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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 25/02/2013 18:22

LessMissAbs - very odd attitude to this; completely opposite view to every one else. Thing this says a lot - the majority are the ones with the right idea imo.

The ski chalet belongs to the OP. It is her home. She moved abroad in order to enable her husband to take up a new job. She looks after their child/ren. Yes, they have a rented home elsewhere but they also have a ski chalet. It doesn't matter who paid for it - it is still her home, somewhere where she gets to chose how it is, who comes back, where she makes the rules as she wants. Oh - and so what is the OP doesn't work out of the home??? It does not mean she then has to play host every time anyone wants to visit her home at all!

Some spoilt brat young women totally and utterly took advantage of her, took 4 expensive bottles of champagne without asking, deliberately damaged property, put the OP and her child/ren at risk, swore at her....

It is more than wrong behaviour. It is utterly vile. The women are not children. They are old enough to be made to pay for everything they took, damaged or needs repairing.

It doesn't matter how they came about being there. What they did was well and truely inappropriate and totally unacceptable - under ALL circumstances.

With attitudes like those of LessMissAbs there is no surprising why some people will behave like this is there?

Hulababy · 25/02/2013 18:30

The costs are relevant imo - they show the value of the damagethat the SIL and her friends have caused. Plus it sounds like the OP loves her home a great deal - many people do. If the OP has spent time and money (yes, I am counting all money coming in as family money!) on making it nice, then they are precious/important. Again - not surprising or not normal.

The damage, because of the costs involved, indicate that this is a large sum of money to be found to replace everything/

IMO the HSIL should be asked to pay towards the damage, and I would CC MIL on everything so she is totally aware of what is going on.

GlaikitFizzog · 25/02/2013 19:19

Keep reading hulababy, you have much to catch up with!

Hulababy · 25/02/2013 19:23

Yes - just have done! Better than TV.
I think OP has shown amazing patience now tbh.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 25/02/2013 19:41

I am so glad I read to the end of this thread. I admit that I am very intrigued about the Barry situation! That and weird LessMiss in the middle have made it an interesting thread! OP, your DH's family do seem very odd and I'm glad they won't be setting foot in your home again.

richardsimmonstanktop · 25/02/2013 19:59

Now that Barry and Barry Jr have been thrown into the mix I am totally riveted. I wonder what will happen next? Maybe OP will discover MIL's Barry Jr's mother?

Hissy · 25/02/2013 23:26

[Confused], just Confused

Hissy · 25/02/2013 23:27

Arse! I blame Barry!

ZillionChocolate · 25/02/2013 23:44

Can't believe MiL didn't warn you about the massive age gap. She could have said her new boyfriend likes skiing, he did it on a recent school trip!

WhatKindofFool · 26/02/2013 07:18

YANBU What dreadful people.

Kytti · 26/02/2013 07:38

I began reading this thinking "Oh here we go again with the cleaner / 2nd home bolllocks", but I really feel for you. How awful. YANBU at all!

I threw out my husband's cousin once for being rude and nasty in our home. She hasn't spoken to us since. With some luck, you can avoid these horrid people too.

I'd send them a neatly typed invoice for the cleaning, with photographic evidence. Who cares if they get to the airport? They behaved disgracefully. Just because you have this lovely 2nd home doesn't give them the right to treat you this way.

Kytti · 26/02/2013 07:42

and just seen what LessMissAb* wrote. You nasty, horrid thing hiding behind your pc. Just because OP appears to be monied does not give you the right to be mean to her.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 26/02/2013 08:21

ZillionChocolate - Genius Smile

KenDoddsDadsDog · 26/02/2013 08:34

All I can think about is Big Bad Barry from Ben & Holly !

OnwardBound · 26/02/2013 12:58

KenDodds Grin

I am also wondering why OPs DH is having Big Bad Barry investigated?

Does he think Barry is dating Mum to get to him somehow, being keen to get to know DH as it were?

What does your DH do OP? Is he someone important - a celebrity, media mogul, billionaire, Mafia boss?

The plot thickens!

WhatKindofFool · 26/02/2013 14:19

OnwardBound Did you not see the bit where it explains that he won XFactor a few years ago? Wink

RiffyWammal · 27/02/2013 14:51

LOVE this thread and the update! OP you sound great and you've handled all this very graciously and tactfully.

I'm imagining Barry as Barry Scott of Cillit Bang fame. He could have been useful at the chalet after HSIL's visit - BANG and the foundation is gone! Vomit in the pool? BANG it's gone!

RiffyWammal · 28/02/2013 09:42

Did anyone see Child Of Our Time last night? There was a dad called Barry and a baby called Little Barry! Shock

CadleCrap · 28/02/2013 10:05

The thread that keeps giving Grin

saffronwblue · 28/02/2013 10:12

Wow! What a colourful life you lead OP! Barry son and father has made me laugh out loud.
I have no doubt the dreadful behaviour by HSIL is now completely rewritten with her somehow as the victim. I am sorry the ski instructors have left the
series vicinity. I think they could perhaps be included in the sauna scene with Mil and Barry and Barry?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 28/02/2013 10:38

Shock just Shock

fertilityagogo · 28/02/2013 19:57

Espresso will you come back at some point and update us?

Pleeeeeeease.....?

(You couldn't make this stuff up)

PurpleCrazyHorse · 28/02/2013 20:59

OMG, that was the best 20 mins of my life (sorry OP). All 22 pages of it :)

Very envious of your chalet but you definitely did the right thing kicking them out to make their own way home and how lovely the ski instructors said sorry. Glad you've not discovered anything really precious broken or damaged, at least bedding and champers can be replaced.

Snorted at the thought of HSIL + Big Barry snogging the sauna while your MIL is left (literally) holding the baby Barry!

GinOnTwoWheels · 01/03/2013 06:11

OP - So does that mean that Big Barry and your DH are approximately the same age? Ewwww!

Perhaps he will tire of the relationship when people keep assuming that MIL is his mum, not his girlfriend?

LindyHemming · 01/03/2013 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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