to not understand why so many people are 'proud' of babies rolling over, crawling, walking etc?

[HiggsBoson]

Unimportant bollocks I know, but humor me :)

I have a 3yo DD. Lately I'm noticing more and more people on facebook and in general conversation going on about how very proud they are that "DS rolled over" or "DD crawled"

As for toileting

I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD Crawling, walking or taking a shit. I mean, these are human bodily functions and surely no reflection on your offspring's intelligence or your capability as a parent? So what's to be proud of?

Sure - when DD is a little older and does something for someone else of her own volition as an act of kindness, then yes, I might be proud of that. If she helps people and achieves happiness for herself and others then I might also be proud of her for that. But rolling? Nah.

Am I being a twat?

[TheBigJessie]

I have never, ever bothered about whether my child sat up first, last, or in average time, whether mean, modal or median average.

But I still felt thrilled to see them do it. Because I find the development of small tiny human beings interesting, especially those I love.

[MurderOfGoths]

"I tend to think based on my own observations that by the time you have had one child you actually see pretty quickly that all DCs, but particularly babies, all develop at their own rate?"

That doesn't mean that people wont be proud and want to talk about what their later DC's have done.

I know my friends who have more than one child are just as likely to talk about when their 2nd/3rd/etc child rolls or crawls.

[TheBigJessie]

All DCs, but particularly babies, all develop at their own rate?

Which is doubtless why it's still interesting when your fourth child sits up! Seeing a child progressing at their own rate is wonderful!

[gazzalw]

We must have just been slack then ....

[coff33pot]

Its quite simple really. In answer to your two questions in your OP, you are definitely being unreasonable and yes you are a twat.

[Greythorne]

I DID NOT post to be beaten with a SN stick trying to make me look a cold hearted cunt.

For someone trying not to be perceived as cold-hearted, that's a very cold-hearted thing to say.

[TheBigJessie]

Perhaps you over-did it too much with the first child?

[dottyspotty2]

Funny really its not a first born thing at all I can remember when all mine crawled pulled to stand and walked can even remember the day my youngest laughed for the first time they're 21,18 and 17 now

[Greythorne]

Parents are proud of their children. Grandparents are proud of their grandchildren. People take pleasure and pride in their offspring. It's a good thing. Most parents are highly, highly involved and invested in their offspring, for evolutionary reasons. Getting a buzz or feeling of pride from seeing your particular child do something that is a biological trick which means parents put themselves out for their own kids and not their neighbour's kids, who are, objectively speaking, equally cute and clever and good at rolling.

I for one am glad people are proud of their kids minor and major life events. I know I am. When DH gets home from work I tell him all about the tiny things the DC have done and he laps it up and listens avidly. Anybody else would be bored rigid.

As for FB, just don't go there. Delist yourself (teminology fail?) and your life will be a lot less annoying.

[Pigsmummy]

I love when my DD does something new, I recently put one of these on FB and family who don't live near were delighted to hear about it. FB is for family and friends not the general public so why not put it on there?

Yanbu but you are being a bit of a miser, if it really pisses you off then unfriend them on FB?

[threesocksmorgan]

MrsDeVere I love seeing you pics.

I don't think it is a pfb thing, yes I love sharing about DS and what he does,
but dd has to work so had to do the smallest thing I am dammed if I am not going to share it.

[Ullena]

My late mother never once told me that she was proud of me. She would expect me to achieve very high standards and would be very openly disappointed if I failed. After a while, I just stopped telling her what I had been doing at school, work, etc. As far as I know she was the same when I was a baby too.

Never really clicked until I saw how my elder sisters would praise their children for their acheivements. I remember wishing someone had done that for me. I mentioned it to my father, who assured me that they were both very proud of me, and not to be silly.

That was, and still is, the only actual time he has told me that.

[TandB]

If you do decide to walk the streets of east London with your photo album, please do tell me so that I can come and video people's reactions....

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

HiggsBoson - a couple of things occur to me.

Firstly, the things you are considering as not worth parental pride are indeed small things, when considered from the viewpoint of an adult who has been doing them for years, but each 'first' is a real achievement for the baby/child - I think that is what people are celebrating.

Secondly, whilst I do accept that most of the rest of the world may have little or no interest in the fact that little Xavier has just said his first word, or done his first poo in the potty, little Xavier's mum has every right to be pleased with his achievement.

I also think it is no bad thing for a child to know that their parents are proud of them. Yes, as a previous poster said, it isn't good for a parent to create a situation where the child achieves just to make their parent proud, nor is it good for a child to receive out-of-proportion praise and adulation for every single thing they do, good or bad - but knowing that your parents think you are special is very important - and perhaps a bit of public boasting is part of making your child feel special. I can remember a little glow of happiness when my dad talked about mentioning an achievement of mine to his colleagues - before the invention of Facebook and the internet, when you had to do your boasting face to face!

[MollyMurphy]

Aw I don't care who doesn't give a shit or how many other children do the same things. To see MY child try so hard and come so far - I am endlessly proud of him. We are his parents, his cheerleaders - why shouldn't we be?

Are we really so jaded that we can have a little joy and pride over our little-ones journey?

Anyone who is a real friend and not just some facebook groupie shouldn't be put out over hearing about a milestone or two. Either see the post and care or don't. Facebook is fraught with mindless posts about what people ate or pooped that day - that is the culture of it. Not my thing personally but hardly worth hiking your judgy-pants up over.

[BackforGood]

What *LingdiLong said on the first page
Of course it's exciting when your little one achieves their milestones

[Locketjuice]

Yabu. You have never been proud of your children?! Charming!

[PignutSalamander]

I confess I have not read this whole thread but I needed to add this
I was told dd may never walk or have conscious control of her bladder / bowel when she had her first pee, I was over joyed ( didn't put it on face book though I'm with you on that )
Every pooey nappy I change I thank my lucky stars is not a colostomy bag. Rolling, crawling, walking you have no idea of the unreserved pride I feel seeing her do these things, actually not all kids do.
Don't knock the little things

[phoenixrose314]

I am an Early Years teacher and those 'pointless' milestones you seem to be ridiculing are actually hugely important markets of their development and growth. A child who cannot follow a finger or toy from side to side at six months may have sight problems. A child who has not made an attempt to talk at 1 year old may have speech delay. And so on. Biologically speaking parents are designed to note these things, because not doing so could be extremely costly to the child. I have seen the consequences of such.

You may not like your friends sharing these things, but so what? They're your friends. If you love then, get over it - because it is essential that they pay attention to these things, to help catch early signs of autism, dyslexia, speech and language difficulties or global development delay.

Just wanted to put a professional pov on it all.

[phoenixrose314]

markers*

[Psammead]

Ha! I feel proud when Dd2 burps it would be hard for me not to feel proud of my girls, really. If your own mother cannot think you are the bee's knees, who else will?

[HiggsBoson]

Locketjuice how fucking ridiculous. I did not say that as well you know Also I only have one DD due to a life limiting illness on my part that prevents me from having any more children. I was told I wouldn't be having her and had an extremely risky pregnancy and birth, so I DO know what it feels like to love and appreciate my child thank you very much

DD knows she is loved very much and that that we are pleased for her achievements, but I do feel uncomfortable with the concept of 'pride'. It feels too self congratulatory to me.

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD

^ You did say that so whats your issue with Lockets post? Are you allowed to express your feelings about our pride for our children but we aren't supposed to comment on your lack of pride, no?