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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I don't actually HAVE to leap to answer my phone if I don't want to?

97 replies

HecateWhoopass · 25/01/2013 17:05

Because my husband is driving me up the bloody WALL with it.

I don't have to stop whatever I am doing and find my phone if it bleeps. It's a text. I can read it in a bit.

If I am busy and the phone goes, the person will leave a message. Or I'll check the number and if I recognise it - I'll call them back.

So why oh why does my husband leap up and pass me my bag as though the damned thing will explode if a text is not answered at once?

It's not a royal bloody command. I can get it in 5 minutes, for crying out loud.

Pavlov's ruddy dogs. That's what it is. Drives me potty.

OP posts:
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 25/01/2013 17:06

Yanbu. We have two lines at home (one home/one business). If I don't answer one of those, DH will try the other or my mobile. I end up having to trot around the house, just missing each of them as they go to voicemail.

PiggyPlumPie · 25/01/2013 17:06

Hell no!! MY phone is for MY convenience and no-one else's!!

nickelbabe · 25/01/2013 17:07

no, you don't.

the telephone ringing is an invitation to you to answer the call.
it's not a demand.

Cactuar · 25/01/2013 17:07

YANBU a ringing phone is a request not a demand!

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 25/01/2013 17:07

And if I do get up and rush to answer one, it's usually some bastard trying to sell me something.

boodles · 25/01/2013 17:07

A phone ringing is an invitation to answer not an order. I often ignore the phone if I can't be arsed to chat. Unsociable person that I am.

Original poster
HecateWhoopass · 25/01/2013 17:08

Glad it's not just me Grin

He can't ever just not answer the door either.

I can sit there and watch tv. If you're a charity collector or religious caller - I ain't opening the door and I don't CARE if you can see me. Hell, I'll wave and smile. But I don't HAVE to open the door.

My husband, otoh, has palpitations at the thought of it. Hmm

OP posts:
Schnarkle · 25/01/2013 17:09

Drives me bloody mad. Yesterday my mobile rang out 3 times while I was upstairs changing the baby. Immediately after the 3rd time, the house phone rang. The same person demanding I speak to them.

If I don't answer the mobile I'm dead or busy. Either way I don't want to talk.

BinkyWinky · 25/01/2013 17:09

I physically can't leave something ringing, it drives me up the wall Blush

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 25/01/2013 17:10

^the telephone ringing is an invitation to you to answer the call.
it's not a demand^

Unfortunatly that explanation didn't cut with my boss when i worked as a Receptionist Grin

SpicyPear · 25/01/2013 17:10

YANBU. That is what voicemail is for.

KindleMum · 25/01/2013 17:11

In complete agreement with you. I do not answer the phone when I'm too busy - which is quite often, and often for fairly boring reasons like I'm changing a nappy or bathing the kids. Ansaphones are there for a reason.

I also turn my mobile off when I go to bed and have several friends who think that's really awful too. Apparently I'm so important I should be constantly available!

Trills · 25/01/2013 17:12

YANBU at all.

That's why I think people are a bit mad when they say they don't like mobile phones because they don't like being on call all the time.

The phone works for you, you do not work for the phone.

Original poster
HecateWhoopass · 25/01/2013 17:13

Or they're so important you should be constantly available for them Grin

Grin hoho

binky - my husband is like you. If it was just his phone, I wouldn't care Grin I just don't like being chased round with mine!

OP posts:
DublinMammy · 25/01/2013 17:14

Agree completely - my mother sits visibly twitching if she is round at my house and I ignore the phone ringing. I would have thought she would be flattered that I am, in effect, telling her that she is more important than whoever might be rininging but she almost explodes with frustration!!

BinkyWinky · 25/01/2013 17:15

My sister's washing machine bleeps when it's done. She can ignore it for hours....

BeebiesQueen · 25/01/2013 17:16

I'm not sure I could not answer the door, although I'd love to try next time we get a cold caller , although what if its important (it may have never been important before but there's always a first time!)

the phone is another matter entirely tho! the only time I check even if its inconvenient is when I'm out and about or if I don't have my dc with me. If dh is home, dc are home, what could possibly be so important. and my family know if its an emergency to call back and I'll pick up if the phone rings immediately again, its like a signal!

StinkyWicket · 25/01/2013 17:18

My DH often does 1471 then follows me round the house asking me if I recognise number 0770-whatever.

No, I don't. And even if I did, they could have left a message and didn't which shows that it can't be that important! Leave me alone Grin

nickelbabe · 25/01/2013 17:18

HoHoHo - i was just thinking that because I have to answer the phone at work too.

it gives me palpitations and i try to avoid it.

I find it easier if I just grab the thing immediately it starts ringing - so it doesn't have time to manifest.

SpicyPear · 25/01/2013 17:19

DH and I are both phone avoiders. If the home phone rings we argue over who's going to pick it up until the answer phone kicks in. Every time.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 25/01/2013 17:23

DS keeps bloody answering it. And then forcing me to talk with whoever it is rather than MNing working.

cateerob · 25/01/2013 17:27

my teenager daughter does not understand how i can ignore my phone hers is obviously permantly attached to her, she does not understand that a text can wait, it does not disapear if you dont read and reply at once, also the intercom, we live in a flat, if you want me to answer the door you better let me know you are coming

My ex was a big one for the 1471 if he didnt recognise the number he would call them back even if they didnt leave a message.....

badtemperedaldbitch · 25/01/2013 17:29

My dh will answer the phone a day track me down with it even if I am in the bath.

Conversely he gets really agitated if I do the same to him!

amazingmumof6 · 25/01/2013 17:29

I totally agree. you can come & live here, I will not bug you!Grin

I generally get it if it's there and convenient, If I'm waiting for answer or such, but there could be a hundred reasons why I can't/won't pick up the phone or read a text as it rings/beeps. I too refuse to be a slave to it!

I'll get it when I get it! if I hear it, but can't go I'll get it when I can.
(MIL and some friends tend to annoy me about this, DH is too busy with his own things to worry about my phone!)

besides when I text people they forget to reply too or it takes 3 days to get an answer, so clearly it's not that important to others either, and they don't expect me to jump either!

calls are different, that could be urgent, but if I'm wiping baby's bottom or having a shower or driving - tough cookies!

when the kids are at school I keep an eye on it, in case there's an emergency, but if I don't want to be disturbed I turn it off or ignore it, so what?
I tend to ignore it at the weekends too.

so ignore him, you have my permission to do what you like.

(or next time he jumps give him a cookie and say "good doggie, great fetch!" that might stop him!)

quirkychick · 25/01/2013 17:29

hecate my dp is exactly the same! Before I lived with him (lived in different city) he once phoned an ambulance because I couldn't get to the phone.

I had a migraine and had spilt something all over kitchen so ignored ranted at constant ringings on mobile and landline, while he thought I was terribly ill. I had to explain to the ambulance service over the phone that I was, in fact, fine.