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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want him to eat that stuff?

74 replies

pacific407 · 14/01/2013 10:14

I am concerned that my new childminder is a bit liberal with the sugar/processed food...I am sending my DS (22 MO) to her with most of his food but occasionally if I'm really busy I might not be able to provide all his meals, and when I asked about the type of food she provides for the other children (which admittedly she doesn't do every day because their parents send them to her with food most of the time) she mentioned chicken nuggets or fishfingers with chips. My son had breakfast there this morning and when I called she said he'd eaten toast and banana and was about to have coco pops. They also have a biscuit every afternoon. I also had to tell her not to give him squash because he has water at home and I don't want him getting used to drinking squash.
I'm not hyper about sugar or processed food and I'm not suggesting at all that all the food I give him is perfect. But it's quite nice at the moment that he doesn't seem particularly interested in sweet things (he loves just plain water and seems to view a yoghurt as a treat) - and really likes the casseroles/savoury mince and veg etc that I give him for his tea. And my concern is that if he gets used to sugar/processed food on a daily basis (rather than as a treat), he might start rejecting the food I give him at home.
So I am debating whether to say something to his childminder and, if so, how far I should go. Or am I just being a bit neurotic (it is entirely possible!) - I never even considered the food he was getting at nursery, for example.

OP posts:

Theicingontop · 14/01/2013 10:21

Yanbu.

Speaking from experience, you'll get told you're unreasonable for not wanting 'normal' foods to be fed to your toddler. Coco pops are normal, fish fingers are normal, a cup of squash every few hours is normal, apparently.

It's not. It's shit, full of sugar and artificial sweeteners, salt and preservatives, and if you don't feel right putting that into your child then you need to make sure you're on your A-game with his packed lunches. Not worth starting a debate about it, trust me, you'll get faces and told you're being precious.

Yamyoid · 14/01/2013 10:24

I think it's a bit tricky. If she was providing all food and it was part of what you pay for, then you should definitely say something. However, if there's no formal arrangement, I don't think you can expect her to drop everything to prepare fresh food whenever it suits you. I would say about the coco pops though, there's no reason to provide chocolate crap for breakfast. And the squash.
I don't think there's a problem with a plain biscuit for a snack but I'd personally prefer it to be accompanied by fruit. I don't think you're neurotic at all!

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2013 10:24

I'd be more concerned at the over feeding tbh.

What baby needs toast, banana and Cocopops?

I couldn't eat that lot myself for breakfast

bamboostalks · 14/01/2013 10:25

Well, just keep sending him in with your homemade stuff then if you are that concerned. I mean you are talking up a problem here that does not exist atm.
Ask cm to not give squash or biscuit if you are very anxious about effect.

CaptChaos · 14/01/2013 10:30

When I was minding I used to make everything from scratch, even chicken nuggets (breast of chicken with fresh breadcrumbs and a little garlic) and fish fingers (white fish again in fresh breadcrumbs), chips were the SW version. Before you go off half-cocked find out exactly what the minder meant by these foods.

Wanting your child to have high quality food is not unreasonable or precious. Also the CM is missing a trick, as we used to have all kinds of fun preparing lunch together, it's quite amazing how much fun toddlers can have with a plate of beaten egg and a plate of breadcrumbs. (And yes, before anyone asks, I used to assiduously clean off the raw egg and make sure none of it went into mouths)

Original poster

pacific407 · 14/01/2013 10:38

WorraLiberty - I know, it sounds like loads! But knowing my DS he would have had a chunk of banana and half a slice of toast at most. But even if that's the case the coco pops are unnecessary, and of course he'd probably eat the entire bowlful of those!

Good point, CaptChaos, will definitely ask.

I know that he's bound to discover these kinds of foods sooner or later, but when he does the hope is that he will be old enough for me to at least bargain with him over how much of the stuff he eats (well, that's the theory anyway) - I just wanted to delay it for as long as possible (and at the moment, if he doesn't want what I give him, no amount of promises involving chocolate buttons will make him eat it so I would effectively be screwed if he started turning his nose up at anything other than chicken nuggets!)

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 14/01/2013 12:01

I don't think you're at all unreasonable but if the CM has several other children to care for too, it might be tricky having your food requirements for DS implemented.

eggs11 · 14/01/2013 12:04

WORRA I think if you look at the weaaning section, all babies seem to eat mammoth amounts for breakfast! My 1year old has two weetabix, a yoghurt or two, whole banana and sometimes toast!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 14/01/2013 12:08

Really? My one year old has a bite of toast and maybe a spoonful of porridge.

