to be furious with dh for eating cakes he knew were destined for the bin!

[alfrex]

OK. I bake a lot. And sometimes my cakes are beautiful, and we all enjoy them. But sometimes it does not go so well and the cakes come out sunk or burnt or still wet in the middle (if dh would get the fan fixed on the oven this would happen a lot less often, but that's another thread)

There is a system, dh and the children are well aware of it. If the cakes are good to eat, they either go in a freezer bag for later use, or in a sealed tin for use over the week, or on a plate on the side so that they can be eaten now. DH knows this and I never complain about him "sampling" even if th cakes are meant for after dinner or whatever. I bake a lot so there is usually something there if he fancies a nibble.

If the cakes are not up to scratch, they go in the bin as soon as they are cooled (or as soon as dh empties the bin - there's another thread there!)

so this morning dh saunters into the kitchen to get himself breakfast. I come in and find him cramming his mouth with the burnt, crappy cakes that were sitting in the bun tray by the bin. I was really pissed off and had a go at him for it. I can make really nice cakes and I make plenty of them, so he has no need to wind me up and embarrass me by eating the ones that have gone wrong. He know it is a pet hate of mine.

so he strops off to work having called me a "control freak" in front of our children who were sitting having their breakfast. I am Not Happy.

Yes, it is like you proudly display your cake failures, why?
So he can see that you put more effort in than is actually edible?
Why not invest in paper bags to put your failures in until they cool down, when you bake so many cakes that turn out bad?

"Thanks for nothing Mumsnet! "

What did you want? Approval for having such a tightly controlled home baking system? Lighten up and let the poor bloke taste a bit of burnt cake if he fancies it. Also, have a look up next time you go out to empty the bin - you'll see these things with wings in the sky.

Dinner??!

Destination unknown for that

Is this in Classics yet? It's the funniest thread I've read this year!

If Hecate is right about the birdless hut on Mt Everest, it would also explain the cake problem. It is very difficult to make them rise at high altitude. Fan or no fan.

This is just weird:

" I pointed out that the children knew better than to behave like this and asked him why he felt he could not wait for me to put out cakes that were worth eating. He was standing over the bin shovelling them into his mouth, I found it disrespectful".

My children know better than to do things like hit other children, poke their noses and eat it at the dinner table, swear at me. Yours know better than to eat a less than perfect cake?

Thinks a DP might do that are disrespectful - shout at you in front of the children, argue with you over parenting in front of the children, tell you that you are stupid. But disrespectful to eat a less than perfect cake?

Very very very strange.

@ condemned cakes

Just because cakes don't look right to you doesn't mean they are inedible.

I agree with others, apart from being wasteful, you do seem to be a controlling person who denies a nice taste to the members of her family

You are embarrassed if your DH even looks at your sub-standard cakes? Unless your DH is Paul Hollywood then you are clearly being very odd.

Have not RTFT.

Sometimes, for shits and giggles, I like to fashion foods out of other things. For example you could create more cakes using only lard and icing. When your thieving tinker of a husband creeps up to the slag heap of substandard below par confections you have left out for the bin, he will be in for a greasy surprise. Ho ho ho. How's he like them apples!

No birds? Not even a teeny one?

Anyway, why couldn't you use them at the bottom of a trifle or a variation of bread and butter pudding?

Presumably there are no birds because you never put any cake out for them? I can just imagine a row of them on the windowsill watching tray after tray of cakes be put into the bin, there's only so long a sparrow can take that sort of mental torture before it goes to write it's suicide note....

You do understand that your husband is not one of your children don't you? Do you 'scold' him for other misdemeanors or just the ones involving cakes? I feel sorry for the fella I really do.

I too am off to cook dinner for my family shortly, DH better follow my instructions to the letter or he's out on his arse.

YANBU about the cakes OP, YAmerelyBU not to have one of these signs on the cake so no-one can abuse the system by eating anything that is not preapproved by you.

Maybe he's sticking two fingers up to you because you are treating him like a child. He's an adult. If he wants to eat burnt cake, he can eat burnt cake, it's not a big deal.

You however OP, have control issues. Telling him off in front of your kids like a naughty child?? What else is he not allowed to do?

Get A Grip.

Oh and take the hint, no one here agrees with you. It's one of the risks of posting on the Internet.

Plus, why are you wasting cake by throwing it away? Use it for something else or feed it to the ducks or something. It's very wasteful.

You treat him with kid gloves? Have a system for substandard cakes?

Don't forget to pretty yourself up & warm his slippers, he'll be home soon....

This thread is bonkers!

I await the angry husband, who will tell us off...

Dustbin bun tray/intray. Got to have a system (Harry Hill)

Perhaps it's Mrs Crimble and DZh is Mr Kipling.lthere ouldn't be professional rivalry

I sort of (only sort of!) understand where the OP is coming from. I love baking but a huge part of it is linked to my wanting to please people all the time (and who isn't pleased by cakes?).

I get annoyed at myself if things don't come out right because I feel slightly like my self worth is bound up with it all. When people have praised you for years for making things (I know they're only being polite, I really don't fancy myself as the next Dan Lepard) it makes the whole cycle of affirmation and feeling good stronger, which is why when things go wrong, I'm especially hard on myself.

Before I get ripped to shreds, I know this is bonkers and that my baking isn't indicative of my worth as a person but it's hard to break away from that mindset. I still bake though, and if things go completely to pot a bit wrong, I'd still hand it out, precisely because I'm trying to stop this mindframe.

It doesn't sound very fun your your DH though OP, if he's being shouted at for having food that he's chosen to eat. I understand that it might matter to you (perhaps you're a bit of a perfectionist like me) but it's not worth living in a miserable household over a burnt bit of cake.