To say how much I admire lone parents.

[Geekster]

This last couple of weeks I have been on my own with my ten month old DD, as DH been away with work Sun-Fri. Luckily DD has been happy and slept well. Even so it feels like a lot of responsibility when I'm on my own with her. If she had been ill, or I had been ill it would have been hard. It makes me admire those parents who have no choice to be lone parents.

Ahh thank you :) I'm only 7 months in but my dc are winding me up like you wouldnt believe! Dd1 cries a lot (obviously she misses her dad and our family life is changed) and dd2 is teething... All. Night. Long.

LOL it's nice of you to say so but I do find comments like this a teeny bit patronising so, I would say YABabitU

I was a great parent when I was married and I'm still a great parent now i'm a single parent. The addition or subtraction of another person in my life makes no difference to my parenting.

I am with Geekster, and it is not meant in a patronising way, I am sure.

I am currently a part time single parent (my husband is deployed abroad for 3+ months), and it is hard not having him here.

Admittedly, I have a fairly full on job, and we moved just before he left, but it is the little things of not being able to get someone to help with something, not being able to go to the supermarket on you own, and given the interesting comunication with where he is, having someone to talk to about kid stuff and decisions and all that.

I am not saying that you are a lesser parent now, but that you do have to work that much harder

Ah, thanks!

Yes, it's a long hard slog - DS 21 now, LP since he was 6 months - but you know what?

Sometimes it's so much easier and straight-forward than having a twat husband or partner around (which is more like 2 DS on your own!).

Having read what I've read on here and looked at my friends, I think on balance it's better to be a lone parent than a stuck-with-a-bastard-can't-leave-he-makes-more-work parent.

Why, thank you Geekster
Sometimes it's nice to get a teeny tiny pat on the back!

Not patronising in the slightest, thank you for the recognition.
All compliments gratefully received.

Thank you. I don't find it patronising at all.

I have been a single mum for nearly 7 years. My dc were 8, 6 and 3 when their dad left. I admire all of those single parents who are on their own with newborns and toddlers, because I think that is really tough.

Mind you, I have teens now and thats like big toddlers lol.

what about those of us who prefer it? is that a dangerous notion?
agree with notsuch
also, being a lone parent is v different from having the oh away for a bit - in fact it's probably easier than that in a way, because you know where you are with stuff and don't have to keep adjusting. Lone parenthood has a bad press, but it really isn't as bad as you seem to think! I guess if everyone realised that society might crumble etc etc

actually nutty you just reminded me, the baby bit was hard. I had forgotten! ds 3 and dd 6 months and no money. OMG how did I blank that out! life has got so much better!

The op didn't say it was the same.

It was the 'part time single parent' comment I was referring to

Ninah - I think we forget just how hard some bits have been sometimes.
I wouldn't change it though.

Nope, I'll take the admiration, thanks

TBH you just get on with it. Someone said to me a little while ago, "How do you manage a three year old and all your health problems by yourself?" - I looked at them blankly. How can you not manage? You have to. There isn't an alternative.

It's fucking hard work at times though, so pat on the back gratefully received

I don't want to patronise anyone, but yes, I sometimes think of lone parents and think - dunno, I'm worried about offending people now! I just think - respect. Being a parent can be damn hard. I think about it when I'm ill and can at least go and lie down for a couple of hours while dp does tea/bath etc.

Yanbu.

basks in warm glow

Oh I'll second that. DH is abroad next week, I have 16mo twins who have been ill/teething since the dawn of time Christmas, the world's biggest dog who is, conveniently, also ill, and a stash of work deadlines. I am a gibbering wreck just thinking about it and that's only a few days!

maybe it's babies that are hard? It was just as bad when I was with ex tbh.

I mean 16 month old twins would have me gibbering even if I had a houseful of polygamous husbands

Ha ha ha! Thank you Ninah! Actually over Christmas we had all the GPs and SILs and a few friends around one day, and DH and I looked at each other and said "Yep, this is about the right ratio of adults to tiny destruction seeking missiles toddlers!"
It's the logistics of being completely outnumbered that terrify me, kudos to those of you who are used to it!

I didn't intend to be patronising in any way, apologies if I came across like that.

OK here's the worst worst things for me atm
Not being able to put big awkward things in the loft without waiting for help
Spiders (but ds is trained up)
Finding childcare pre 7.30 if I need it and after 6 if I need it
Bonfire night
that's it, mainly.
The pluses
Pride, achievement
Independence
Absolutely no need to compromise
Not having to ask anyone how their 'day' was
Not having to speak to anyone at all after 8pm
Mystique (no one can quite place me)
Threads like this just for doing a normal day with t'kids!

oops that took ages to post
No, you really should stagger them you know, twelve
I am very used to it. I am an EY teacher! and I really should be in bed
thanks for the fred geekster, I'll take the huge potato off my shoulder
polygamy = bloody hard work, I should imagine

I didn't take it in a patronising way

For me it is not that hard and we are very happy but when someone is around and makes me a cup of tea, puts ds to bed and then helps me sort out my bills I realise how much I would prefer having a bit of support