To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

[Winterbluesinmyhead]

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

Why on earth is 35 a 'Big One' - after 5, 65 is first 'Big One' for normal people surely? 25 being a quarter of a century At A Push.

[JustFabulous]

I don't believe the OP. I think she has just been clever at hiding her strop .

[PeachActiviaMinge]

That is a crap excuse for a reverse AIBU I'd bet my last penny that it wasn't but OP is smarting from the comments made

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

What an arse!

[pictish]

Jesus Christ - what an arse!

[BoulevardOfBrokenSleep]

Nah, MadBusLady, 36 is the big one, that's when you no longer tick the '18 to 35' box on surveys and have to move on to '36 to dead'!

[MadBusLady]

I'm not on his side in the sense of his response. I am in the sense that I too would be miffed about my 35th being considered of no account. Just seems a bit "transition into middle age" to me. However, that is probably quite personal to me, no reason why his motive should be similar I suppose.

[JustFabulous]

Peach!

[Diddydollydo]

Your DP is being an absolute nob. (if of course this is a reverse AIBU).

[MadBusLady]

Boulevard There's a thought.

[Ra88]

Grow up ... YABU and v childish!

[HecateWhoopass]

Grown up who has a birthday every year v the one and only christening of a child.



I made sure I read all the way through cos I just knew it was a reverse!

Yes. It is selfish and childish. My birthday my birthday my birthday mememememeeeeeeeeee.

Plank.

[StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears]

I don't even see 30 or 40 as a big one. I think 18, 60, 70, 80 is enough for me. After 80 I want a massive fuss every time just in case.

[Startail]

I'd expect an adult to move their birthday meal or whatever, to a convenient date.

I'd expect a child to do the same thing for a christening, Wedding or Adults 40th etc. party.

Grow Up as others have said.

[ProudAS]

I've got some sympathy with the OP as she'd been assured DN's christening wouldn't clash with her birthday and it not nice to be messed around. Even if she hadn't made firm plans they had still arranged to spend the day together and do something nice.

Whilst birthday celebrations can be moved and come round every year I do think her DP should have discussed it with her before accepting the invite.

[Winterbluesinmyhead]

at the comments that it's not really a reverse AIBU and I was being clever at hiding my strop...

Now I've confessed it was in fact him he's getting called an arse, idiot, etc, ie: worse than what posters put when they thought a woman (me) was the one getting stroppy...that's exactly why I reversed it!

[Yfronts]

Come on, your a grown up and can celebrate another weekend. It's not like you have booked a weekend in Paris to celebrate your birthday and the date is unmovable. You could turn the christening day into something special. Visit somewhere nice on route

[BlackBagBorderBinLiner]

Leave the bastard!!

[FredFredGeorge]

The fact it's a christening and a birthday is irrelevant really.

The question is "Should I do what I want to do on the sunday, over what I've agreed previously to do with my DP."

For me I would not choose a christening of a nephew over my DP, the birthday of my partner sounds like a great excuse to avoid the occasion. But of course the real answer is it depends. A DP should care little enough about their birthday that they can celebrate it another day, but tbh it sounds to me as much that he doesn't want a long drive for a pointless occasion after working the two previous days and is hoping that his birthday might get him out of it. And he certainly shouldn't have to go even if you want to.

[Bogeyface]

Buy him a big suitcase for his birthday, so he can pack all his toys stuff and sling his hook!

I would say that he is being childish, but my 7 year old wouldnt mind something like this in his birthday, and your "D"P is 5 times his age!

[Bogeyface]

And yes, I would have said exactly the same if your OP hasnt been a reverse post!

[StuntGirl]

Gosh do you lot really not celebrate your bithdays? Sod that for a game of soldiers! Sounds like you could all use a bit more enjoyment in your lives, maybe you should take it up ;)

I can understand someone being miffed if their birthday clashes with another event. That alone doesn't make you childish. It's just different expectations and perhaps a lack of communication - both assumed their event was the one that was going to be prioritised. If both dig their heels in now then both are being childish, time for a bit of adult dialogue to try and get a solution that suits you both.

[ScarletWomanoftheVillage]

[OlivetheotherReindeer]

YABVVVVU. How childish, are you 12?

[elliejjtiny]

Well I think your DP is NBU but I am biased as DS3 was christened with none of his aunts or uncles there (DS1 and DS2 had some but not all) and I spent my 30th birthday with norovirus and nothing is going to get in the way of my next one