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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at being called a selfish cunt at a concert?

270 replies

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon · 27/01/2013 10:17

Just got back from a concert in town and although it was fantastic it was spoiled for us a bit. I'm sure IANBU, but perhaps need some perspective.

Friend and I had seats at the end of a row, in the back corner of the arena so looking diagonally towards the stage, next to us was a woman perhaps in her late 70s/early 80s which was a bit surprising, we'd expected more to be with our own age group but other than being mildly surprised we didn't give it a second thought.

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering like the majority of people there and a woman leans over from a few seats above & behind us and yells "you do know you two are the only ones stood up in this section don't you, why don't you sit down so other people can see" in a very aggressive tone. We said we're sorry but this is a music concert, strange as it is that this particular section seems to be filled with boring old farts people not wanting to dance actually 95% of the arena are on their feet. She yelled again that this poor woman next to us couldn't see and we ended up having a row where we explained our reasons for standing and she called us various names and eventually left. We felt a bit uneasy then but not sure what to do, our enjoyment would be spoiled by having to stop dancing/waving/cheering but of course not wanting the lady next to us to have her night spoiled either. We offered her our aisle seat to sit in so she would be in front of us and our standing wouldn't get in her way but she turned it down so we tried to get over the row and enjoy ourselves.

Ten minutes later the other woman comes back, on her way to the toilet passed behind us and yelled "I hope you're having a good time you selfish pair of cunts!" before stomping off. We were Shock and tbh a bit upset. Didn't retaliate, so hopefully retained the mythical moral high ground but still it took away from an otherwise good night.

What would you have done? We paid the same as everyone else, we went there looking forward to dancing and jumping about as is usual at concerts, almost everyone else was, if the older lady couldn't stand then there were disabled seats available but she had booked a standard seat. We did offer her ours but she turned it down and from what we could see everyone else could have stood up if they chose. We weren't allowed to move and stand anywhere else. AIBU?

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 27/01/2013 19:43

I would perhaps be more open to sitting at a concert, but even then depending how poppy/dancey/upbeat the artist was I might be a bit Hmm at being made to sit.

But at a gig they can fuck right off. Sitting for Rammstein?! Shock Fuck that. If the band are setting fire to the stage then you can sod sitting politely for a game of soldiers.

ComposHat · 27/01/2013 19:45

I've never called anyone a Cunt to their faces. I want to though.

Perhaps a Ronan Keating concert would be a good place to start.

I could maybe get on stage and say 'ladies and gentlemen for paying 60 odd quid to watch this middle of the road pap, you are all a bunch of cunts. Those of you who plan dancing in front of old people are double cunts. Now enjoy the show.'

IceNoSlice · 27/01/2013 19:45

AIBU to have never heard of Rammstein? Blush

mayorquimby · 27/01/2013 19:46

think the other people in attendance were fsirly accurate in their assessment

StuntGirl · 27/01/2013 19:52

Thank me later ice Grin

Original poster
TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon · 27/01/2013 19:54

Wallison Shock Grin

Thank you to those who have understood, I really didn't want to ruin anyone's evening but we felt a bit rock/hard place and did try to be as accommodating as possible.

Getorf funny you should say that, when I was about 12 I went to see Boyzone (hmm... wondering if I should have admitted that on this thread) and my mum's friend offered to take me, he is humungous, 7ft something and we had seats on the floor/non raised section, he got asked by the stewards if he could stand at the back because people (also standing) couldn't see. (He did move btw).

There was a few stewards last night quite close to us, of course we would have moved if they had told us.

OP posts:
Growlithe · 27/01/2013 19:54

For the love of Jeff can the OP tell us what Ronan was actually singing that you could dance and jump about to?

ComposHat · 27/01/2013 19:59

AIBU to have never heard of Rammstein?

They are German Industrial band beloved of the greebos, sexually frustrated teenage boys and my mate dodgy DC, who inflicted their entire oeuvre upon me during a six hour car journey.

SpicyPear · 27/01/2013 20:03

growlithe think 45+ age bracket, quite a lot of them with daughters, doing a mixture of swaying, bopping, side shuffling and that Mum dance where you bend your arms up by your sides and sort of swing your hips side to side a bit.

Growlithe · 27/01/2013 20:05

I'm 45 this year SpicyPear. I'd better get practising. Blush

MmeGuillotine · 27/01/2013 20:06

Rammstein is my 7YO's favourite band. ;)

Dark Side, the situation wasn't ideal but having actually seen a photo of the O2 last night when the gig was going on, I can see that there was precious little space for ANYONE to have a bit of a dance should they so wish although like other posters I had no idea that Ronan K did dancey songs! :)

PessimisticMissPiggy · 27/01/2013 20:07

YABU seated tickets mean seated.

