To ask if anyone has regretted their choice of bridesmaids?

[AnnaLou82]

Are you still close friends now?

My BMs were my 2 lovely cousins and we had laughed and joked all our lives about them being my bridesmaids when I got married (I am older than both of them so it would likely be me first - and it was). Don't regret it at all would do it again. However my 'Best Woman' was my best friend at the time and gave a speech and is in all the photos etc. 2 years later she just disappeared from my life without a word. She cut ties with other friends at the same time. I wrote to her to ask why but never heard anything back. It was very upsetting for quite a while, and of course my DC always ask who she is in the wedding photos - because they know everyone else! I couldn't have predicted her doing that so I can't really regret it - but if I ever got married again(!) I would chose my 2 cousins and another, better friend!

I didnt want to choose amongst my friends so went for the safe option of my sisters, dsil and nieces....all of whom i still love and importantly talk to!

I had a very close friend (now also DD's godmother), my sister and my cousin so no, but I do regret inviting some of the people I did.

i asked my 2best friends, however my 2sisters, 1 sil and 2neices all announced that they too were being my bridesmaids !!
luckily i was quite laid back about it so i had all 7! i was bridesmaid at 1 of the friends weddings, and my SIL.. my sister isnt married yet but i know ill be hers too.. the other friend is yet to marry and the other 3are all 15 & under so weddings along way off!
they were all (except the youngest aged2 who cried all day and refused to have any photos taken) brilliant but my only regret is not asking another female friend whom i have since become alot closer too.. although in my defense she didnt ask me either and has stated that she too regrets that!

Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I still feel quite raw over my SIL's behaviour before, during and after the wedding. I also had my other SIL and my half sister as bridesmaids.

I had always thought we got on well despite being quite different personalities, but I was very very wrong and by having her as a bridesmaid, she really did spoil parts of the wedding for me. The main thing that upset me was that she and the other girls didn't wait for me, DM and a friend at the rendezvous even though we had texted to say we were running late, so we ended up waiting and waiting and waiting in the bloody cold for an hour before giving up! In the end it was good fun just the 3 of us!

The atmosphere was so awful in the morning getting ready for the wedding that I actually left the room with DM, DBro and friend. None of them touched the food or drank the champagne DH had arranged to be sent to the room as a surprise. My half sister was having a major sulk that her hair wasn't curling well. It was just awful.

At the wedding reception SIL's boyfriend got so drunk, he started a row about football with my friend who supported a different team to him and made her cry (and believe me she's a very intelligent independent woman!), he smashed a glass during the best mans speech, he smashed another glass on the dance floor, he groped my waist in a really inappropriate way, he tried to take over control of the music. Awful awful awful.

SIL's beef was also undercooked for her tastes so she got up from her table with her plate and showed everyone on my table and asked DH to ask the waiters to send it back to the kitchen. Embarrassing and could have asked a waiter discreetly herself.

I tried to phone SIL after the honeymoon to discuss why I was pissed off but she never answered her phone so I emailed instead and got a snotty email back denying any wrongdoing and also adding that she hates my Mum

Ideally I would like to never see her again, but unfortunately I don't have that option. I still resent DH for not saying a word about the whole thing either and refusing to admit she was behaving horribly.

Well....totally outed myself there, but quite good to let it all out :o Maybe I need to start my own thread!

Yes and no!

the two bridesmaids I did have I no longer see that often. However, it's not something I dwell on because my choice was based on circumstance at the time. I lived in a different part of the country then and had a different circle of friends.

I have since moved back to my home town and rekindled the close relationship with my oldest friend who I lost touch with while I was living away. She wasn't a bridesmaid, but based on our close friendship now I wish she had of been (she was a guest at the wedding).

Again, due to me moving away from my two chosen bridesmaids we now usually keep in touch by Facebook and the rare visit.

I had my friend, my sister and my DHs sister. I felt a little bullied into having DHs sister - I think shes a bit spoilt. My sister cut off almost all her hair 3 weeks before the wedding (after I had planned hairstyles) and then told me the day after my wedding that she wish she'd never come. I havent seen my friend since the wedding. (May 2012)
Wish I'd asked my now SIL (DHs brothers wife) but at the time she was his girlfriend and I didnt know her very well but we are very close now.

I regret one of my choices now

I had my sister (then aged 11/12) and two close friends. F1 was chief bridesmaid and signed the register, she was my brother's fiancee at the time they met through me I had known her much longer than my brother had. On the day before the wedding she had to sell her car and spent the whole evening making sure everyone knew she was upset about it. The whole evening ended up being about her. DD1 was born about 12 months after the wedding and she barely acknowledged her existence. About a year or so after that she and my brother went through an incredibly messy and painful split, she rang me once after that to explain why none of it was her fault and I never heard from her again. Through all this time I'd been stuggling with depression and wasn't getting on very well adjusting to having dd1 and juggling working full time, no nearby family and a dh working nights. She couldn't have cared less.

That's all massively outing myself if she's on here isn't it?

