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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To help a man <shock> who had run out of petrol?

52 replies

BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 22:39

Would you stop and help some poor random standing at the side of the road with a petrol can?

He was facing the wrong way to the nearest petrol station for a start and it was still snowing.

I passed him thought poor bloke and turned my car back to offer help.

I had DC in the car, he was out of area and so so gob smacked and grateful I stopped.

It took 10 minutes out of my day to get him back on track but when I told a couple of friends what had happened they were shocked at how I had compromised my own safety and my DCs safety.

Was I bu?

OP posts:
SoleSource · 23/01/2013 22:41

Yabu I would have ran.over him just incase

Hegsy · 23/01/2013 22:41

YWNBU I think it's nice to be nice. And would hope someone would do the same for my husband/step father to be

IamtheZombie · 23/01/2013 22:41

Zombie thinks you were very kind. Compromised your safety? Maybe, but Zombie would think in the circumstances you describe, highly unlikely.

Well done.

WorraLiberty · 23/01/2013 22:43

So your friends think you should never stop for anyone?

Or do they think the only people who randomly attack good samaritans are penis owners?

Either way YANBU to show a bit of human compassion.

MarkGruffalohohoho · 23/01/2013 22:45

You were being a good samaritan. I picked up a male hitchhiker once who was equally grateful and surprised I stopped.

Well done you.

As for risk-taking yes there are inherent risks to helping anyone, male or female or indeed accepting help from anyone. But not all men are rapists and if you had helped out my DH to get home I would be incredibly grateful.

TheDetective · 23/01/2013 22:45

I rescued an old man in a similar scenario. I was 24 weeks pregnant and his car was stopped outside my house on the main road. He looked distressed - he must have been in his 70's. The car was blocking the road, and people just going around him. I helped him push the car round the corner off the road, and then took him to the garage for petrol.

He was very grateful. I'd like to think someone would help me in the same situation.

YANBU.

Original poster
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 22:46

Grin @ sole

He was stranded the one and only petrol station within 10 miles is a set behind the local pub and they fill your car up for you.

DD (9) said "what if he is a bad man" I told her good karma for an adult will be paid back but children don't talk to strangers because that's my job Grin

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 23/01/2013 22:47

The sad truth is that we are conditioned to believe that 99% of strangers are out to mug/rape/kill us.

It is worth being on your guard, but you did the right thing. Karma will pay you back, you know!

CointreauVersial · 23/01/2013 22:47

Grin Karma cross-post!

HollyBerryBush · 23/01/2013 22:48

Why wouldn't anyone help anyone else in distress?

MrsKeithRichards · 23/01/2013 22:49

Well done! Someone done something similar for dh once saved me getting out of bed to help him

baffleddad · 23/01/2013 22:51

good on you!! ive always stopped to help a fellow motorist..helped several very pregnant ladies with flat tyres or batteries, once asked a lady broken down in the middle of nowhere if she needed help & got told to f off.. biggest mistake was to offer a lift to a chap with a guitar, we had gone 100 yards when he asked do i believe in god..... in nearly 30 years of motoring as a van truck car & tractor driver ive never murdered anyone...... yet;)

Original poster
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 22:53

worra sorry I didn't see the recent posts.

I questioned the male v female part especially as I ran put of petrol with a newborn in the back and no one helped me.

Apparently you must not stop and help men out because they are so male and organised the only reason they would allow themselves to run out of petrol is because they hope a vulnerable ickle women like me will offer help and then the fun can begin Hmm

Think of the children! If we all stop helping those we see in need what will become of the world

OP posts:
SanityClause · 23/01/2013 23:06

My DH is far more likely to be in need of your assistance than I am, because he hates filling a car up with fuel, so he will drive on fumes for miles.

Then, I get in the car, and realise it needs fuel, and make sure I get some, as soon as possible.

So, I will thank you for looking out for men like my DH, and hope that when if it happens to him, there will be someone like you around!

LanaDelRain · 23/01/2013 23:08

No that's a lovely thing to do.

Sometimes you need to be aware though that it could be a scam. I remember seeing on The Real Hustle, they pretended to break down (in a rented car), people stopped to help them and then the hustlers stole their car.

Original poster
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 23:12

holly I think people are being more selfish as years go by.

I help when ever I can from people falling in the street to crying people, a tissue or offer of mobile can be a good send.

My Dh is the complete opposite although now after many years together he has learnt that it is easier to pullover before I start moaning that he needs to turn round.

Last one was a lad who had crashed his dads car n a country lane, he was in shock and I gave him a hug whilst we Waited for help to arrive.

DC and Dh were sat on the car giving mums in help mode to randoms look Smile

OP posts:
kim147 · 23/01/2013 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ethelb · 23/01/2013 23:12

It was a loverly thing to do and has made my dat.

However, a general safety point is to stay in your car and not let them into yours while you help. This shouldn't be a problem with someone who is not a crook! Grin

ethelb · 23/01/2013 23:14

@kim how awful for that girl. and How wonderful you saw her and not after you ehad about that staged accident.

I had a friend refused help after being robbed by a group of men on motorbikes last week in a local shop as they had previously be scammed by people claiming they needed help Sad

Original poster
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 23:18

Hustlers can have my car as long as

A they realise screaming children are a distraction

B traka will start to hunt them down within seconds

C I would always pop my keys after locking my car into my pocket when stopping and needing to get out of my car.

I didn't get out of the car once btw.

OP posts:
ethelb · 23/01/2013 23:20

Keeping your keys in your pocket is a great point and one I will keep in mind. Thanks OP.

What's traka? iPhones are quite good in this situation the policeman told me whan my friend was in trouble and said to make sure you download that app that lets you track it, as that can lead to the crime being dealt with straightaway or dropped to the end of the pile (not that he worded it quite like that).

LanaDelRain · 23/01/2013 23:20

Then I shouldn't worry about it Bluelights you sound very clued up about potential risks Smile

I know a friend once drove by someone just lying on the side of the road, it was in a wooded area too, she stopped to help and turns out they were just drunk.

It never entered her head how dangerous it could be.

IamtheZombie · 23/01/2013 23:24

Last summer, Zombie had a flat tyre on her way to hospital for her radiotherapy appointment. She managed to wrestle the spare and bits & bobs out of the boot before realising that 4 months of chemo and 2 weeks of radio had left her in no condition to complete the job.

So, there's this bald lady standing by her disabled car at the side of the road and not one single sod even slowed down, much less offered to help.

Luckily the mobile phone had a bit of charge left in it and she was able to get in touch with the school and they let DZoH leave to come rescue her.

Original poster
BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 23:35

Oh zombie Sadi just can't comprehend people passing and not helping Sad have a double.

Maybe it is just built in me, I've piled in tp stop fights in my distant past.

I just wondered f others felt like me because my good friends dont.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 23/01/2013 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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