Having seats in the gods of an arena and having to stand up cos some selfish people in front are stood up really isn't my idea of fun.

SpicyPear · 27/01/2013 20:10

I can hook you up with my DM grow, she'll show you how it's done Grin

EmpressOfThePuddle · 27/01/2013 20:13

Um....

So I might not be able to see and would just have to suck it up? Sad Maybe I should take a box to stand on. just in case.

StuntGirl · 27/01/2013 20:18

Yep Empress, pretty much. Depending which gig you go to you might also get a) pushed around in the pit b) drinks spilled on you c) kicked in the head by crowd surfers d) all of the above Grin

ComposHat · 27/01/2013 20:31

Thankfully there aren't many gigs that I've wanted to go to in these massive arenas and none that have been all seater.

But op the key is the all-seater bit and is I understand it is not uncommon with artists who attract a more mature following and play fairly sedate music, then the gigs are all seater. As far as I am concerned, if the seat is there you should blooming well use it. If there's people seated behind you, doubly so.

If you want to go to a gig where you can sing and dance with abandon, you need to be looking at smaller venues and, dare I say it, better music.

ravenAK · 27/01/2013 20:37

My 8yo likes Rammstein too.

MEN is crap for this sort of thing; last time I was there, years ago (either Muse or Marilyn Manson) the stewards spent all night chasing punters with seated tickets vaulting the barriers into the (sold out) standing bit.

I'd probably have seen if I could go to the loo/bar & then wander into a bit of seated where rockin' to Ronan was deemed acceptable. I wouldn't've been able to relax & enjoy dancing knowing the rest of the stand was daggering my back all night.

bringnbuy · 27/01/2013 20:40

Roman bloody keating :) not exactly 'heavy groove' is it. now if it had been Prodigy i would have been dancing naked on my chair & NOONE could have stopped me :) but roman keating......

MmeGuillotine · 27/01/2013 20:42

I once ended up in seated at the O2 for My Chemical Romance (friend bought tickets so not my doing) which was hideous as I am terrified of heights. The stewards had no problem letting us into the (sold out!) standing bit when I had a bit of a weep at them about it so you could always try that if you either a. want to have a dance but everyone else in your bit is sitting down or b. can't see over the head of the person dancing about in front of you. ;)

jamdonut · 27/01/2013 20:58

Am I considered old for a rock concert? I am 48, DH is 52. there were older people than us at the Muse concert!! I like to Rock Out like anyone else,but I just don't want to stand for the whole 2 hours they are on, you know? Just have a sense of what the people behind you are doing before you decide to stand.

shesariver · 27/01/2013 21:01

Well obviously cunty ladies favourite RK song isnt "When you Say Nothing at All" is it!

ComposHat · 27/01/2013 21:15

Not too old to rock n'roll at 48.

Mind you I did go to Patti Smith / Television gig a few years ago at what is now the academy. It was all standing and sold out.

The crowd was made up largely of ageing punks with paunches, the girth of which the venue hadn't calculated in their capacity. It was an extremely tight, sweaty and uncomfortable fit.

Great gig though. But then I'd expected nothing less.

stifnstav · 27/01/2013 21:40

I can only think of two RK songs, both of which have been mentioned up-thread and neither of which I would ever consider dancing to.

One of them might cause some mellow finger-clicking, maybe a foot-tap at a push.

But definitely no dancing.

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2013 21:43

If you go to a gig and seat, the rule is to follow what the rest of the crowd around you is doing. If the norm is to stand, its fine. If its not, you are being a gigantic selfish prick. This varies enormously depending on the artist you are seeing, so there is never ever a set 'rule'. In fact during some gigs people will sit for some song and sit for others depending on the song. You should be aware of what other people are doing at all times. A crowd is about being part of of a collective group experience which includes strangers, not alienating others just because they aren't in your group or gang.

Not to mention you can dance perfectly well sat down - after all the space you have when you are stood, doesn't exactly lend itself to spectacular dance moves. It is not a compulsory part of "having a good night".

If you can't handle this, don't get upset when others get pissed at you ruining their experience or make sure you get standing tickets...

... and just so you know there's also standing ticket etiquette; which also goes along the lines of respecting and understanding the behaviour of the section of the crowd you are in. Dancing in a certain way in certain parts of the crowd can also equal twatty annoying selfish behaviour.

This is called "Having consideration for other people".
Not a difficult concept to understand.

YABVU not to understand this.

PS You deserve to be flamed as much as possible on this thread for admitting to have such piss poor music taste.

SwedishEdith · 27/01/2013 21:52

I've got Life is a Rollercoaster now as an earworm because of this thread Angry Grin

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