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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want him to eat that stuff?

74 replies

pacific407 · 14/01/2013 10:14

I am concerned that my new childminder is a bit liberal with the sugar/processed food...I am sending my DS (22 MO) to her with most of his food but occasionally if I'm really busy I might not be able to provide all his meals, and when I asked about the type of food she provides for the other children (which admittedly she doesn't do every day because their parents send them to her with food most of the time) she mentioned chicken nuggets or fishfingers with chips. My son had breakfast there this morning and when I called she said he'd eaten toast and banana and was about to have coco pops. They also have a biscuit every afternoon. I also had to tell her not to give him squash because he has water at home and I don't want him getting used to drinking squash.
I'm not hyper about sugar or processed food and I'm not suggesting at all that all the food I give him is perfect. But it's quite nice at the moment that he doesn't seem particularly interested in sweet things (he loves just plain water and seems to view a yoghurt as a treat) - and really likes the casseroles/savoury mince and veg etc that I give him for his tea. And my concern is that if he gets used to sugar/processed food on a daily basis (rather than as a treat), he might start rejecting the food I give him at home.
So I am debating whether to say something to his childminder and, if so, how far I should go. Or am I just being a bit neurotic (it is entirely possible!) - I never even considered the food he was getting at nursery, for example.

OP posts:
fuckadoodlepoopoo · 14/01/2013 12:59

Fuck! I just looked at the ingredients of the cereal my kids eat (its the only thing either of them like and will actually eat for breakfast) and its full of stuff that i don't understand. That can't be good! Shock

LaCiccolina · 14/01/2013 13:01

Sorry but my dd also eats the most at breakfast. Hardly mammoth surprise, hasn't eaten for hrs coz asleep. Breakfast like a king, supper like a pauper is not a saying for nothing! As adults it's the most VIP meal of day, to assume not in a baby seems odd. Don't forget the food is being offered as baby/toddler seems hungry/asks. They aren't geese and we aren't providing grain in buckets thrown down their necks for toddler foie gras.

Op ur views are valid. Double check if its the crap stuff or home made and how. Remember lunch if have to. V hard balancing act.

I gave dd ice cream. She plainly hates it at first but is over time (1 yr) is learning tat other people like it and to like it. I never give it mil does (growl)..... Won't feckin listen. Liking this crap is learned. Defo. Just got to do what u can....

RandallPinkFloyd · 14/01/2013 13:03

Breakfast cereal is routinely shite. How they get away with advertising it as health food I really don't know.

I hate over-priced toddler food and refuse to buy most of it but I do relent and buy the cow &gate wheatabix.

Other than plain porridge oats there are no breakfast cereals that don't have excessive salt and sugar in them. Well none that I've seen.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2013 13:07

Yes I'm aware the 3 kids I raised were not geese...I realised this when they didn't lay eggs.

My point was (and is) that imo that was an awful lot of food for a 1yr old baby.

They can't exactly jog round the park to burn it off.

But perhaps times have changed since I raised my 3 as my youngest is 10yrs old.

Longdistance · 14/01/2013 13:19

I'm with you Worra that's a ridiculous amount of food for a 1 year old.

Mine have cornflakes, rice crispies, or Weetabix x1 for breakfast. They do have a mid morning snack of banana at half 9.

Flobbadobs · 14/01/2013 13:26

Have to admit worra I do like to make sure everyone is full at breakfast, not sure why though! DS will have 4 slices of toast at home, usually takes some fruit on his way out of the door then get sto school and gets another 2 slices at the cafe apparently, DD1 will have a croissant and fruit and DD2 will easily eat a bowl of porridge and 2 yoghurts. She's just shy of a year old. dS is 12 and DD1 is 7.

TripleRock · 14/01/2013 13:30

Her set up is that the children's parents provide the meals. She does not normally expect to do so, if I have understood you correctly?

When they forget or haven't had time, she helps out by providing food that can be cooked from frozen, slung in the oven and buzzer set.

YANBU to feel these foods are unsuitable and you would rather your DS didn't eat them. YABU to be dissatisfied about this when the agreement is that parents should be supplying meals!

Supply your own food and problem solved! Supply fruit as a replacement for the afternoon biscuit if you want.

OxfordBags · 14/01/2013 14:04

My 21 month old DS eats like a bloody horse. He's also a total boob monster and Bfs far longer and more often than other kids his age who are still BFed and he drinks a lot of water too. He is on the 40% centile for his age, weight-wise; my Dh is a lanky beanpole with a hollow leg too. Some kids really can eat a huge amount and it's not overfeeding. I always give him less than he wants just to make sure the desire for more is coming from him.

But back to the OP - I would also be concerned about the CM giving him that sort of grub a lot. I wouldn't eat non-food full of crap or treats that often, so I certainly don't see why my growing child should. It's not healthy or suitable for anyone of any age. It's hard though, because you clearly don't want to insult her or infer she is slack on some way. But I thinkyou need to say something... Good luck!

Pandemoniaa · 14/01/2013 14:15

YABU. She is a CM, not Nigella.

Have you opened a Pop-Up Shop that deals specifically in unhelpful and rude comments? Only that's mainly what you contribute.

