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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents fighting in school yard...

79 replies

AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:12

Yesterday we received a letter from the school stating that the incident was under control and appropriate action was beig took.

Apparently two mum had a full on fisty/hair pulling fight infront of the nursery/reception parents/children and the reception teacher had to break them up.

Thankfully ds didn't see it as we were running late but does any MN who are teachers know what the action would be...

According to people gossip these parents are constantly battling over their children, and is more than likely to happen again...

If my ds seen this he would be beside himself as he has serious trust issues and is still not m100% confident in shook.

OP posts:
Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:13

iPhone, sorry!!

This was supposed to be in chat also.

OP posts:
ThreeBeeOneGee · 18/01/2013 09:15

We have once or twice had shouting/swearing between parents (usually about parking) but never physical fighting. I think that they should both be banned from the playground for a certain amount of time, but not sure if that's what your school will do.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 18/01/2013 09:15

Action ?? Well in my case i'd see it as my duty to never be late again for fear of missing any future drama......Wink As for school other than phoning police don't think there's much they can do.

FireOverBabylon · 18/01/2013 09:16

Sorry but never mind your son, as he didn't see the fight, and what about their children? My little one would be terrified if he saw someone hitting mummy. How do you let things get so bad that you are brawling in front of nusery / reception children? Sad Angry

I guess if it happens again the headteacher can ban them from coming onto school property or something, but as grown ups, you do wonder why it should be necessary to get to that stage.

Pancakeflipper · 18/01/2013 09:17

The school should have a code of conduct policy.

This is likely to include a section that says parents will be banned from the school grounds if they do this, that, the other. This will fit into one of the categories.

Check the school website or ask the Head Teacher or a school governor about the policy. Tell the teacher about your concerns for your son. I doubt anything will happen in the school grounds again if the school is onto these parents.

sookiesucksvamps · 18/01/2013 09:22

My dcs step sis has to be passed over the fence by her lovely mother as she is banned from school grounds due to abusive and threatening behaviour

Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:23

Well I can't help the other children, only their parents can, my priority is my son. Don't mean that is a bad way either.

Going to phone school and ask, or just talk to the teacher, we already had to move his daycare once because of sibling children, constantly fighting, I'm just worried if this does happen we will be back to square one, in his speach, confidence and social develpment.

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WorraLiberty · 18/01/2013 09:32

Causing a disturbance on educational premises is against the law and if the school choose to, they can go for a prosecution.

The only time I saw this was about 14yrs ago (before that law was made I think?) and one man headbutted another in a row about their reception aged DDs/DSD Hmm

The headbutter was banned from school premises...though he was the Mother's boyfriend anyway and the relationship didn't last long.

It was horrible though, the guy was standing there with blood streaming from his nose in front of the whole school playground and his two DDS Sad

Groovee · 18/01/2013 09:35

One school I worked at had parents charged with assault and then a police presence every day. This was an affluent area school.

If it's a one off, then I wouldn't stress, if it happened more than once, I'd be asking questions to the head.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 18/01/2013 09:41

Wow that is vile! I cannot believe adults behave like this at all, but even more surprised they would do it at school!

Tailtwister · 18/01/2013 09:42

How dreadful!

I'm not a teacher, but I imagine they will be banned from the premises. I feel for the children though, it's a horrible thing for them to see.

Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:43

This is a affulent school also, best in the city (it now teaches schools in their principles and how to adapt them to there schools, was also voted best school out of 50) clearly all that's irrelevant, when you've got to thick but parents fighting in front of 3 and 4 year ds!!!

I think of the school could press charges they would as make an example from them that it won't be tollorated.

OP posts:
Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:44

I hate iPhone auto correct nut, DC etc...

OP posts:
Groovee · 18/01/2013 09:48

There wasn't just one incident at the school I worked at. When I left there were 6 pending court cases and 4 parents already had criminal records due to the previous court cases. It's out of order and was happening because Little Tilly and Bea had fallen out at lunchtime but were friends by home time but that wasn't good enough for some of these parents!

FireOverBabylon · 18/01/2013 09:48

Altinkum, it wasn't a criticism of you, only that as an outsider I'd be more concernedinitially about children who will have witness the fracas (yeah, good to use a "big" word on a Friday morning). I'd hope that this morning would be enough for the parents to realise that their behaviour has gone too far. Probably says a lot that neither of them were big enough to walk away when it started to get heated.....

WorraLiberty · 18/01/2013 09:49

OP are you in America?

If so, I'm not sure the law I stated would apply there.

Pancakeflipper · 18/01/2013 09:49

I think the school will be taking it seriously as they have already sent letters out about it. So action has started. I wouldnt worry about this too much as it has happened, your child was ok and I doubt they will be doing this again in the playground.

WorraLiberty · 18/01/2013 09:52

Oh no ignore me Blush

I read "it now teaches schools in their principles" as "it now teaches schools and their principles...that and the word 'yard' rather than playground made me think you were from the good old US of A Blush

Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:54

No Worra, NE England.

I'm off to look up Babylon big work haha

OP posts:
Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 09:55

Sorry Worra, not very good at this English writing dyslexic and iPhone does me no favours ((blush))

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Icantstopeatinglol · 18/01/2013 09:57

Altinkum, I'm wondering if I'm thinking of the same incident or may just be coincidence! I was running early with my ds and missed it thankfully! Don't think my ds would have been very happy seeing two grown women fighting next to his school play area!

Not sure what ds school is doing about it and haven't asked tbh. I'd like to know who it was so I can steer clear of them! Especially when I have 2 children to look after!
Some people are beyond help! If you can fight in a school playground in front of small children that's the lowest of the low and doesn't set a good example to the kids.....tho I'm sure the majority of the kids know better!

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 18/01/2013 10:01

I had to step between two squabbling mothers at the school gates once and gave the instigator a piece of my mind. She didn't speak to me for a year thankfully

It's ridiculous what some mothers think is acceptable.... The fight was about a party invite ffs!

Our school wasn't able to do anything as technically is was outside school grounds but hopefully your school can ban the mothers from school property

Mosman · 18/01/2013 10:05

There was a fight, proper full on fight in the play area at David Lloyd, you never can tell who will kick off over the children.

Original poster
AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 18/01/2013 10:08

I can stop the schools named after a worm?

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Icantstopeatinglol · 18/01/2013 10:14

Altinkum, yep were talking about the same school! I was shocked when I read the letter but glad they informed all parents. I hope the school deals with it properly! I know it's upsetting if your child's having problems at school but fighting in a school playground is unbelievable! Don't think the headmistress will take too kindly to it as she's not long been there.

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