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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my colleague ive got feelings for him?

77 replies

emilysheart · 25/01/2013 21:55

I've realised i have got feelings for someone i work with.he's with someone but he has made it known to me that he's not happy in the relationship and i have had signal from him in the past that maybe he likes me. he is moving to another department soon so if i tell him now an he laughs in my face at least i won't have to face him on a daily basis. if i don't say anything i think i might regret it

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 25/01/2013 23:54

how do you know she is cheating

I ask this for the second time

can you tell us that ?

PickledInAPearTree · 25/01/2013 23:55

how do you know?

how?

calling her skanky is really shit to be honest.

WorraLiberty · 25/01/2013 23:56

You know this wife who's not actually a wife do you?

You know all about her skulduggery?

I don't think I've ever typed that word before but I must use it more often.

AnyFucker · 25/01/2013 23:56

is there not another "L" in there ?

PickledInAPearTree · 25/01/2013 23:56

I'm jumping in worra budge up.

Casmama · 25/01/2013 23:58

Christ this thread has gone a bit tits up!

Glad you are going to back off OP. Whether or not his relationship ends needs to have nothing to do with you. If he likes you, respects ou and wants a proper relationship with you then he will end his relationship and come to you when he is free to do so.

Sorry to say I wouldn't hold my breath though - it does have the hallmarks of my dw doesn't understand me, please suck my dick to comfort me etc.

WorraLiberty · 25/01/2013 23:59

I thought there was but Google started to reprimand me with a squiggly red line and I got nervous and bowed to its pressure Sad

Pickled I'm loving the budgie smugglers.

Original poster
emilysheart · 26/01/2013 00:01

yes it is shit of me to call her skanky i apologise for that i know because he told me and another workmate about it he is trying to do right by his dcs which like i said is not my business but he told me that he doesn't love her because of the cheating.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/01/2013 00:03

YABU. Duh. Gah, have you no self-respect?

expatinscotland · 26/01/2013 00:05

Oh, yes, the age ol' 'He told me.' Must be true then. And he's moving to a new department. End of the world there! Get a grip, emily.

Original poster
emilysheart · 26/01/2013 00:12

why would anyone lie about being cheated on? AIBU to think not all men are lying scumbags?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:14

well, you believed him, didn't you ?

you feel sorry for the poor, put-upon gagging for it man

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 00:16

You are being very naive if you think that.

The fact that he is married with three kids and hugging colleagues and giving them the glad eye is enough to make me suspicious.

If he was a decent sort I would expect him to sort out his marriage and provide a bit of stability for his kids before worrying about where his next girlfriend is going to come from to be honest - even if that means leaving her.

You sound like your reading a hell of a lot into one hug.

It all sounds wrong.

And there are three kids, and worra is drowning..

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:18

and I have made a massive fashion faux pas with my yellow stuff

oh, the shame

Casmama · 26/01/2013 00:22

Aw OP - you disappoint me! I though this was one of the ones where the OP gets it and walks away from potential probably serial cheater but you are still making excuses!

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:23

Them's the breaks, Cas

Casmama · 26/01/2013 00:25

No you are not being unreasonable to think that not all men are lying scumbags. You are however being a bit dramatic about this point - no one said that- and YABU if you have no suspicions about this guys behaviour.

Casmama · 26/01/2013 00:27

I know AF but call me an idealist- I still always hope for the OP who says " fuck, you are all right, I am being unreasonable!

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:29

Some do, cas, it's not an unreasonable hope to have Smile

Casmama · 26/01/2013 00:31
Grin
WorraLiberty · 26/01/2013 00:37

why would anyone lie about being cheated on? AIBU to think not all men are lying scumbags?

YANBU - they're not

This one however, could well be.

Either way, he's in a relationship and the ins and outs of it are none of your concern.

I used to work with someone who claimed his wife 'didn't understand him'

But to be fair to them both, she was Mexican.

JaambaJuice · 26/01/2013 00:40

I think if you really like him then wait it out. If he's not happy in his relationship then it will eventually end.

You also need to be careful about being the rebound girl.

I dated a guy who was divorced once, he never told me how long they had been divorced. He fell in love with me and proposed in a very short amount of time (3 weeks) and then after 3 months he ended everything.

Found out that he had got divorced in the June and we had started dating in July. I was definitely the rebound girl, and it was only me that ended up being hurt.

Original poster
emilysheart · 26/01/2013 00:45

i did say quite a while ago that i might be being ridiculous and i wasn't going to do anything. im not going to do anything it is none of my business and it can't end well so guess what...im not going to do anything. i will make excuses for him because he hasn't done anything wrong

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/01/2013 00:50

I'm glad you're not going to do anything but I still don't know how you can possibly know for sure that he's done nothing wrong in a private relationship.

You might be right of course...but you're talking as though you know you're right and you can't possibly.

On the plus side, I've just had an email to say you've won the Nigerian lottery.

Can I have your bank account details to pass on?

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 00:53

There must be two jackpot winners tonight. I had an email too.