No, YANBU, OP. The occasional, less than healthy treat, is OK but it's a whole lot better to keep toddlers away from overly processed food as long as possible and the best way to do it is not to let this sort of stuff get discovered earlier than it needs to be.

Regardless of the quantity of breakfast offered, Coco Pops, imho, don't even count as a proper breakfast cereal. They are merely chocolate and sugar which of course is why they are so popular! But I do think you need to say something.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/01/2013 14:33

Ok. Again, why is squash so shit? Just because it's got no nutritional value? Or is it actually poisoning my toddler's growing body?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/01/2013 14:34

if you forget to pack food, then surely you have to accept that the childminder may not be expecting to have to feed another child? If a bowl of coco pops is such a nightmare then all you have to do is provide food that you want your child to eat?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 14/01/2013 14:34

To the OP, I'd seriously say, if you don't like it, make your own food. Then just accept that on the days when you haven't organised meals, that's what he'll be having.

Original poster
pacific407 · 14/01/2013 14:35

I'm not sure the implication of my post was that I was expecting my CM to be Nigella, or Delia (and I certainly didn't say that) nor would I expect anyone to cook to my exact specifications. I'm not entirely unrealistic. I think it's fair enough, however, to say that I should be a bit more relaxed about it given there is no formal arrangement re: food and she does have other children to provide for whose parents are perhaps not as much of a PITA as I am! To an extent it is within my control as I can send him in with home-cooked stuff. But I think the squash and the coco pops is perhaps something I can raise as an issue.

And @ kinkyfuckery...why the inverted commas around "can't find the time"? Comes across as being a bit snarky and mean-spirited (is it not possible to struggle to find the time to think about and prepare the 2 meals per day I need to send him to the CM with?) - or have I misinterpreted?

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/01/2013 14:35

blackholes my dcs have always drunk squash. They are 14,13 and 9.
They seem to be ok Grin

Original poster
pacific407 · 14/01/2013 14:41

BlackholesAndRevelations - I think the issue with squash is that it is generally either full of sugar, or sweetener (which is probably worse from a health perspective). I don't necessarily think it's evil stuff, but as my DS seems really happy with just water I've not introduced him to squash and don't see the need to do so. If he's never taken to water (which I gather is not uncommon) then I would have probably given him squash as that's surely better than dehyrdation!

OP posts:
Original poster
pacific407 · 14/01/2013 14:44

TantrumsAndBalloons - of course they're ok! My post wasn't intended as an attack on everyone who gives their children squash. But I'm keen to restrict the amount of sugar and processed crap that my DS eats for as long as possible as I recognise there's a finite amount of time that I have control over what he eats and drinks. And I figure that the better his diet is at a young age, the better it will be for life. And surely that is a positive thing for his health?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 14/01/2013 14:46

wow some babies eat a lot at breakfast when mine were that age they would have cereal or toast genuinely confused at why anyway none of my business , OP just send your son with his food then he won't have to eat there it really is that simple that is what the CM provides your son doesn't have toe at it,

HelpOneAnother · 14/01/2013 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loofet · 14/01/2013 15:01

Yanbu.

Squash is shit, as are coco pops and all other cereals aimed at kids pretty much. Best cereal is good old porridge.
Water is the best and most ideal drink for us all. Squash is full of sugar and/or evil carcinogenic sweeteners, snap with fizzy drinks so should be avoided at all costs. Fresh fruit juice or smoothies are best as a 'treat' drink.

Yanbu to want healthier options for your child. I would just never forget to pack food. Chicken nuggets-urgh!

forevergreek · 14/01/2013 15:01

Squash = water plus a few spoons of sugar/ sweetner

Coco pops= no nutritional value plus more
Sugar

4 slices of toast! I would be worried about salf overload tbh. One slice of bread has more than the recommended daily allowance in salt for
A 1 year old. So I wouldn't be giving a baby even a whole slice of bread. Especially baring in mind all the other things that have salt in that is often hidden.

Apparently -' a baby's salt requirements are VERY small (less than 1g per day up to the age of 12 months) - and these needs are met by his breastmilk or formula.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 14/01/2013 16:28

Flobbadobs. So your son eats 6 slices of toast for breakfast! Wow!

Is he going through a growth spurt?

Do you mind if i ask if he's slim?

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 14/01/2013 16:31

Squash is full of sugar and/or evil carcinogenic sweeteners

Shock

Is that true?!

somewheresomehow · 14/01/2013 16:32

good grief can someone get a grip this food is shit that food is shit at this rate when these kids get hold of the forbidden stuff they will go overboard on it and then the fun will start
yes i have kids , yes they all had coco pops nuggets and god forbid squash vimto and no they are not fat, chocolate obsessed junk food addicts just normal healthy adults with a normal appetite and likes/dislikes

usualsuspect · 14/01/2013 16:38

The occasional fish finger and chicken nugget won't hurt him.

Nor will the occasional bowl of coco pops.

YABU.

3monkeys3 · 14/01/2013 16:51

My 4 year old day can easily eat 4 wheetabix for breakfast, plus fruit and then toast mid morning! He barely eats any supper though. I was under the impression that this is the right way round to eat in terms of portion size.

Yanbu but I'm not sure I'd get into too much of a tizz about it - a few bits and bobs like this won't hurt as long as the majority if his diet is healthy.

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