(And a big breastfeed before coming downstairs though)

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 14/01/2013 12:09

I've just had this conversation on another thread about fish fingers. If you look at the ingredients there's not that much in them.

I don't see any reason that they can't be part of a balanced diet.

Ask her not to give the squash though.

lovelyladuree · 14/01/2013 12:11

YABU. She is a CM, not Nigella.

kinkyfuckery · 14/01/2013 12:11

Why would he get used to eating processed food on a daily basis, if you send him with your own homemade food except for "occasionally"?
Make the time to provide his meals, if that was the arrangement. If you can't 'find the time' to provide them, where do you expect the CM to 'find the time' to cook to your specifications.

FWIW, I wouldn't want my children eating like that on a daily basis either.

badtemperedaldbitch · 14/01/2013 12:13

We have beefburgers, but the ingredients are listed as beef and salt.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 14/01/2013 12:18

Yabu to complain about the food as you have known all along that's what she does. If its every now and then what's the problem, just don't forget his lunch if it's a big deal.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 14/01/2013 12:21

I don't allow dd to have juice either, but I do give her the odd fish finger (maybe one a week at the very most), and she also has a big breakfast of toast cereal.and fruit.

If you are supposed to send food with your DS then maybe she doesnt keep 'more apporopriate' foods in for your DS. infact, I could well imagine "AIBU to think that as the parents are supposed to supply food for their dcs, and theu forget, the dcs will get whatever I can rustle up?" and it would be an almost unabimous YANBU.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2013 12:28

WORRA I think if you look at the weaaning section, all babies seem to eat mammoth amounts for breakfast! My 1year old has two weetabix, a yoghurt or two, whole banana and sometimes toast!

Just why?

Why would you pack a baby's stomach out with all that food? And 2 yoghurts on top of all that other stuff?

I genuinely don't get that sort of overfeeding?

mademred · 14/01/2013 12:29

Any child minder that wants to give the kids cocoa pops or squash to the kids must have rocks in their head, my ds gets hyper on all kinds of food , I wouldn't deliberately feed him more crap.i would seriously look for another cm if it was me.

mademred · 14/01/2013 12:30

RandallPinkFloyd · 14/01/2013 12:45

My DS is 18mo, for breakfast he has half a wheatabix with natural yoghurt and a slice of toast with peanut butter. It's what he's had fir at leadt the last 6 months, I thought that was normal, I had no idea it was too much

op I think there's a middle ground with your situation. The cocoa pops bidcuits and squash I would definitely say something about but if him having a main meal there is rare and not something you pay extra for then I'm not sure it's worth getting wound up about.

I wouldn't be happy about it personally, especially as your son is such a good water at home, but I think the only option is to make sure you always send him with food.

Are you happy with her in all other aspects?

WilsonFrickett · 14/01/2013 12:45

As someone has said, she's a childminder, not Delia. Maybe she quite simply can't produce the kind of food you'd like her to? I imagine if there's a few mindees and you're not a good cook it would be very difficult to produce breakfast, lunch and tea from scratch. That doesn't mean I think you're being U about the kind of food you want your DS to eat. But you may be U about expecting your childminder to provide it.

So the answer is to send in his food, provide a breakfast cereal and ask her to stop giving him squash (completely agree no point in that) and while I wouldn't get too worked up about the biscuit for snack, could you discuss giving fruit every couple of days instead?

RandallPinkFloyd · 14/01/2013 12:47

Stupid fat fingers, that post needs a fricking translator.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2013 12:48

Half a Weetabix and a slice of toast isn't too much, is it?

However, 2 Weetabix, 2 Yoghurts, a whole banana and toast surely is?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/01/2013 12:51

My two usually eat more at breakfast than at any other meal, Worra. Today they actually had about 2.5 weetabix each, with apple.

I do let DD have squash though. Is it really that bad? She's nearly three.

Callisto · 14/01/2013 12:51

Is there any goodness at all in cocoa pops? Surely the CM can choose a cereal that is reasonably nutritious. It isn't exactly rocket science.

RandallPinkFloyd · 14/01/2013 12:58

Phew, that alright then!

I have to hide the bananas here, he can hoover one down in lightening speed. If he so much as sees one he gets frantic. If I let him he'd eat them all day. They have to be strictly rationed to 1 a day after tea!

Squash is shit, there's no getting around it but once you've started it I'm not sure how you'd go about stopping. The coco pops thing I would definitely mention.

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