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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want him to eat that stuff?

74 replies

pacific407 · 14/01/2013 10:14

I am concerned that my new childminder is a bit liberal with the sugar/processed food...I am sending my DS (22 MO) to her with most of his food but occasionally if I'm really busy I might not be able to provide all his meals, and when I asked about the type of food she provides for the other children (which admittedly she doesn't do every day because their parents send them to her with food most of the time) she mentioned chicken nuggets or fishfingers with chips. My son had breakfast there this morning and when I called she said he'd eaten toast and banana and was about to have coco pops. They also have a biscuit every afternoon. I also had to tell her not to give him squash because he has water at home and I don't want him getting used to drinking squash.
I'm not hyper about sugar or processed food and I'm not suggesting at all that all the food I give him is perfect. But it's quite nice at the moment that he doesn't seem particularly interested in sweet things (he loves just plain water and seems to view a yoghurt as a treat) - and really likes the casseroles/savoury mince and veg etc that I give him for his tea. And my concern is that if he gets used to sugar/processed food on a daily basis (rather than as a treat), he might start rejecting the food I give him at home.
So I am debating whether to say something to his childminder and, if so, how far I should go. Or am I just being a bit neurotic (it is entirely possible!) - I never even considered the food he was getting at nursery, for example.

OP posts:
KindleMum · 14/01/2013 17:11

My kids both eat enormous breakfasts - at that age they'd have easily eaten porridge, 1 or 2 bananas, 2 yoghurts and 1 or 2 oranges or apples and maybe more, and they'd be hungry again by mid-morning. They're both very skinny and always have been - I struggle to find clothes long enough that don't hang off their hips.
It's much more than DH or I have in the mornings but it's healthy food and they're not overweight so I see no reason to deprive them.

Flobbadobs · 14/01/2013 17:14

fuckdoodle Grin
Yep, 6 slices! And he's all skin and bone at the moment, I think it way well be a growth spurt but he is always hungry in the mornings.

Scholes34 · 14/01/2013 17:25

YABU to think fish fingers are a problem. I would certainly want to avoid Cocoa Pops and would prefer watered down fruit juice to squash. And if squash is to be drunk I certainly wouldn't want any with artificial sweetener in it. Better to be sugar than that nasty stuff.

pacific407 · 14/01/2013 17:42

I know the odd bowl of coco pops etc won't hurt him - like I said in my op, I'm not actually hyper about sugar or processed foods. My issue is that by allowing him to have the odd one at the childminder's (and by "the odd", we're talking about coco pops each time he's there because he has breakfast there, a biscuit every afternoon, squash to drink plus whatever other sweets etc she might give him), he gets used to them in his diet and starts trying to demand it at home. Which is why I have been wondering whether to mention the issue to her.

OP posts:
RandallPinkFloyd · 14/01/2013 18:15

salt guidelines . One slice of bread is fine for over 1 year olds, no need to be alarmist.

Are you happy with the childminder in all other areas op because I think that would be the clincher for me. If you get on we'll enough that you think you would be able to say something about the coco pops, squash and biscuits, and you're happy about everything else, then I'd probably let the tea time stuff go.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 14/01/2013 18:19

Dd has sugar on her weetabix at mums but never at mine, she asked me once I told her I didn't have any weetabix sugar and she's never asked again.

BlueberryHill · 14/01/2013 18:26

My dentist hates juice for children, mine have the odd one at parties / soft play but at home they drink water as I don't want them to always ask for it. Squash is really bad for teeth apparently, he also doesn't like sweets / cakes and biscuits for the same reason, obviously, he is a dentist.

Floggingmolly · 14/01/2013 18:32

You yourself and the other parents usually send your own food.
So maybe she doesn't want to have fresh, organic stuff constantly on standby that 9 out of 10 times woudn't be used; so the freezer stuff is just for emergencies when someone doesn't provide their own food with no notice?

babyboomersrock · 14/01/2013 18:35

I agree - most cereals are rubbish. Porridge is probably the simplest (and cheapest). I would have been very unhappy about my toddler being fed the sort of low-quality foods the OP mentions.

However, I can't help noticing how much carboydrate-heavy food most people feed their toddlers. If my toddler hadn't eaten since the evening before, I'd assume he needed protein to start the day. What's wrong with an egg (boiled, scrambled, whatever) with a small piece of bread and butter - plus milk, obviously, for breakfast? People seem to regard lots of fruit as a healthy option, too, but it's full of sugar and isn't exactly sustaining. It's fine for snacks.

At that age, mine had an egg or cheese for breakfast, with a very small amount of bread and butter and milk to drink. If they were extra hungry they'd have a small bowl of porridge with honey as well.

My four babies were big (between 9lbs 2 and 11lbs 3), breast-fed exclusively until 6 months, and were on the plump side until 2 years old, when they quickly lost their "baby fat", so they weren't poorly wee things with no appetite.

I fed them a high-protein/low carbohydrate diet, though we didn't call it that - it just meant meals were based on meat/fish/cheese and eggs with vegetables and small quantities of things like bread/potatoes/rice. They did have puddings, but they were physically very active. When I eat out these days, I'm amazed by the portions served to toddlers - I suspect we're training them to eat more bulk than they need.

