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Original poster

Should I still be upset over Boss shouting at me today?

144 replies

bengal38 · 14/01/2013 16:23

I work in a school kitchen and today the Boss shouted at me infront of the 2 Area Managers and my work colleagues for putting 5 spoons of meatballs instead of 5 meatballs in a childs plate.

I asked the Boss how many spoons of meatballs and she said to me 5 only. I then went to do the next childs plate and she told me it was too much and she meant 5 meatballs and not 5 spoons.

Later inside she shouted at me over it. I did apologise but she said that next time it happens she will scream at me and she then started touching her head saying to me "are you not aware of what I mean when I talk to you". I got the impression that she thought I was thick.

I was really upset but I did explain to her that I said to her how many spoons but she said that I should have known she meant 5 meatballs and not 5 spoons.

OP posts:
Yfronts · 14/01/2013 23:45

She really shouldn't be managing people if she has no people skills.

PurpleStorm · 14/01/2013 23:50

Behave as normally as you can when you go in tomorrow. Try to stay calm. If she looks at you in a funny way do your best to ignore her.

And frankly it's irrelevant whether the meatball thing was your fault or not, or whether you served the child with 3 more meatballs or 30 more. Your manager should not have behaved like that, no matter how annoyed for frustrated she was. It's extremely unprofessional.

DSM · 15/01/2013 00:06

She shouldn't have shouted at you, but TBH I can see her frustration. Not only from your extreme lack of common sense today, but at your inability to perform your job properly which has been evident over the course of your previous posts. Which is relevant, given that you are discussing an incident with your boss which may seem OTT without the background story.

Maybe this job isn't for you and you would be better going back to a primary school setting? Or consider doing something else entirely?

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother · 15/01/2013 00:20

This thread has made me really really want meatballs.

Nothing constructive to add, sorry.

ShellyBoobs · 15/01/2013 00:30

Your boss is shit. Utterly shit.

There's no excuse for shouting at your staff.

I've been in management roles for nearly 20 years now and I can honestly say that I've never shouted at a colleague despite having managed some shitty situations and having had to dismiss people.

If she can't manage a situation (whether a one-off or something on-going) without shouting, she needs to removed.

The way I look at it is that everyone is worthy of the same respect wherever they are in the organisational hierarchy, so if your boss wouldn't shout at her boss, she shouldn't shout at you.

YellowTulips · 15/01/2013 00:46

Sounds to me that you have a manager who is totally frustrated by your lack of common sense.

Should she have shouted? No. Should you have engaged your brain about portion control? Yes.

DSM · 15/01/2013 00:47

ShellyBoobs I completely agree, on the principal that I too have been in management roles for a long time (13 years) and have never shouted at anyone.

But I have seen other managers shout at staff, and though I wouldn't behave that way and don't think it's right, I can see how someone with a short temper can lose it. I don't have a short temper, and by the sounds of it, nor do you.

Having followed this OP's previous posts and issues at work.. I can actually understand why the boss lost her temper. Her lack of common sense astounds me.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 15/01/2013 07:53

DSM and yellow. Angry

curiousuze · 15/01/2013 08:22

Your boss shouldn't have shouted but you do sound pretty incompetent tbh.

Flatbread · 15/01/2013 08:40

Bengal,

Given by your poster name, are you of Asian descent?

If so, do you think there is an element of racism going on? The shouting and thicko gesture seem so extreme, that I am at a loss to understand how someone could do that to a work colleague. And get away with it in front of others, unless there was some kind of tacit understanding that the person being shouted at is 'lesser' and an outsider.

If you have an HR department I would report it as abuse in the workplace. Not the funny looks, not the meatballs, but the shouting and thicko gesture.

When you see her, be VERY unfriendly and hard. Bullies only respond to firm behaviour. She is testing what she can get away with.

Some of the responses on this thread are shocking.

Cosmosim · 15/01/2013 09:06

It can't possibly just be incompetence, let's make wild assumptions like racism based on a username for fucks sake. I can totally picture why her colleagues just stood there. From her posts describing her job, it reads like the OP continually makes errors in her job and her colleagues are fed up. I'm personally wondering why she hasn't been dismissed yet. Maybe because she's constantly accusing others of bullying and playing the victim.

Flatbread · 15/01/2013 09:12

Shouting and gesturing that someone is a thicko are not acceptable behaviour in any workplace.

It doesn't matter if the OP is incompetent or not (and I would think that she is not, given that she is still in the job)

There is no excuse for bullying.

And no excuse for posters supporting bullying behaviour either.