F2 is my oldest and bestest friend and whilst we don't see each other as often as I'd like we're always on the same wavelength. When she got married dd1, then aged about 18 months, managed to crash the wedding party as a mini bridesmaid even though that wasn't part of the original plan. Her eldest daughter is my goddaughter.

Yep - felt forced to have family members.

But, on the bright side I don't regret them as much as I regret the choice of husband .

Anyway he is long gone and second time around I don't regret anything - no bridesmaids, delightful husband, grey frock, blue shoes and no fecking hair shite stuck on my head.

Yes Tiger, I just realised that my story would totally out me. Ho hum, maybe time for another NC.

I have no sisters and almost from the time I met my lovely best friend aged 13, I said she would be my bridesmaid when I got married. She was my only bridesmaid and although we ended up living in different countries and found it difficult to see each other (work, children, the usual) we were always close and could take up right where we left off.

She died in 2011 of cancer, aged 45, and I miss her all time time.

I am having this problem at the moment, I have recently gotten engaged and am trying to decide who to have as bridesmaids or to even have them at all. I have a large extended family that I am very close to (some more so than others), with 3 female cousins (only one of which I am very close to), 3 nieces aged 6-11 and 2 nephews aged 1 and 5, as well as my gorgeous boy who will be 1 on Sunday :)

The problem I am having is that I would love to just have the one cousin that I am closest to is completely unorganised and I know she will be useless planning anything like the hen night and helping out. I also think that if I choose her to be maid of honour then she will expect me to have her 2 daughters as bridesmaids, which I would love because I have babysat for them since they were born BUT if I ask her dc then I feel like I will have to ask the rest of my dn's.

I want a small wedding that is about me and future DH but it feels like it will be more about my bridesmaids/flower girls/paige boys if my faamily get their way.

Has anybody gotten married without bridesmaids? If so who organised your hen do and helped out on the day? I really wish I had a sister instead of my bloody DB!!

I had my Dsis and SiL. SiL kind of have me no choice, if I was doing it again I wouldn't have her. She was a pain in the neck in the run up and on the day

I had my late sister :(

I wouldn't say we were as close but we're still friends so no regrets
I just wish my best friend would have been one

I've been married twice, the first marriage I had my BFF and my exH's little sister. This time I had the daughter of my BFF and my son. It was lovely.

She arranged both hen nights though, apparently I'm not getting a third

I had my best friend, her daughter, my sister and my cousin and have fallen out with all of them over the last yen years. My little girl was three and we are still friends, yay!

I had my DSis, who I really wanted, and who was brilliant, and my only female first cousin, who was about 12 at the time. I massively regret having her, but didn't have much choice....I was bm for her mum when I was about that age (which was the only chance I got) and she had been desperately waiting for her 'turn'!!!

Obviously she wasn't much use in advance or on the day, and tbh I wouldn't have expected her to be, but we shared 1 hairdresser and she arrived over an hour late to do my hair (luckily mine was really straightforward) as my 12 yo cousin had changed her mind about 3 times about style and my normally very lovely aunt hadn't put a stop to it so the whole thing became about her, and I didn't get to enjoy getting ready so much.....

Decided against asking any of my friends, although they still organised my (many) hen nights for me....I had/have a lot of separate groups of friends and couldn't easily work out who I should/could ask. Looking back, it was the right decision - they were all there to celebrate with me, but by sticking with 'just family' for bms, no-ones feelings got hurt.

I partly do as one of my bridesmaids dyed her hair the same shade of blue as the bridesmaid dresses!!

Bridesmaids aren't required to organise hen do's etc its better to just do it yourself. I spent mine in tears due to my sister, mum and best friend and her daughter.
We should have bloody eloped

I had two very close friends. I went on to be bridesmaid for both of them. One is still a v close friend despite living zillions of miles away. The other "dumped" me as a friend after I pissed her off despite 10 years of friendship and me having put up with all manner of shit in that time Hey ho.

I think I had a lucky escape.

I asked my best friend (from school) to be my bridesmaid. She was thrilled. We had been friends from about the age of 13.

I then asked another friend, not such a close friend, but a very old friend to be my bridesmaid. We had been in school together since we were 4, and I thought we were good friends. She just said no, she didn't want to, no excuses or apologies or anything. I was a bit upset, but thought I was being a bit precious so I let it go and asked another friend, who I had known for about 2 years.

All went well on the day, and then a few days later my mother said that friend 2 (who hadn't wanted to be bridesmaid) had told her at the wedding that she would have loved to have been my bridesmaid. My mother said, "but I thought Primrose asked to you to be her bridesmaid?" and she denied it. Strange.

I had my 9yo niece (only one) but it was only the two of us as no one gave me away.
DSis was a PITA all day but BF of 20 years was wonderful and not resentful at all even though we'd promised we'd be each others bridesmaid since we we're 13!
(And yes I was her bridesmaid - 5 years before I married!)

I had none. It was a small wedding so it seemed silly to have a large bridal party that would have covered a quarter of the guests! No regrets as no one felt left out. My two oldest friends came over to help me get ready on the day and were probably relieved not to have to wear daft dresses!