To ask if anyone has regretted their choice of bridesmaids?

[AnnaLou82]

Are you still close friends now?

Has anybody gotten married without bridesmaids? If so who organised your hen do and helped out on the day?

Yes I only had my DSD and she was only 9

I did it all myself - it was fine

I wanted my two sisters and my two teenaged nieces. And then MIL asked if I could possibly have SIL as well. Somewhat taken aback I agreed, even though I'd not even met the girl. Luckily she was and still is lovely :)

No regrets at all. Despite some raised eyebrows because one of them wore trousers and refused to wear the headdress. I didn't care. I wanted her there and if I'd pushed her too far out of her comfort zone she would have pulled out.

I had my brother
Finest bridesperson I could have wished for
Cost me a tie and a buttonhole
Was my rock

I had four bridesmaids - my two best friends. One of my friends has two daughters that were aged seven and about 18 months at the time.

DH and I agreed very early on that there would be limited / no family involvement due to ructions at a previous family wedding.

I also organised my own hen-do as another friend (not the bridesmaids) had ideas about male strippers. Not my style so I organised my own in a bid to avoid anything like that.

I had my friend of 10 years, she became my SIL, after the wedding she decided she couldn't be my friend anymore because it was too weird, I don't see her very often any more. I don't regret it, it was a long time ago, things change and people move on.

I just had my, then 3 year old, DD1. She was wonderful, looked very cute so obviously no regrets.

I was going to ask my SILs but at the time we couldn't afford to buy their outfits so it felt unreasonable to ask someone to be BM and not pay for their dress, so I just stuck with DD.

I remember just after we got married having a conversation with one of DH's employees soon to be wife. I asked her how the wedding plans were going.
Her: oh it's a nightmare! The bridesmaids are driving me mad, they keep arguing over dresses and they won't choose anything. Were yours the same?
Me: nope, I just had DD and as long as her dress flies out when she spins she doesn't care!

My sister organised my Hen do but she had already put her foot down with me that she was NOT going to be a bridesmaid. I guess she was a sort of honorary BM though - she helped me get ready etc but she didn't have a dress, shoes, flowers etc.

I had a best woman. DH is foreign and is Best man, we were getting married in the UK when we dont normally live there, and I needed someone who would take over a few of the traditional best man roles. She is now godmother to DS. I dont see her as often as I'd like but that's because we live in different countries.

No regrets, didn't have any (another bit of money saved!)
Just did the organizing myself and, get this, got myself dressed - it's not rocket science.

I was one of six bridesmaids at my aunt and uncles wedding. It was lovely. Really meant a lot to me, as I was recently ill with ME at the time, and wasn't sure she would still want me involved because I was on a stick I had to have a lay down after the service and use my wheelchair for part of the evening do, but I managed to get through the day.

Still in touch with the other five bridesmaids - two are my cousins, but still speak to the others sometimes as well.

I had best friend from childhood and a cousin who I'm very close to.

At first, thought "wtf have I done" as BF lives on another continent and I hadn't physcially seen her for about 3 years, and thought "maybe this is totally awkward?" particularly when she asked what she was supposed to do. When I had been a bridesmaid, I'd worn a dress, appeared in photos and carried flowers, so had a low threshold. So, I said I don't know. I refused to have a hen night (the logistics of it were too much to bear and we were having 2 weddings + other stuff, so I felt I'd had wedding celebrations covered).

Anyway, it was great. She kind of steered me around and helped me out the weekend before and the day of the wedding. On the morning of the wedding (ended up in a random hotel as the place we'd rented was noisy) she came in and then got me to where I was meant to be, put DM in her place when she got too needy and then tolerated about an hour of really bad jokes (nerves) while we waited for the ceremony to start (one of the friends involved in the ceremony was late). My cousin organised their outfits (again, fortuantely on same continent and in same country as friend, but not in same city), helped look after me, danced like a maniac, and was amazing.

I do!

I had my DSis as my main bridesmaid.

I had to wear quite a frumpy dress as my Dh's family are quite old-fashioned (looooong story!)

DSis chose this incredible dress, much nicer than mine and had everyone letching at her bottom all day. I felt quite overshadowed.

Still rankles as I am feeling pretty shit with morning sickness atm and feel it's hard to look as good as I'd like right now.

< hopes haven't outed self >

balloon

I ended up having 10 bridesmaids , my 2 sisters , 2 cousins who I am very close too,my best friend who I see practically everyday and 5 of my nieces. Don't regret a single one!

Nope.
They are still my best friends.

1st wedding I had 5 (sounds awful but was my 2 BFs and XH's 2 nieces plus another close friends daughter).

I still see both friends but we are not that close anymore. I do not see XHs nieces at all but I am still close with my friends daughter.

One of my BFs had an actual fight with another guest and the other one had a row with her boyfriend who was flirting with the barmaid!!

2nd time I had my SIL and niece. We are very close and I feel I chose for the right reasons this time rather than who I thought I SHOULD choose.

I had no one as my darling cousin (bridezilla from hell but I love her) had the cheek to have her second baby just before we got married abroad!
5 mins after the ceremony I phoned her long distance to tell her I was now MrsKatieScarlett, she made me promise before I left to do this.
I regret not postponing the wedding, I missed her dreadfully. ( I must remember to tell her that at the weekend) 18 years and I still regret it.

However people need to do off with the bridesmaid no. snobbery,

If I had the rels,money I would have loads! couldn't give a flying anyone passing comment I'd have to assume had Hyacinth Bucket inserted up their arse.

I chose to have no bridesmaids. Have no sisters/nieces etc anyway.
Instead, one good friend did a reading in the church and another was a witness.
No regrets.

I had my daughter who was 3 at the time, my niece who was 9 and my youngest sister who was about 15.
I had a very nice, informal, small wedding with only a few friends and family.

I had no bridesmaids, no hen do and we didn't have a best man. I had a hairdresser, and a make up lady. I got myself into my dress with the help of DM, no faffing with it was required after that.

DH managed to look after my wedding ring himself.

I had two - my soon to be SIL (no regrets) and my then best friend. We had always said we would be each other's bridesmaids, and even though we hadn't seen each as often in the few years leading up to my wedding were still close (we had been school friends, lived abroad together before then.)
I didn't ask my cousin, even though my mum really wanted me to as she has no other female relatives and would have no other chance to be a bridesmaid, but I was adamant that my budget wouldn't allow it and it had to be the two I'd picked.
A year later, bf announced her wedding - and didn't ask me to be hers. I was gutted, and still regret that I asked her and not my cousin.
Weddings! Thank God it's all over - hated the whole politics of it all and am so glad I will never, ever have to go through it again.

I was happy with my chief bridesmaid and my niece but DH's SIL pushed her way in so she wasn't left sitting on her own in the church and was a PITA. And I haven't spoken to her in 4 years.

I had my sister and niece (dh's sister's dd), so would be hard to regret my choices really - they are both still very much in my life. My sister was a bit overwhelmed by the role and cocked a couple of minor things up - she was only 21 and the only adult bm - but I've never said anything to her about it and wouldn't change it either as it was all part of our day. I would probably add a couple of friends if we were getting married now - people I didn't know when we got married.

I am returning the favour for my dsis this year, along with my dd, and am trying my best to do a good job.

I regret not having one of my two oldest and closest friends. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to have the time off work until a few weeks before and by then it was too late to get another dress/flowers etc. sorted out. I wish I'd just asked her and bought her a different dress to the other two, it seems silly now. I asked her to do a reading instead, but I know she'd have preferred to be a bridesmaid.