to not understand why so many people are 'proud' of babies rolling over, crawling, walking etc?

[HiggsBoson]

Unimportant bollocks I know, but humor me :)

I have a 3yo DD. Lately I'm noticing more and more people on facebook and in general conversation going on about how very proud they are that "DS rolled over" or "DD crawled"

As for toileting

I've always felt that pride is an ugly thing and hand on heart I have never been proud of DD Crawling, walking or taking a shit. I mean, these are human bodily functions and surely no reflection on your offspring's intelligence or your capability as a parent? So what's to be proud of?

Sure - when DD is a little older and does something for someone else of her own volition as an act of kindness, then yes, I might be proud of that. If she helps people and achieves happiness for herself and others then I might also be proud of her for that. But rolling? Nah.

Am I being a twat?

[TandB]

Then don't share it. But don't be unkind about those who choose to do so.

[devientenigma]

That's right, I am so bloody excited that DS is being tested to see if he could learn to read as a visual learner, remembering what the word looks like. He can't speak clearly and is 12 next month. However I am so excited and have no one to tell. Yes he has SN mobility issues, needs a wheelchair, stairlift etc SLD, ASD, PDA, DS, heart condition etc etc, I just want to shout look at him.........mind it could be a non starter and could even take years but who cares I never though we would do this!!

[HiggsBoson]

Again - obv if your child has SN then yes, tell all - of course you shoud. I won't say that again.

[Elderflowergranita]

I do think you seem joyless, and I love the term 'competitive apathy'.

It is a joy to see children achieve milestones, why not immerse yourself in that happiness?

Lord knows there are many difficult days that we all experience as parents. I think it's really important to acknowledge the little joys.

[13Iggis]

I am proud of my older child who has just leaned to swim, and proud of the baby who is learning to crawl. Neither has required particular intelligence, but rather lots and lots of effort - so maybe it is their perseverance I am proud of.
I never did 'get' why parents made such a fuss about milestones till I had my own child - when you see how completely helpless they are, and then they manage to stick their feet in their mouth for the first time (for instance) it really does seem an achievement worthy of note!

[Elderflowergranita]

Too many 'joys' in my post .

[devientenigma]

Sorry I just hijacked the thread to tell someone, anyone, cos I know peeps on FB couldn't give a shit tbh

[pigletmania]

Don't share it just with immediate family

[HiggsBoson]

Amongst the very many parents I have met, I have never encountered this 'competitive apathy' so I do think that's bollocks.

[TwoKidsAndCounting]

Some people are taking this original post completely out of context, if I'm getting it right anyway!? Why is everyone slating OP for having an opinion about certain types of parents who like to express their feelings in public about things that maybe she feels are certainly not unimportant but don't need shouting from the rooftops. This has nothing to do with intelligence or SN children unless I've got it wrong altogether. But give OP a breAk!

[devientenigma]

I didn't slate OP just got something off my chest that I've wanted to share for weeks.

[threesocksmorgan]

devientenigma I do. that would be brilliant

[HiggsBoson]

Nothing to do with SN whatsoever :)

Why is everyone slating OP for having an opinion

Because this is MN

Give 'em another thread and they'll be right fucking bitches -just being holier than thou for now :)

[TandB]

But you can't dictate who should and shouldn't feel in a particular way.

So if a parent of a child with SN is "allowed" to share their achievements, what about a parent with an older SN child, and a younger child who achieves their milestones much earlier? Are they allowed to share their amazement at their first experience of the usual milestone timetable?

And what about parents who have lost a child? Are they allowed to share their delight in their surviving children?

Or a parent who has suffered PND? Can they share the pleasure they never used to feel in their baby?

Or what about someone who took years to conceive? Or someone who is a lone parent with absolutely no support whatsoever, who is doing it all entirely alone? Or someone whose mum died a few weeks ago and who is concentrating on the good things in life?

And if all those people are allowed to feel proud, then why can't parents with no apparent "issues" or problems share their pride?

Again, there's nothing ugly in pride or pleasure in a child. I would say that begrudging others that pride and pleasure is the uglier sentiment.

[devientenigma]

Could be a long slog and its my request not the profs but hey I figured worth a go.

[13Iggis]

devientenigma really hope the reading works out for your ds.

[threesocksmorgan]

well I love reading about someones child who has done these things. I always smile and try to remember to like the post.
I don't want people to go down my "path" so am always glad for them if things go well

[nametakenagain]

My DD (3) told me today how she can now pick her nose, which she couldn't do when she was a baby. I am so proud.

[threesocksmorgan]

kungfupannda good point
I know I celebrate ds's stuff more because of dd

[devientenigma]

Thanks 13

[HiggsBoson]

Silly post Kungfupanda and you know it.

[threesocksmorgan]

no it wasn't, it was a very sensible post

[TandB]

Why?