Cosmosim · 15/01/2013 09:21

Flatbread there may be no excuse for bullying but you have no idea if there IS bullying here or not. The OP does write her posts with quite a biased viewpoint. For all we know, management and colleagues are afraid of her and it's all finally come to a boiling point. I don't think her boss really shouted as in screamed. I think she raised her voice and the OP is taking dramatic license. If there was screaming, the scene would have been clocked by the surrounding students and other teachers.

diddl · 15/01/2013 09:28

The boss shouldn´t have shouted.

However, if for example you usually dish out a couple of ladles of stew, then I would expect to dish out a couple of ladles of meatballs.

Was she taking the piss by saying 5?

I mean she wouldn´t be expecting you to stand & count them out, would she??

So, don´t know-maybe she´s expecting OP to think a bit for herself?
(if that hasn´t been happening-no idea as haven´t seen/read any other threads by OP)

Flatbread · 15/01/2013 09:34

Later inside she shouted at me over it. I did apologise but she said that next time it happens she will scream at me and she then started touching her head saying to me "are you not aware of what I mean when I talk to you"

'Raising her voice' is a euphemism for shouting and is not acceptable in a workplace.

And the thicko gesture is completely unacceptable as well.

The behaviour by OP's boss is appalling and disrespectful. It is bullying and no amount of victim-blaming justifies it, IMO.

PickledInAPearTree · 15/01/2013 09:35

I wouldn't go in acting "hard "

You need to stick up for yourself as and when things happen.

A very firm "please don't shout at me it was an honest misunderstanding" the next time. If it carries on keep a diary.

I can't tell from your posts is she is a bully or if you and her have previous issues but no gesturing your thick that's not on. That's the type of thing you note in your diary.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 15/01/2013 09:38

Is this the first time you've served meatballs since May?

DSM · 15/01/2013 09:42

flatbread have you come across this poster before? It is an ongoing issue she seems to have at work, with her probationary period being extended and such. It's not as easy as just 'firing' someone anymore, you have to build up a history of incompetence.

It does sound like you aren't great at this particular job, and again I suggest of maybe it would be best to look elsewhere?

Flatbread · 15/01/2013 09:52

DSM,

It doesn't matter if OP is incompetent or not, it is about appropriate behaviour in the workplace.

Raising your voice, shouting and making offensive gestures is not acceptable under any circumstance.

OP's boss needs yo be reprimanded for her behaviour or fired if this is part of an ongoing pattern.

DSM · 15/01/2013 10:08

I'm just not sure how much of her boss's 'behaviour' is exaggerated.

All she 'shouted' was 'are you not aware of what I say when I am talking to you?' Which, evidently, she is not as she messed up something that was basic common sense. It appears that for a 39yo woman she acts very childishly.

I'm struggling to believe that someone who is making constant mistakes at work, being put on extended probationary periods, being asked by both her boss and area manager if she feels she would be better suited elsewhere, and not able to follow basic instruction is in fact in the right, and everyone else in her workplace (from bullying colleagues to the other new girl to the boss and area manager) are all wrong.

Jins · 15/01/2013 10:10

It sounds to me that the Boss is reaching the end of the tether to be honest and whilst shouting at a colleague is never acceptable the OP needs to ask the right questions to get the right answer

'What's the portion size?' would be clearer than how many spoonfuls. Even I can tell that there's a very wide variation in potential portions from spoonfuls

annh · 15/01/2013 10:11

Op, you presumably eventually passed your probationary period? How did you end of period review go? Were you given any advice then on your performance?

Cosmosim · 15/01/2013 10:16

And claiming various coworkers giving you "funny looks" without ever addressing any of the issues - just posting on Internet about them hoping to read what you are probably not hearing in real life - is professional how?

You are assuming everything OP writes are facts. I am pointing out that from her own writing, this does not add up and I question how close to the facts her version is. Sure she can go in and quote your posts and accuse her boss of all the unprofessional behaviour you've pointed out. But I'm betting there's a very thick file on the OP in her HR dept already that is the other side of her story.

LtEveDallas · 15/01/2013 10:29

Bengal, Given by your poster name, are you of Asian descent? If so, do you think there is an element of racism going on

OP describes herself as a 'Greek Orthodox Christian'.

OP, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I do think that in your many threads you come across as rather 'highly strung'. I think (as much as I am only going by what you say in your posts) that you sound as if you suffer from Anxiety. I think it may be worth having a chat with your doctor, as there is every chance that things aren't as bad as you are seeing them - but you need some help to recognise this.

Flatbread · 15/01/2013 10:33

Every type of bullying involves the following excuses:

  • the victim made me do it (he/she is incompetent, lazy, unreasonable)
  • it really wasn't that bad, he/she is exaggerating and being oversensitive

Reading this thread, is interesting to see the same excuses being trotted out here.

The meatballs are not important. Being humiliated and intimidated on the other hand, are not acceptable. Ever.