HelpOneAnother · 14/01/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WillowFae · 14/01/2013 18:37

My 5 year old has one weetabix and a yoghurt. She would struggle to eat more than that.

Loie159 · 14/01/2013 18:44

I think that YANBU to not want your 22 month old to not drink squash or eat Cocoa Pops. However if you forget the food or don't have time to sort it out then it puts you in a bit of weaker position IYSWIM ..... Especially if she us helping you out.

However I do think a lot of parents don't necessarily understand how much hidden sugar and salt are in what we all think are normal foods. Pretty much all cereal has high sugar / salt content. Commercially produced loaves of bread (rather than homemade or artisan) are high in salt and pumped with trans fat to preserve. So sometimes the foods that people get a bit upset about, like fish fingers, are actually less processed and have less artificial ingredients than other foods we believe are "good" for us.

I don't think he will get used to eating fish fingers If it is just once a week, but speak to your CM and see if you can reach a compromise.

Loie159 · 14/01/2013 18:45

I think that YANBU to not want your 22 month old to not drink squash or eat Cocoa Pops. However if you forget the food or don't have time to sort it out then it puts you in a bit of weaker position IYSWIM ..... Especially if she us helping you out.

However I do think a lot of parents don't necessarily understand how much hidden sugar and salt are in what we all think are normal foods. Pretty much all cereal has high sugar / salt content. Commercially produced loaves of bread (rather than homemade or artisan) are high in salt and pumped with trans fat to preserve. So sometimes the foods that people get a bit upset about, like fish fingers, are actually less processed and have less artificial ingredients than other foods we believe are "good" for us.

I don't think he will get used to eating fish fingers If it is just once a week, but speak to your CM and see if you can reach a compromise.

Loie159 · 14/01/2013 18:46

Don't know why that has posted twice! Sorry

MooMooSkit · 14/01/2013 18:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Thingiebob · 14/01/2013 18:47

I would be unhappy about Coco pops. I can't bear all the sugary cereals aimed at kids.

Mind you, my 3 year old drinks weak no added sugar squash and usually has a treat such as a biscuit or some chocolate a day. As she also wolfs down vegetables, fruit and protein, this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

She is not overweight and we are really careful with cleaning her teeth.

snowybrrr · 14/01/2013 18:51

What is the arrangement regarding food then.Is the agreement that you send his food, or she provides it?

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 14/01/2013 18:54

Does your CM not have a healthy eating policy?

I would find out first if the food provided is actually homemade or processed. There's a lot of difference between my homemade chicken nuggets and Iceland's.
If you don't want your child to have something then say so. It's totally unnecessary to give him coco-pops after toast and a banana, and biscuits every day isn't really on.

It really isn't hard to look after children AND provide healthy, nutritionally balanced food.

FurdyCone · 14/01/2013 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pacific407 · 15/01/2013 10:59

snowybrr well she has said she will provide food for an added £1 per meal which I was originally intending to take her up on (not necessarily every day-my original intention had been 50/50). But before we'd actually discussed this in detail she started talking about what she provides for the other children when they don't bring their own food in, so that has put me off and made me decide to provide as much of his food as possible. But it would have taken a great weight off if I could have shared the food prep with her.
FurdyCone - I actually think that makes a lot of sense. Like how I associate my nan with the rock cakes she used to make, but would never have asked my mum for them when I was little because they were a 'nan thing'...

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 15/01/2013 11:33

YANBU.

There's absolutely no need for young children to be fed crap.

Preposteroushypothesis · 15/01/2013 12:26

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it has moved in but just wanted to say I am a cm and I cook all meals from scratch. However, I plan the meals carefully in advance so I always say to my parents who provide food themselves that if they couldn't provide breakfast last minute then that's fine as I always have plenty of porridge and toast etc but with lunch and dinner I need advance notice so if they don't give that I will probably only be able to provide a sandwich or something quite simple if there is not enough of the main meal we are having to go around. I don't have any reserves of frozen nuggets etc though so it would be sandwich or maybe tuna pasta but simply done with whatever I have available.

If you sometimes struggle for time why don't you try keeping a reserve of the annabel karmel ready meals in your freezer? I don't actually know heather these are all that better but I just assume being annabel karmel that they would be...

No excuse on the squash or biscuits though...I provide all snacks free of charge and it is only ever fruit and I refuse to give the children squash even if that is what they drink at home because its so bad for their teeth and if one has it they all want it!

Oblomov · 15/01/2013 12:49

to be fed "crap"

Is this what constitutes CRAP?
Oh dear. I feed my children all sorts of stuff. They eat every curry, chilli , every veg going. There is practically nothing they won't eat. They also eat lots of fruit, fruit in juice, etc.
Also crisps, crackers, salami, frankfurters, pepperami's, youghurts, biscuits, chocolate. Everything.
Ds1(9) still looks like he hasn't had a good meal in weeks. Yet can easuily eat 4 weetabix, a slice of toast and a youghurt for breakfast.

= All kids eat different amounts.
But i still don't think this is anything for Op to get hung up about. Just a quiet word to CM.

Yfronts · 15/01/2013 13:08

I wouldn't want my kids eating crap either. I would probably just provide all my own food for CM and mention to CM that you are sticking to healthy foods. My kids also eat everything but given the choice would eat rubbish.

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