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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I don't actually HAVE to leap to answer my phone if I don't want to?

97 replies

HecateWhoopass · 25/01/2013 17:05

Because my husband is driving me up the bloody WALL with it.

I don't have to stop whatever I am doing and find my phone if it bleeps. It's a text. I can read it in a bit.

If I am busy and the phone goes, the person will leave a message. Or I'll check the number and if I recognise it - I'll call them back.

So why oh why does my husband leap up and pass me my bag as though the damned thing will explode if a text is not answered at once?

It's not a royal bloody command. I can get it in 5 minutes, for crying out loud.

Pavlov's ruddy dogs. That's what it is. Drives me potty.

OP posts:
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 25/01/2013 21:40

Yanbu

androbbob · 25/01/2013 21:46

Just reading this thread and chuckling. So my mobile is in kitchen and goes 'beep' as a text arrives. So doesnt DH bring my phone to me as I didnt jump up to get it!! Might be important he says. No only DSIL telling me its snowing where they are.

Really made me chuckle!!

ArkadyRose · 25/01/2013 23:19

My OH used to come running to bring me my phone whenever it rang. After the third time of me looking disinterestedly at the number then hitting disconnect (thereby sending the caller to voicemail) he got the message and now he doesn't bother unless it says it's one of my daughters.

He used to answer it for me until I made it quite clear that was out of order. It's my right to choose if I want to answer a call or not, and he had no right to tale that decision out of my hand and then inflict the caller on me. After a huge row about it he got the message.

He still epects me to answer his phone when it rings & he's busy though! Hmm

AdoraBell · 25/01/2013 23:34

My phone, either mobile or house only rings if I'm busy. Home phone rings if I cook regardless of the hour and mobile when I'm driving. Yes, I do know I can synch it with the car's Bluetooth bollocks, but I'm still driving, so either wait or fuck off.

And breath. I feel better nowSmile

nickelbabe · 26/01/2013 11:39

My dad refuses to leave a message and then gets really annoyed if you don't answer.

he says "what's the point of having a phone if you don't answer it?"

i say, if i'm unable to answer the phone, i have an answerphone. if it's really that urgent, leave a bloody message!

meddie · 26/01/2013 12:24

my mother lives around the corner from me. She rings and will let it ring until its cut off. She usually times this with me having a bath. She will then ring my mobile a few times, once she even stormed round to my house and banged on the door, when I eventually got out of the bath, came downstairs and answered the door, obviously wet and in a dressing gown she was very irate that I hadn't answered the phone even though I was in!
At this point she couldn't even remember why she had been ringing in the first place.
She has been known to ring me at work,(I work shifts, so out all different days and times) to tell me that she has been ringing my house all day and I didn't answer.

JohnSnowsTie · 26/01/2013 12:26

nickel that's what annoys me about a friend of mine. She'll ring several times and not leave a message, then eventually will leave a really snotty message about not being able to get hold of me (because I should always be available when she wants something). So really she sees a missed call from her number as a summons for me to make contact. But in my book, no message = no urgency. Why she can't just leave a polite message first time is beyond me.

Also I'm at the start of many friends' contacts lists alphabetically, and I've lost count of the amount of phonecalls I've had from the bottom of someone's handbag or under someone's arse... so no mesage can also mean "Whoops...!"

perceptionreality · 26/01/2013 12:27

yanbu!!

Binkybix · 26/01/2013 12:36

People have a go at me if never answering my phone, but it's not compulsory. It's not just if I'm busy sometimes I can't be bothered to talk. YANBU!

diddl · 26/01/2013 12:36

I only have a landline, which I answer when I want to.

I

MammaTJ · 26/01/2013 13:48

Most annoying phone habit is when someone rings on the landline, finds it is engaged then rings the mobile. Why would they do that? They know I am on the phone.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 26/01/2013 14:25

My phone is permanently on silent.

If I happen to be close by and see when it rings I may answer it.

Otherwise, tough. Send me a text or e-mail. Better yet, carrier pigeon.

amazingmumof6 · 26/01/2013 23:45

carrier pigeon it is!Grin

amazingmumof6 · 26/01/2013 23:48

meddie bloody hell, mothers!

with all due respect your mum needs to finally cut the umbilical cord and let you be. can you tell her to get a puppy or a new hobby?Smile

Xmasbaby11 · 26/01/2013 23:53

I would always answer the phone or door immediately and same with texts/emails. I am so curious and love hearing from people, I can't resist! And it is usually friends who contact me.

amazingmumof6 · 26/01/2013 23:58

mammatj I/we do this, sorry

but only coz I know that FIL could be occupying the landline so I call MIL on mobile then.

same with BIL/SIL1 - landline engaged coz kids chattering to friends so I ring round all the mobiles until someone picks it up

or friend is on landline for work. but I want to speak to her DH, so try mobile.

no-one seems to mind, but I guess if you are obviously alone in the house at that time and the callers knows it has to be you on the home phone, yes, that's daft.

what do you think?

amazingmumof6 · 26/01/2013 23:59

BTW, I call landline first simply because it's cheaper or free....is that unreasonable?

drizzlecake · 27/01/2013 07:57

Yeah, yeah, I get that everyone is sposed to leave a message but for some reason it never sounds sensible when I leave one. MOre a garbled tale with me forgetting to leave name or number then having to ring again to add it.
Specially if it's someone I don't know.

drizzlecake · 27/01/2013 07:59

Better add that 'no' I don't phone random strangers, I mean someone I don't know like a plumber with me asking for a qoute.

andtheycalleditbunnylove · 27/01/2013 08:38

i don't answer the phone if i don't want to. why should i?

DonderandBlitzen · 27/01/2013 08:45

YANBU. If people expect you to always pick up the phone immediately then they are assuming that what they have to say is more important than whatever you were in the middle of doing.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 27/01/2013 08:52

My mobile phone is rarely switched on and it takes me about 3 weeks to respond to texts. People have given up texting.

MousyMouse · 27/01/2013 08:56

yanbu
my parent are like that. they fish out my ringing phone, giving it to me nearly dropping it as they get in a right panic that I might not answer in time.
I'm with the op. I don't answer if I don't want to and call/text back when it suits me.

SJisontheway · 27/01/2013 09:23

Wow - so many phone avoiders. Thinking
about it, my friends can be divided into two categories - phone avoiders who never answer the phone and will call you back when they see fit, often a few days later.
The phone answerers answer the majority of the time, unless they are in the middle of something important, but will call you back, usually within a few hours.
Thinking a bit more about it, the phone avoiders are also terrible time keepers. They seem to believe their time is more important than anyone else's.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 27/01/2013 10:44

I'm an excellent time keeper. I just don't like mobile phones. Ring me on the landline and I will answer straight away. Send me an email and I'll get back to you within a few hours.