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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OMG. A thread combining baby sex and MIL. Can't quite believe I'm doing this...

97 replies

Peka · 18/01/2013 13:26

Just had 20 week scan and it's a boy! Yay! So happy, already have one DS and this is great, wasn't actually bothered but just love knowing as now I know his name and he's a little person to me already.

HOWEVER, MIL just called me (DH called her to let her know, he's not at home right now) to say she's happy but ONLY because it's a boy, if it was a girl she wouldn't be. I quite want to break something... AIBU to be annoyed? Actually just venting rage rage rage... don't even care if I am.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 18/01/2013 13:27

So would she be giving you the 3rd degree and blaming you if you were having a girl?

Silly old cow. Hmm

And congrats Smile

HazleNutt · 18/01/2013 13:28

What a cow. Tell her that sonographer called you back for another scan and it's a girl after all.

quirrelquarrel · 18/01/2013 13:28

She's a twit, you're going to have a lovely baby and you don't need to worry about her! Congrats and just ignore, ignore......just know that you won't be bringing up such blinkered people yourself.

Original poster
Peka · 18/01/2013 13:29

I am a girl and so is she. I just don't get it.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 18/01/2013 13:29

did you ask her why she wouldn't be happy if it was a girl?

Does she have a problem with other females?

Woman like that are best avoiding, bit shit if she's your MIL and you can't.

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/01/2013 13:29

^^

What that poster said

pippop1 · 18/01/2013 13:30

How nasty. What's she got against girls?

Original poster
Peka · 18/01/2013 13:30

No, I just sat there in stunned silence. I mean, how do you actually respond to that? And breathe...

OP posts:
mathsconundrum · 18/01/2013 13:31

What a rude of insulting witch.

DeltaUniformDeltaEcho · 18/01/2013 13:32

This is one of those times that you wish they had the wrong sex from the scan - JUst to see her face when you tell her it's a girl!

But anyway, congratulations and Ignore Ignore Ignore :)

Original poster
Peka · 18/01/2013 13:32

I don't know, she didn't want girls, luckily doesn't have any (for the potential girls I mean). She seems to quite like me though. Oh, I don't know! It's all completely ridiculous.

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 18/01/2013 13:32

.. you say 'You are barking' and hang up! Stupid cow. Ring your DH, tell him what she said and tell him that she'd better give you a wide berth!

Original poster
Peka · 18/01/2013 13:33

Chipping ah you made me laugh! Thanks I needed that.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 18/01/2013 13:34

i don't think i'd be able to speak to her again

serioulsy what a mad and dreadful thing to say

SanityClause · 18/01/2013 13:34

My MIL and her sister are definitely more loving toward DS than his two older sisters.

To me this kind of attitude is just weird.

HecateWhoopass · 18/01/2013 13:36

Oh god, what a stupid thing to say.

so if you have another child, and it's a girl- you already know that she won't give a shit about her.

Nice.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 18/01/2013 13:37

That is weird and rude. I think I would have to say something. Perhaps tell her the scan can't ever be 100% accurate and you're concerned about her attitude if it is a girl...

whatsforyou · 18/01/2013 13:37

Do you think she maybe thought you wanted a girl and, in a really stupid, insensitive way, she is trying to console you for having another boy? A lot of people do think you 'need' one of each.
Still an awful thing to think or say but I can't imagine why anyone would come out with such drivel unprompted Hmm

Pigsmummy · 18/01/2013 13:38

If she says anything again just smile sweetly and say "well it's not your child so you needn't have worried either way really" then leave the room or ask something a bit mean, after her bunions or something?!

Congratulations on your blue bump!

SofaKing · 18/01/2013 13:40

Perhaps she thinks as she had boys its the right thing to do? Or she was worried that you wanted a girl and would be disappointed so this is her bizarre attempt to reassure you?

Either is nutty behaviour and can safely be ignored. Congratulations on your new son, I remember finding out with ds2 at the scan and getting a thrill imagining my lovely little boy.
Mil on the other hand said "Oh no" when I phoned to tell her I was expecting ds2. She backpedalled pretty quickly but to this day I have no idea why us having a third DC warranted such an unkind comment.

Punkatheart · 18/01/2013 13:41

Oh dear...the sarcastic side of my brain might twitch at that.

'Yes. Good job he's not a girl. But only if there was a possibility of her growing into a sexist bitch like you.'

I would never say it but was very bigoted.

But well done for your new baby! Enjoy - they are so yummy. I have a teenager - less cute!

Mosman · 18/01/2013 13:42

We had a boy after three girls and despite DH telling her to her face repeatedly that he would have been just as happy with a fourth daughter my MIL likes to let me know between the two of us that she "KNOWS" DS is DH's favorite.

LaCiccolina · 18/01/2013 13:42

It would be dh fault so to speak if a girl, they set the sex by sperm! So indirectly her fault as u know, his genetics! Tee hee

Daft old bat. Think we might see more of this mil going forwards.... Good luck op xxx

Mosman · 18/01/2013 13:43

"well it's not your child so you needn't have worried either way really"

That's a great one, I'm stealing that.

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears · 18/01/2013 13:50

That is seriously horrid, how awful for her to see the world that way. I'd be wary and fairly keen to give her a wwwwwiiiiidddddeeeee berth.