AIBU to think there is a problem on MN discussing anything at all to do with income

[amillionyears]

There are a lot of threads started nowadays, that are causing offence to people who are on low incomes.

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

I dont know if the answer is for those with more income, to not talk much about anything, or those with less income to let them talk about what they want to talk about.

I dont know the answer to all of this.
I would like both sets, or indeed anyone in the middle, to be in harmony on MN!

I too feel great sympathy for the problems of the rich and wish we could have more threads comparing the merits of different diamond pot scrubbers.
It's terrible that the povos think that it's not really a problem.

Hully I have to delurk to say how sad I am to see no empathy and care about your friend's Mum. Can no one imagine how tough that many hours a day of physical labour is? Would the poster who compared it to being a head teacher really feel equally happy for their own DC doing either pattern of work?

I do think working hours for a lot of people in 'professional' jobs can be life destroying so not at all unsympathetic to the teachers who are sticking it out.

Isn't the real shame the change from being automatically interested and sympathetic about the lives and challenges of others to being ready to judge criticise and blame at every turn. Or perhaps I'm just getting old.

"you could look read these threads, and think of your recently-redundant, depressed husband and your stressful job and the fact you have been told there is NO overtime, and feel a flaming is well deserved."

But its not that simple. I earn average wage but my DP was in exactly that situation until up until two weeks ago. Depressed, fired horibly from his job (as I was one year ago).

However, posting my average wage would have howls of 'we would feel RICH beyond our wildest dreams on £25k" neglecting the fact that that is gross, we live in London, rent, have student debt and aren't entitled to any benefits (except JSA) because of it. (BTW I was well aware that we had a lot more money than many other families on MN and we priviledged in the fact that we did manage to break even as many don't).

So what is poor?

Dromedary
I don't think that is true. I think that most people with lots of money feel very grateful and don't feel the need to talk about it. So you are assuming that the people on here moaning about the dazzle from their diamond shoes are all the rich people. Whereas everyone on this thread could be stinking rich but just don't feel the need to mention it nor feel the need to plead relative poverty.

Hem hem, I think I may know one of the threads you mean.

Total sense of humour failure going on in some parts of MN.

Children are starving in Africa so we are not allowed to have a laugh at our own expense...

1. Piano tuning.

Any more?

just the piano tuning (unless it is for work ) ;)

ehthel are you just going to ignore my answer to you about the difference between her and the headteacher?

Was it a bit inconvenient?

amillionyears - really, yet ANOTHER thread about what's wrong with mumsnet? You're a bit of a glass half empty person aren't you?

I know, Isabeller, I know.

It explains a great deal about the demonisation of the poor.

@Isabeller I didn't judge or criticise. I don't have no empathy and care about Hully's friend.

I just asked why she should get empathy but not the headteacher who is also working longer hours.

see answers above ethel^^

@Hully sorry I was at the hospital and haven't read thread. I will have a look now.

Northern
Amillionyears loves mumsnet.
She is just trying to make us all better posters.
I think we should get behind it.

"mumsnet : let's be less wanky"

oh wow, I see people have actually claimed I have said things I didn't.

Weird.

have to go out now

Ethelb

I don't think anyone with half a brain would describe you as rich.

Someone upthread has mentioned a seperate topic may be a good idea.
A squeezed middle topic?
It may not be used much, it may be. Who knows.

But at least then, some MNetters would know to avoid the topic,if they chose or wanted to.

Currently there is money matters, which doesnt quite cover what we are discussing, I dont think.

And credit crunch, which is really for those that are brassic.

It's a bit naive to say in the middle of a recession that people should be able to ask for advice about how to manage on/spend their very large incomes without any comeback. Get real. The gap between rich and poor in this country is getting ever wider. Why should someone on £17k not make a snarky comment about someone on £80k being unable to afford something unnecessary? I would.

@ubik really? so what is?

I think that is the problem here. And why many middle income earners feel a bit miffed. I am in the camp that doesn't think that a £40k salary in London, renting with a family and no free childcare is well off. (However they should be able to break even). I wouldn't describe someone with a duel income (v different to single income with sahm) with a £60K income in the same sitation as rich.

But plenty on MN do and start doing competitive poverty. It detracts for the real poverty in society imo.

~By the way there is a thread for rich people on MN. Look at the investments thread and prepare to be amazed.

But @persimmon is that £17k net or gross? Do they qualify for tax credits? Do they have a council house or housing benefit?

Do you see the problem? It's not clear.

Indeed ethel I have probably not fully understood your point. Apologies if I am being a dark coloured kitchen utensil.

@isabeller wtf?

I self edit to a massive degree on MN because of my financial situation. Partic as a less prolific/well known user. Have seen too many and comments to open myself up to that.

I remember one particular thread (it was a while back) when a women was really suffering from PND and her HV recommended she make use of the local surestart centre. She was totally flamed to a horrific degree once she disclosed that her/her husband were middle earners. Told that she was effectively stealing resources from someone who "really needed it'. It was one of the most disgusting threads I've ever seen.

Oh and that poor woman who wanted to buy a nice handbag to remember someone by - fuck me, she was totally vilified by some.

It's not just having a moan about not being able to afford private schools but eg if you try to discuss certain situations and don't mention salaries, you can then eg get asked "are you claiming all the benefits you're entitled to?" which can sometimes lead to a "FFS, if you're not entitled to benefits, then your life must be fucking perfect and lovely and stop moaning".

Not to say there aren't some fucking deluded head in the clouds nutters with more money than sense but they don't really last that long round here, do they?