD up all the time, but I feel uncomfortable sharing it :(